26 Reply by Anita Mumm

(5 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start - Spring 2015)

Great to meet you all, and thanks for posting your bios! I can tell it's going to be an honor to work with you over the course of the class. I love the variety in writing interests and genres. Most people find ways of getting people within their genres to read their work, but it's good to stretch the boundaries as well. It's a great way to learn new techniques and gather fresh energy to take back to your own work.

MIKIRA - I'm a big Anne McCaffrey fan, too. I also once dreamed of being a veterinarian but changed course for similar reasons (plus, blood makes me squeamish...). What a cool trajectory you've taken instead. A passel of Himalayan Persians--that must have been a riot!

UMIT - I like magical realism and your experimental style sounds intriguing. I'll look forward to some good discussions on here about how to bend or even break the rules, without zapping your chances of being picked up by a publisher. An ad man at the agency that inspired Mad Men? That's amazing! I wonder how much of the show rings true for you...

JESSICA - Cool that you do NaNoWriMo. And that's great that you've had professional feedback on your story. I'll look forward to being one of your fresh pairs of eyes. I'm jealous about Ireland! I've traveled quite a bit but have yet to make it there, and it's definitely a frontrunner.

JUDITH - I love that you pinpointed your genre thanks to a snooty article. It's probably not the phrase to use in a query letter, but a great anecdote should you find yourself in conversation with an agent. And wow, that hot air balloon ride must have been incredible. I once bought a ride, but then the company failed before I could go, and I can't help thinking I dodged a bullet. If I ever try again it will be with a more reputable company!

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27 Topic by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start - Spring 2015)

WEEKS 1-2 ASSIGNMENT - Lesson 1 is now available in the Content area of our group.

**Please post your response as a reply here. For Exercise 2, if you like, you can also do an in-line critique within the lesson (in Content).**


Exercise I: Reflection. Think about the first couple of chapters of your novel. What are your writing strengths? Are there any weaknesses you are aware of, or that you are concerned might be there? For this exercise, you can (1) post your answer here in the Forum if you want classmates to watch for these things in your writing; (2) email it to me privately, or (3) simply use this for personal reflection.


Exercise 2: Diagnose the problems. Read the passage at the end of Lesson 1 and decide which of the five pitfalls (covered in this lesson) it suffers from--there will be more than one! What are some suggestions you would give for cleaning it up?

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28 Topic by Anita Mumm

(0 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start - Spring 2015)

[I thought it would be a good idea to post a copy of my introductory email here in the Forum for quick reference. Please let me know if it didn't make it through to your inbox. My apologies for not sending it over the weekend - we needed to finalize the enrollment and make sure we had enough students to offer the class. We're a small group, but I'm really excited, as it will allow group members to get to know each other's work more closely.]


DEAR CRAFTING THE STRONGEST START GROUP,

Welcome! My name is Anita Mumm and I'll be your instructor for this 8-week online class offered through The Next Big Writer. You can read my bio, as well as the outline for the class, on the main page for our group under "Class Description."

I’m looking forward to getting to know you and your writing. Today (Monday), I’ll post the first lesson, which you’ll be able to access within the “Content” tab in our Group. In the meantime, this email will give you a bit of background information on the class.


—Please start by posting your bio in the Forum section (look for the post titled “Class Bios”). 

—As soon as you get a chance, please email me the first ten pages (or about 2500 words) of your novel, either as a Word document or within the body of your email. Include a 1-2 paragraph summary blurb at the beginning. If you’re still putting the finishing touches on your pages, that’s okay—just be sure to have them ready by next week, when I’ll ask you to share them with the class for critiquing. The benefit of this is I’ll be able to tailor the class more closely to your specific needs, right off the bat.

—During each 2-week lesson period, I'll ask you to post a 2500-word section of your novel (about 10 pages). Your classmates and I will give feedback on your work based on the topics covered. You can post your pages any time during the lesson period, but I encourage you to read the lesson first in case you want to make revisions based on what you learn. That way, the feedback you receive will either confirm that your revisions worked well, or guide you to make further changes.

