Four for Three Dollars

I am looking for feedback on this essay, which was a blog entry a week or two ago. Someone who stopped in on my blog gave me a huge shout out on it. So I may submit it to the Home Forum at the Christian Science Monitor. They accept personal essays of 900 words or less that must have a theme present, "that take the reader on a journey with you on a journey of self-discovery." Does this fit the bill? How can I make it stronger? Just edited this a.m. 8/27, per the suggestions of my first five reviewers. Tnanks for the help. Any other ideas?

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