If you went with the previous concept, you could put one or two nanoids in each bullet - don't need thousands if they're going to start replicating once released.

It would be a lot of work for a nanoid to bind free-floating air molecules into anything useful. You're looking to break some pretty tight covalent bonds just to get use out of a water molecule. It's best you keep them working at the molecular level than the atomic unless they have infinite power handy

Most would suggest carbon. It's available in abundance from cells, allowing for replication. Probably need a bit of silicon (not sure where theyd get that) and iron (easily obtained from the bloodstream). In my story, they latch onto the mitochondria for juice

Perhaps the laser struck a neural implant?

There are more missing chunks, which I'll try to hit when I reach that point. You're possibly experiencing the fear of overexplaining. It's a legitimate concern.

There are significant portions of that scene that you can see in your head so clearly, you don't feel you should write them down

s lazed = a laser


I eliminated the word banking because it was causing confusion

You poor thing. Here's a cookie

My cadets execute banking moves as they arc toward/away from the Actium's main hangar bay, trying to overload the shield emitter while minimizing exposure to cannons surrounding the bay

Not sure I get this one. Banking increases your radar cross section as well as presents a larger surface area for a cannon to hit.
Perhaps we each mean something different by "bank"

They're flying in circles along the side of the enemy warship

Did you mean encircling? Around?
Ont tiny word, so much difference in meaning. Any time I not that I'm not 100% certain where everyone is, just hunt for words like this and you'll get people like me on the level.

In regards to the topic in the other group (and in the interest of avoiding debate with CFB), I'd like to add that I don't mind when an author omits the "looking in" factors of the POV character.
"his eyes were red" or "he was disheveled" or "he paled" / "he went white as a ghost" I'd prefer (as a reader) these observations come via dialog from someone observing the M/C. If the M/C has to tell me, I feel like he's stepped out of the situation to keep me informed. I mean, if I walk into an elevator and see a tiger, the last thing I'm thinking is how pale I am.
When in doubt, imagine Paul Atreides blushing.

That said, in your case, the character's redness is very much of interest to the character, and he'd probably be thinking about it.

Another thought... I wonder if we all feel ourselves "go red". That might be part of the anti-beet-red segment's opinion. I've certainly never done it unless you count that time I did a 20 minute handstand as a kid. I can imagine what it feels like. I'm no shrinking violet, socially speaking. There isn't a dialogue we could have in public that would make me shy and awkward like that (I would expect no less of any e-type personality, movie star, or prince).

You're correct so far...

note: Star Trek and Star Wars both break the laws of physics. Objects in space sometime bank as if travelling through a medium. Some objects drift to a stop despite lacking a brakign mechanism. I have a catch I've complained on here before where an object "blows" off Anakin's starboard wing.

So if your story makes some stretches, it's well within reason


(8 replies, posted in TheNextBigWriter Premium)


Sure. Consider this conversation between Alice and Bob, the latter of whom has just emerged crawling from a fiery car crash only to collopse a few steps away.

Alice: Bob! Oh no! I think his heart just stopped. I'd better inject him with an unsafe amount of steroids
Bob: (wakes up): Alice! I should be dead!
Alice: I gave you a dangerous injection. You now have twenty minutes to live!
Bob: Twenty minutes!
Alice: Go to the hospital. Get help.
Bob: I gotta get back in that burning car and rescue other passengers
Alice: Are you crazy?!? I said you have twenty minutes to live!!
Bob: I will never leave my companions to die. Help me.
Alice: Yes, Bob. I will accompany you on this quest. Bob? Bob? What are you doing? Why are you sitting back down?
Bob: Alice... I wonder about my car's spedometer. Do you think it gave me an accurate representation of my speed?
Alice: Twenty minutes, Bob. You're going to die in twenty minutes.
Bob: I wonder how I can find out. What if we never learn the truth?
Alice: Look... while you get all existential, I'm going to go bake muffins.

I've added a little stress to this, but that's basically what happens. All the characters except one are acting with a high level of urgency. the one calm character (the M/C) somehow manages to cool them down to his level and even engages them on philosophical debate. What' missing in my example story is character C who will make a turnkey statement that allows Bob to change tracks .