—For each lesson, there will be a short homework assignment at the end of the lesson content. I will then start a thread in the Forum, where you can reply with your answers to the assignment any time during the two weeks allotted for that lesson. On the weeks where I don't post a new lesson (weeks 2, 4, 6, & 8), there will be optional exercises or discussion questions for those who want more practice/interaction.

—If you have questions related to the lessons, the homework, etc. you can send me a private message on TNBW, or if the question is pertinent for the group, you can post it in the Forum section, and I will respond in a timely fashion. You can also email me at this address: anitaedits@gmail.com.

—Since this is the first year courses have been offered on The Next Big Writer, we are working to make the process and workings of the site as user-friendly as possible. If you have suggestions, or experience any technical  problems, please contact Sol via the site or his email: snasisi@thenextbigwriter.com.


I hope you’ll find this class useful and encouraging. Every writer is at a different point in his or her journey, and a different skill level. Our aim here is to provide constructive feedback to build on each writer’s strengths. 

Happy writing! See you in class.

Anita Mumm
Writing Instructor/Freelance Editor
anitaedits@gmail.com

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29 Topic by Anita Mumm

(5 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start - Spring 2015)

Hello Crafting the Strongest Start Group!

Welcome to the class. I'm looking forward to getting to know you and your work over these next 8 weeks. This weekend, once we have our final enrollment, I'll send an email with some preliminary information and further details about the course. On Monday, our first day of class, I'll post Lesson 1 in the Content area for our group.

To help us get acquainted, and to give me a sense of your writing background, please reply to this post with your answers to the following questions. If there are any you prefer to skip, that's perfectly fine.

(1) In which genre(s) do you write?
(2) How long have you been writing?
(3) Is your primary goal to find a traditional publisher or to self-publish, or both (and have you published before)?
(4) Have you submitted your current work to agents or publishers, and if so, any feedback you’d like to share?
(5) Who are a couple of your favorite authors?
(6) What's a fun, quirky, or interesting fact about you?
--
You probably saw my bio in the class description, but I think I left out the fun or quirky fact. Let's see...I'll throw in my most interesting experience of late. About a year ago I spent four months in Dharamsala, India teaching at a school for Tibetan refugees. The students were young adults who had literally walked over the Himalayas to reach the community in India where the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan government in exile are located. Their goals were to get an education, improve their career prospects, and raise awareness about persecution in Tibet. Needless to say, it was a life-changing experience, one of the best of my life. Here is the school, if you're interested: http://www.estibet.ch.

I look forward to hearing about you!

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30 Reply by Anita Mumm

(1 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

No problem, Denise! Thanks for sharing. If you make revisions to your previous sections, feel free to post that as well for the group to give it an optional second look.

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31 Topic by Anita Mumm

(1 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello All,

Just a heads-up that I sent out an email this morning with the PDFs of the four lessons from our workshop. Feel free to use them as needed but please do not post or share any of the content, as I will continue to use it in my classes.

There were a couple of people who didn't receive my "welcome" email to the group at the beginning of the course, so please let me know if this one also didn't make it to your inbox and I'll try resending it individually.

I'll look forward to receiving your 25 pages in the next couple of weeks. Happy writing!

Best wishes,
Anita

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32 Reply by Anita Mumm

(1 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thanks, Cobber! I'll include my feedback on your revisions when I do your first 25 pages critique. Great idea to give the group a chance to chime in here as well.

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33 Reply by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thanks, Group! I see some excellent line editing here. I'll respond briefly to each item:

TERRI: Both of your edited versions convey the essential information, but I prefer the first one, as it’s a little more evocative of the physical scene. You're right, wordiness and redundancy led to the overall awkwardness of the passage. “Bright, sunny,” “without a cloud”—too much of the same information; “turquoise” and “blue” are also redundant.

DENISE: I like how you reworded this. It's punchy, like your writing style in general. You got rid of the wordiness and the reporting (she hated, she had to admit). It's also clear from your succinct version that Maria and Brian have broken up, so it's not necessary for her to spell that out.

STEFANIE: Yes. The main problem in your passage was reporting (he thought, he didn't think). You've removed that extra layer so readers can get in closer to the narration, and you also addressed the wordiness. We could probably tighten that last sentence even further: He couldn't stand her pity.

