Topic: Thoughts on this prologue?
I'd be curious to know what others think of this new opening to my prologue. It's actually a sneak peek two weeks into the future at chapter 32. [This excerpt has been updated with changes from those who've commented so far.]
On the Sea of Galilee, a cool breeze raised azure-blue swells that glinted in the late afternoon sun. Father Romano and fourteen-year-old Connor led their tour group on a long walk beside the ancient lake. Rolling hills, startling in their beauty, ringed the body of water — silent witnesses to the events of two thousand years ago.
It was in these lands that Jesus Christ — God himself! — had walked the Earth.
Romano said, “What an incredible sight. This is where the Lord walked on water and stilled two storms.”
The group’s path lay close to the dirt-encrusted road, where their drivers followed in the SUVs. They stopped at a quiet rest area near the water’s edge.
Connor sat cross-legged on the ground, his back against a Palestine oak, and watched the sky turn orange with the setting sun. He whittled a fallen branch using the demonic dagger to which he’d become inextricably linked. The water lapped the rocky shore ten meters beyond his feet.
A black-winged, white-bellied bird shrieked as it circled high overhead.
“What kind of bird is that, Father Bianchi?” Connor asked the group's Holy Land guide.
The Franciscan friar looked up and squinted, then smiled. “That’s either a flying penguin or a pratincole. The latter are also known as locust birds because the insects are a staple of their diet.”
An eerie calm settled over the area as the wind, the lapping water, and the birds and insects grew still.
“That’s odd,” Romano said.
Connor rose and scanned the horizon, then closed his eyes in concentration, his brow furrowing. “There’s danger here.”
Romano and the others turned to face the demonic locusts, which had gathered their remaining numbers into a cluster — an attack formation. The insects curved up and away from the group, turned in an arc, and dove. “Here they come!”
As shown, the prologue ends with a cliffhanger, which isn't resolved until chapter 32.
Do you find this opening compelling?