Bob: I gotta get back in that burning car and rescue other passengers
Alice: Are you crazy?!? I said you have twenty minutes to live!!
Bob: I will never leave my companions to die. Help me.
Alice: Yes, Bob. I will accompany you on this quest.
Chris: Bob! I just ran a scan of the flight recorder. Apparently you broke the speed of sound!
Bob: What? *falls to his knees* That-- that's impossible
Alice: Bob? Bob? What are you doing? Why are you sitting back down?
Bob: Alice... I wonder about my car's spedometer. Do you think it gave me an accurate representation of my speed?

It's still a little zany with C but I hope you can see how C adjusts A's energy level.

Ok... reviewed the section. hat I said about not having enough power to affect a direction change in time appears to stand. Should I draw out the diagrams?

Yes... what njc said.

Your ship has 100 units of momentum. Your internal power can create 50 units per second of change in momentum. You need 110 units per second to avoid collision. It become impossible to avoid collision. Therefore, the solution is not to avoid collision but to embrace it.

*if we want to get technical, this is a rate of rate of change. Eg 50 units per second per second.

From the man who wrote an entire book so he could get a character pregnant and bring the child into his plot-line

Funny. But I can't tell if the book you're referring to is the Kwan/Alita/Lorraine thread or the Jenna-Inga thread or the Reiki-Catherine Starsong thread or the Kimberly-Xander Rose thread

haha no I mean impressed with their character development

I'm impressed with Adam and Eve. Have I managed to influence you? Or was that the original plan?

They know the location of the bridge and are headed directly in that direction

Consider the defensive technique used by our neighbours to the south of the border. The Whitehouse is not easily hidden. Would-be invaders might seek to destroy it in an effort to snip off the governing head of the country. Unfortunately for them, during a national emergency, they will never catch both the captain and the first officer in it at the same time. If anything, attacking the Whitehouse during an invasion is playing into the hands of hte defenders.

To help deter boarding parties, I'd also...

a) build Death Star style trash compactors... effectively innocuous rooms designed to crush people who enter. Compromised computer terminals would direct would-be boarders into these rooms under the promise of them being important control rooms

b) Fill a few halways with microscopic bugs designed to eat the casing of laser rifle power supplies (my own troops would be instructed not to go in those rooms)

c) have ejection systems designed to flush unwanted occupants out of the room using compressed air. They would be shunted into the aforementioned trash compactors or entirely off the ship. Preferably at a velocity near the speed of sound.

d) design my laser rooms to melt any known protective shield. After all, lasers can reach millions of degrees, but steel's melting point is much lower. Also, my guillotine rooms and my poisoned-spike rooms would use molecular blades for that extra cutting ability.

e) have rotatable decks such that a compromised deck can be converted into a circular maze on demand

f) have a special spray gun of quick-drying glue or cement. "Drown" boarding parties in it, effectively converting the room into gelatin. Even if they get out before it hardens into rock, they'll be sticking to everything and their visors will be impossible to see through

g) have rooms blaring Celine Dion at 100dB (Does Neuer Mond classify this as torture?)

h) Every room on the ship's map would be labelled "bridge" except one, labelled "janitor's closet". This latter room would actually turn out to be a janitor's closet

Let me know if your defenders need any more help. Amy's also good at this stff.

Also, is there anything here that I'm not accounting for?

Boarding would be very expensive in the future.


"However, the pilot abandoned pursuit of Anastasia"

Edit: To get the key combinations above, I had to type épée and watch my fingers

US keyboard + number pad so I can do the accents.

Typing "ça va" is basically alt-1-3-5 a[space]v a for me.

I've long since memorized the esoteric patterns for this, so it doesn't even faze me when I type alt-1-3-0 p alt-1-3-0 e to get épée. In fact, using a French keyboard to do this would slow me down because my addled brain has been doing it this was for 30 years (developing new neural pathways is way too much effort)

Four looks right to me

And yes, we're somehow on the same of similar pages for the capitalization

Jenna is lawful evil