COBBER: Nice job on the wordiness. "Absolutely" is one of those ‘ly adverbs that adds a tinge of melodrama we didn't need. You also eliminated the redundancy (we don't need "in agreement" because "nodded" includes that).

PAMELA: Good job of tackling the wordiness. I’d go with your first one because I think we do lose a bit of the meaning in the second version (the sense that Charlie’s son has been a disappointment for some time, but he still didn’t expect him to stoop so low).
--
For #1, we just need to eliminate the redundancy and a bit of wordiness, for example: "And since you're my favorite customer," Mr. Lucas said, smiling ["happily" is unnecessary]. "I'll throw in this frisbee." The boy watched it glide ["smoothly" is included in the verb] across the room and land behind his father's heels. He ran to pick it up.

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34 Reply by Anita Mumm

(13 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

So true, Denise! Especially for people with common interests. smile

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35 Reply by Anita Mumm

(13 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Nice. Donald Maas is a great addition here (The Fire in Fiction and its predecessor, Writing the Breakout Novel). He also contributes now and then to a blog I like: http://writerunboxed.com. Cobber, thanks for adding Zuckerman's book--I'll have to check it out as it sounds like it fits in that same category. Denise, Ackerman and Grambs sound useful for tackling the grounding/descriptive information we've been discussing in the class, and ratcheting up the emotional tension. Fantastic!

Terri and Denise, how cool that you were at the same conference. I hope I run into folks from this group some day...I do love making the rounds on the conference scene!

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36 Reply by Anita Mumm

(13 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

No worries, Terri! I'm glad to see we're on the same page with James Scott Bell and Stephen King. Great idea to add Strunk & White to the list as well. In the lesson I listed resources mainly related to self-editing and other issues we talked about in this class. But we can open it up more widely, too. James Scott Bell also has a great book for big picture plot issues; it's called Plot & Structure. Cool that you got to see him at a conference!

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37 Topic by Anita Mumm

(13 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

As I mentioned at the end of Lesson 4, I'd like to give you a chance to share some of your favorite resources about writing craft with the group. Please feel free to post them here.

Many thanks!

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38 Topic by Anita Mumm

(0 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello Class,


LESSON 4 AND ASSIGNMENT 4 ARE NOW AVAILABLE IN THE CONTENT AREA. Since this is our final week, I'll add a few notes here to clarify the next steps.


EXERCISES: In this week's lesson, the first exercise allows you to practice the line editing techniques you've learned. Please post your response to ONE of the six sample passages as a reply to my Assignment post here in the Forum.


CRITIQUING: This week, I'm not going to have you add additional material, since our line editing techniques can apply to any sample of your writing. Please read Exercise 2 in the lesson and see if you can identify an example or two of things you need to fix in YOUR writing. You are welcome to go back and point out issues you remember seeing in your classmates' work as well, but this week's main focus is on self-critique.


SUBMITTING YOUR FIRST 25 PAGES: As promised at the beginning of the course, you'll now have a chance to send me a longer sample of your work--the first 25 pages (about 6,000-6,500 words). Please send them as a WORD document, 12pt double-spaced.

You may want to take a bit more time to revise the sections you submitted here on the site, based on the feedback you have received. I just ask that you send me your material within TWO WEEKS of the last day of class (DEADLINE: MARCH 1). I will send you a 2-3 page critique letter within two weeks of the date I receive your material. If you have specific questions or concerns about your manuscript sample, please include those in your email.


After everything is finished, you'll receive a request for feedback on the class. We appreciate your thoughts and suggestions for continuing to improve the curriculum and your experience using the site.

Last but not least, THANK YOU for all of your hard work and contributions to the class. I hope it has been a useful stepping stone toward your writing goals. I've enjoyed getting to know you and your work!


Very best wishes,
~Anita

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39 Topic by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

EXERCISE 1: With apologies for the flood of purple prose, here are six sentences showing one or more of the red flags from this week's lesson. First identify the problem(s) and then line edit the passage for a stronger result. Try doing each of them on your own, and then post your answer to ONE item as a reply in the Forum. Please choose a passage no one else has responded to so we cover all of them. I’ll give feedback at the end.


