Loss and Alone

This is a poem enbedded in my second chapter of my new, old sci-fi novel. I am not a poet, so I am seeking to make it stronger. Memorable. Please review accodingly. Also know this is a reposting that recieved a harsh review previously. So, I must demand the harshest critique for me to perceive the review to be valid. If you don't like it, tell me, just don't make it personal (I already know I am not a professional poetry writer). The novel summary: The protag has just had his world destroyed. He also has just realized that his family, all of his family, along with every other person in the world has been destroyed with the world. He is now alone. He holds a keepsake that is all that remains of his heritage. This is where the poem picks up. I would like to have the poem able to stand on its own merrits but I understand if it cannot. It still should be good. Notice: I cannot promise reciprocation as I have a full review schedual.

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