Shingle Bumps

During the summer my associate Kelly missed three weeks in the book department due to a serious case of shingles, which can hurt more worse than kidney stones. Holiday retail hell is upon us, and if Kelly thinks she can bail once again by contracting a painful and debilitating disease, she has no real understanding of the level of my mental instability. The last line of this poem is dedicated to the customer I waited on today who seemed to think I’m less intelligent than a half-eaten bowl of mushy fruit. This can and should be sung to the tune of 'Jingle Bells' and while you're singing, try to look one step away from being committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.

• Page 1 - Shingle Bumps"During the summer my associ..."