(1)  “And since you’re my favorite customer,” Mr. Lucas said, smiling happily, “I’ll throw in this frisbee free of charge.” The boy watched it glide smoothly across the room and land just short of his father's heels. He ran to pick it up.

(2)  Walter closed the door and watched her through the peephole as she got on the elevator. He thought maybe he shouldn’t have told her the truth. What if she felt sorry for him now? He didn’t think he could stand to see pity in her eyes.

(3)  Even after all these years and the countless disappointments, it never would have occurred to Charlie that his own son would be the one to sell him out in the end.

(4)  Sarah nodded in agreement. “You’re absolutely right, Mrs. Tucker. I’d go with the beige drapes over the camel ones any day.”

(5)  Maria thought back to all the reasons she had broken up with Brian. He was messy, it took him hours to return her calls, he liked the wrong movies. Furthermore, he was a terrible kisser and she hated that cologne he doused his neck with every morning. Still, she had to admit she missed him nonetheless.

(6)  George opened the curtains. It was a bright sunny day without a cloud in the atmosphere. The turquoise blue sky made him think yesterday’s fiasco might have been just a dream.

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40 Reply by Anita Mumm

(2 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello Pamela,

I'm sorry not to have seen your question sooner. You're right, originally I planned to use only the first five pages, but after that first round of critiquing, I was afraid it might get confusing or redundant to re-critique the same section only. Also, adding a bit more gives a better sense of the inciting incident and conflict. So, this week we're working with the next five pages/1500 words. Sorry for any confusion--since this is the first time this class has been offered on here there are a few adjustments to make as we go along. If you'd rather have me stick to your original section for the second critique, just let me know and I can do that.

Thanks!
Anita

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41 Reply by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

This is great, Stefanie! I love The Sound of Music.

Yes, I think you nailed the inciting incident, and you also make a good point--often it's something a character doesn't want to do or wouldn't have chosen to do. In the end, those are usually the things that lead to growth because they get people out of their comfort zones.

Good work on the conflict, too. Probably one of the things that makes this story an enduring classic is the fact that it has at least THREE layers of conflict. There is the external one you mentioned (Maria learning how to help this family and find her place in it), and the wonderful internal conflict she wrestles with as she falls in love with Captain von Trapp and his family (which is incompatible with her life in the Church). Added to this is the historical context, which brings an even broader conflict--the spread of the Nazi Empire and its effect on the people of Austria.

In terms of tension, that's a great scene you chose--putting a character in a position of discomfort is a great way to build tension, and that situation certainly fits the bill!

Thanks for your detailed analysis.

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42 Reply by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thanks for your hard work on this assignment! This was just what I was looking for. I'll go ahead and respond to your work, and the other class members can post their answers whenever they complete them.

DENISE: It had been a while since I watched Titanic, but you brought it all back for me. For the inciting incident, yes, I think you could make a case for both of the situations you mentioned. Since this is, above all, a love story, the characters’ meeting each other is definitely key for igniting the plot. You’re also right about the confict—the overarching external one has to do with these two characters fighting society’s expectations, and both of them struggle inwardly with doubts and questions as a result. This dual layer of conflict sets up a steady level of tension throughout the story, foreshadowing the tragic result of the love story and the Titanic’s hitting the iceberg. Good work.

TERRI: Love it! Your playful tone here took me right back to the movie. Good work on the inciting incident and conflict. You also pinpointed one of the reasons why this movie is so gripping—that much of the tension is based on what we know that the characters don’t; or that we know something they haven’t admitted yet, and we’re dying to know if they’ll come out and say what they’re feeling. You just made me want to see it again. Netflix cue, check!

COBBER: Great work. Yes, Hagrid’s appearance is what really sets the story in motion, and you gave a nice overview of the overarching external confict with Voldemort. You’re also right that, like in many middle grade and young adult stories, the internal conflict centers around the main character’s struggle to live up to the expectations placed on him, and his coming to terms with the heroic role he must assume. Nice choice of scene to illustrate tension. As you pointed out, a great way to add tension is to let readers know that something big is about to happen to the main character, but to keep thwarting his discovery of it, driving up readers’ impatience in the best possible way.

