1 (edited by Dirk B. 2022-02-16 02:18:58)

Topic: grammar question

I think I know the answer to this, but I'm not 100% sure. I have the following sentence:

Campagna and Trentino drew their weapons and checked the man for a pulse.

Campagna is a woman. Since I use her name too often in my latest chapter, I'm replacing some instances with pronouns. So, that yields

She and Trentino drew their weapons and checked the man for a pulse.

That seems right to me, except that one normally lists oneself last and I'm in her point of view. Thus,

Trentino and she drew their weapons and checked the man for a pulse.

Common sense tell me that's correct, but it reads off to me, perhaps because I don't remember seeing anything written that way. I keep wanting to replace she with her in the above sentence.

Thoughts?
Dirk

Re: grammar question

Not grammar, but a PoV qusstion.  So long aa you have a third-person narrator, both characters are third person to the narrator.

No?

Re: grammar question

It's more of a "she" vs "her" question. Since the part highlighted in blue is the subject, I think "she" is correct. It just reads weird to me when "she" appears second.

Re: grammar question

That's certainly correct.  Putting the pronoun first seems more common, though.

Re: grammar question

Thanks. I'll put "she" first.

6 (edited by George FLC 2022-02-17 00:40:26)

Re: grammar question

Grammarly had issues with 'Tretino and she' but was fine with 'She and Tretino' so my vote is for 'She and Tretino'!

Re: grammar question

Cool. Thanks.

8 (edited by njc 2022-02-17 03:36:31)

Re: grammar question

I've seen grammar analyzers make some truly excerebrose, xylocephalic mistakes.  English grammar is not fully separate from the meanings it joins, word into larger structure.  My faith in mechanical grammar analyzers and verifiers is negative.

9 (edited by George FLC 2022-02-17 01:22:50)

Re: grammar question

Unfortunately, those mechanical grammar analyzers are probably still better than I am at grammar! :-)
I'll have to look up a couple words that you used but not tonight... so long folks!

Re: grammar question

Interesting. Google found no matches at all for exverebrosr. It was only by looking at the keyboard to see what letters njc might have mistyped that I got the English-like word excerebrose, which turned out to be a real word.  I'd like see an excerebrose AI figure that one out.

11

Re: grammar question

Yep.  My thumb-o.  I've fixed it up above.  Look up Peter Bowler's abecedarian insult.

Re: grammar question

My favorite is dasypygal. I may use that in Galaxy Tales, when Leonardo taunts his pursuers over the skies of Rome.

13

Re: grammar question

Contrast 'callipygian' and 'steatopygic'.  The former appears in a side story (Cindarella) on Girl Genius and the latter in one of Edmund Crispin's Gervase Fen stories, describing the nominally nude figure decorating the radiator cap of Fen's car, Lilly Christine III.