Directions to Assemble

Directions to Assemble

Directions to assemble: MUST have packages 1 and 2 for necessary product placement. Assembling without both packages may cause damage. If it is extremely necessary to assemble without both packages, please use caution.

1: First remove outer wrapping from package 1 and package 2.

A: May have some difficulty with wrapping. Remove with care. Do not attempt removal of packaging if proper unwrapping rituals have not been completed.

2: Connect lip A of package 2 to lip A of package 1.

    A: Suction can occur during this stage. Caution is advised.

3: Wrap appendage A and B of package 2 around package 1.

    A: Be careful during this step, as package 2 can damage package 1.

4: Move both packages to a secure horizontal position on soft surface.

    A: This step is optional, if vertical positioning is desirable.

5: Place appendages A and B of both packages in desired order around other package.

    A: Tangles can occur during this stage. Caution is advised.

6: Continue moving appendages of both packages until units are in desired positions.

    A: This step is critical to ensure the stability of both packages.

7: Insert tab A of package 2 into slot A of package 1.

• *WARNING! Be careful during this stage, as electrical shock can occur. Also it is sometimes hard to insert tab A, and has to be moved around. Explosion can occur if process is done too fast. Insertion of tab A into slot A may cause undue swelling above slot B. This can take up to 9 months to fix, and will cause both packages to require additional space for storage. Failure to complete the above steps will result in slot becoming fused. Any attempt to insert tab A will result in damage. Speakers on package 1 may be loud during this step. Do not worry, as the speakers will level out with repeated use.

8: Once current is running through both packages, repeat steps two and five.

    A: This process should take more than five minutes.

9: Once these steps are completed, repeat steps three and five.

    A: If package 2 rolls over and snores after this step, there may be a malfunction.

10: Now that you are finished assembling, lay back and enjoy your achievement.

    A: Smoking may occur after these steps. This is not a product malfunction.

• *WARNING! If package 2 snores after above steps, especially after step seven, package may be damaged. Please return package to distribution center for overhaul.
• If package 1 snores during step 7, package 2 may have the wrong sized tab A. Either find another means to achieve step 8, or return package 2 to distribution center.
• DISCLAIMER: If package 2 has to read these instructions before assembly, then package 1 may not allow insertion of tab A into slot A. Also package 1 may be more than package 2 can handle.
• If explosion occurs before insertion of tab A into slot B, package 2 may need to be returned to distribution center for processing.
• Moisture is created with above steps. Please keep away from electrical appliances and sockets.
• After several years of use, package 1 may become larger. This is not to be feared. The mature model is by far a more durable and satisfying.
• Keep these directions hidden from package 1.

© Copyright 2006 Barry N Davidson

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