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43 Topic by Anita Mumm

(2 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello Class,

Pamela asked how long the lesson materials will be available here on the site. I will leave the materials up for one month, and once the class ends, I will also email you a PDF of each lesson so you can refer back to them any time. I'd just ask that you not post the materials anywhere or share them widely, as I will continue to teach the class regularly.

Thanks!
Anita

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44 Reply by Anita Mumm

(4 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thank you, Denise! For those who haven't done that yet, please post your next 5 pages/1500 words as soon as you can.

~Anita

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45 Reply by Anita Mumm

(2 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

That is a good question! Let me check with Sol on that...

The short answer is don't worry, they won't disappear the minute the class ends.

Thanks,
Anita

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46 Reply by Anita Mumm

(4 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thank you, Pamela! No problem--it's completely understandable. As you'll see in this week's lesson, time pressure is great for creating tension in a novel, but here in class you can take the time you need. Have a great week.

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47 Topic by Anita Mumm

(0 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello Class,

Just a heads-up that this week's lesson and exercises are now up for you to read at your convenience:

http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … sion-20196

For Exercise 1, I have started a separate thread here in the Forum for you to share your answers if possible. As always, please let me know if you have any questions or need clarification on any of the material.

For Exercise 2: There are instructions in the assignment for posting the NEXT five pages of your novel and critiquing classmates' work. I thought last week's critiques went very well--lots of specific and very useful feedback.

Thanks for all your hard work and have a great week!

~Anita

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48 Topic by Anita Mumm

(6 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Exercise 1: IDENTIFYING THE CONFLICT. Choose one of the following novels or movies that you are familiar with (or add one of your own—just make sure it’s one your classmates are likely to have read/saw, or at least are nominally familiar with).

Jurassic Park
Fight Club
Gone Girl
Titanic
Stephen King's Carrie
Harry Potter & The Sorcerer’s Stone
The Great Gatsby
Casablanca
The Lion, the Witch, & The Wardrobe

Now see if you can identify the following elements in the story. Please share your insights as a reply to this post.

(A) The inciting incident

(B) The conflict (both external and internal) and what category they belong to (character versus society, character versus self, etc.)

(C) An explanation of the tension in a particular scene (why do we feel tension and what techniques does the author or film-maker use to create it?)

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49 Reply by Anita Mumm

(2 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Thank you for posting this, Terri. For the homework passage, I can definitely see why you would want to scrap the entire passage--it had more than its share of problems! In that case, the writer may well be better off to start over from a different angle. However, if we were to try to fix it, the consensus in the class seems to be cutting those last two paragraphs, which were mostly backstory or rambling, and get the story back on track with better character description and a sense of direction.

Thank you also for sharing some things you would like us to watch for in your writing. I like the way you put that last item--believability of characters' actions and how this often depends on how deeply we have immersed readers in the story. To some extent this is beyond your control, since we all come from different backgrounds and experiences and these things affect the way we read a character; even the most popular published novels will have doubters here and there. However, if you have received this criticism more than once for the same passage, it's safe to assume it needs tweaking.

As to your question about assignments and critiquing, I started a new thread about that and hopefully it clarified things.

Good luck digging out in the aftermath of that blizzard! Meanwhile, it was 70 degrees here in Denver. Bizarre. I guess we have it coming!

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50 Topic by Anita Mumm

(2 replies, posted in Crafting the Strongest Start (Online Class))

Hello Class,

Just a heads-up, in case you didn't see it yesterday, that Lesson 2 is now available:

http://www.thenextbigwriter.com/posting … ting-20140

After reading through the lesson, you'll see this week's assignment, which includes posting your summary blurb/first five pages (about 1500 words), and the first round of critiquing. For this week's critiques, we'll focus on character, voice, and setting. Next week I'll have you post the next section of your novel and we'll work on that lesson's topics.

If anything about the process is unclear, feel free to post questions here!

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