Topic: Janet-Northern Skies

Your review reply got me thinking....

I don't think you need a prologue in order for your readers to get an idea of who Matthew is. The primary reason I made that comment about the difficulty in getting to know him was because I felt you spent too much time splitting your focus so you could introduce a cast of characters rather than zeroing us in on your MC. In that sense, the 'fix', if you will, isn't to write a prologue about Matthew, it would be to consider shifting your focus from broad spectrum to a narrower one. The presence of so many faces steals power away from your MC because the scope of action is so broad amongst those faces. Not only is it difficult to try and remember all of them, but the action jumps around just enough that it becomes difficult to get a bead on any one of them sufficiently. 

If you consider narrowing your writing focus to only what Matthew sees, hears, thinks, or is concerned about within the main action, not only will the reader get a much clearer picture of him, it also gives you the platform to introduce the most important element of any first chapter: Hatching your plot via significant situation.

Also, you commented about the original POV of Catherine's being too internal or introspective, thus being an action killer. I don't know who gave you that advice, but I'd urge you to read up on the subject before heeding the advice.  As long as the introspection is happening within the relative action, and not stalling the forward movement, intimate narrative is a vitally important tool for inviting your reader into your protagonist's world. It allows room to highlight the personal side/toll of the stakes within the 'significant situation' as the protag is forced to react/act. I.E. allowing the reader to get to know the character.

It is for the above reason that I preferred your first version from Catherine's POV because to a large degree, you accomplished giving us a firm look at her, as well as imparting a ton of key plot information within her introspection.

Hope this helps.

Re: Janet-Northern Skies

Hey Linda

I've moved this to the Romance Group otherwise the feedback and comments will be spread too widely over too many groups!  Thanks!