Hardware

I'm reworking this novel, which was written for the Romantic Suspense Genre. I'm trying to keep the suspense going. I also want to deepen the characters and show more of their responses.
THOUGHTS ARE NO LONGER IN ITALICS. IT GURGLE-FURGLES MY POSTINGS (DOUBLES UP EACH PARAGRAPH AFTER THE ITALICS).
Is there enough intrigue to keep you interested?
I know people need points for posting, but please, DO NOT LEAVE ME A DRIVE-BY REVIEW. I NEVER do drive-by reviews, so I don't appreciate them. Thank you.
Some Patois is included in the language.
All currency is Jamaican dollars - Exchange rate is US$1.00:$J90.00