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Title |
Author |
Type |
Reviews |
Credits |
Date |
 | The Search for Wimpy Bumbuster (rewrite) | opsimath | Novel | 0 | n/a | May 12, 2008 |
Summary:This is a spoof of the career of a notorious fugitive and his mistress and of the attempts of the FBI to find them, and also of aspects of contemporary U.S. life such as our preoccupation with and ignorance of nutrition and exercise, and a banking industry that facilitates easy movement of proceeds from criminal activity.
Although I hope it is funny, I changed the genre from humor to literary fiction because deeper meaning emerged in the first 18 chapters.
I very much appreciated reviews on the first submission, hope this is improved, and welcome any and all suggestions.Chapters: |
 | A Free Woman | genevieve | Novel | 1 | n/a | May 12, 2008 |
Summary:This is the story of Shara, a contemporary, religious Jewish woman whose past collides with her present. The portrayal of her lifestyle, culture, marriage, etc., are authentic. I am interested in all comments, including nitpicky language issues. I don't mind compliments if you have no criticisms to make. :) They'll help keep me going so I can finish the book. Thank you and enjoy.Chapters: |
 | TOPSY-BABY AND THE WOLF Part Two | rlvs | Short Story | 3 | 0.78 | May 11, 2008 |
Summary:Topsy-Baby and Little Black Red Riding Hood meet a steaming Alligator in the dreary swamp.Chapters: |
 | The Coffee Diary | The Coffee Lady | Novel | 2 | n/a | May 11, 2008 |
Summary:The Coffee Diary
This is a story of Veronica who grows up in Guatemala on a coffee farm. As a teen she rebels against her father and the culture and leaves the country hoping never to return. When her father is murdered by extortionists he leaves her the farm. The corrupt mayor of the town of Moyuta has been calling her in California wanting to buy the farm. She returns to Guatemala to decide whether to sell Las Marias or to continue running it, and she finds a diary that she had written at 14. She relives that year and discovers that her father's died to preserve the farm for her.
Chapters: |
 | My Dad's Shoebox | Lavina Byrne | Short Story | 4 | 1.47 | May 10, 2008 |
Summary:This is a piece about my dad. I've been trying to sort out my relationship with him for years and this is my first attempt. I am looking to see if it flows, any tense or PV corrections and if the metaphor between the shoe box and the coffin stands out. Any other suggestions or ideas on how to tighten it up with be great. Thanks.Chapters: |
 | The Language of Thunder | michelle willms | Novel | 1 | n/a | May 10, 2008 |
Summary:Sam Tabor is a bright child with a promising future, but when her alcoholic mother gets a new boyfriend, her world starts to fall apart piece by piece. Sam hits the streets and stumbles into The Mercury Diner, where she’s told by a kind waitress to seek out a man by the name of Bruno, who can be found in The Jungle. After years in The Jungle, Bruno’s business partner calls in a debt. Sam’s world crumbles again, but a man with multiple identities intercedes on her behalf, and believes the young girl will be safeguarded in a maximum security prison. Out of jail, Sam is offered a safe place to live, but is she really freed from her past, and danger? Chapters: |
 | Poetic License (OOB #10) | new_england | Short Story | 2 | 0.00 | May 9, 2008 |
Summary:Boy spies on Fortune Teller and survives to tell about it. This story is tenth in a series of connected vignettes with common characters. It can be read as a stand alone as well. The setting is Old Orchard Beach, Maine, one of the last of the the oceanside amusement parks.
As usual, I'm looking for global and specific comments on what worked and what didn't. Thanks!Chapters: |
 | Sanaz's Story | lisa | Novel | 0 | n/a | May 9, 2008 |
Summary:On a snowy day in January 1985, Sanaz’ husband finally agrees to meet her to sign the divorce papers. Before any pen meets paper, he pulls out a gun, shoots her and then himself. When she survives and he does not, Sanaz faces both an end and a beginning. The novel proceeds with alternate passages: Sanaz’ teens up to this trauma, and the time of the shooting forward.Chapters: |
 | Feed the Meter | William Murrow | Novel | 1 | n/a | May 9, 2008 |
Summary:Witness Frank Donnelly battle Zeus and his army of Cyclopes. Plenty of sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll. Violence, too.Chapters: |
 | TOPSY-BABY AND THE WOLF | rlvs | Short Story | 5 | 0.47 | May 9, 2008 |
Summary:For children of all ages. Chapters: |
 | A Bedtime Story | Doc Taylor | Short Story | 4 | 0.30 | May 8, 2008 |
Summary:A story about a man in the hospitalChapters: |
 | Sea's the Day (OOB #9) | new_england | Short Story | 3 | 0.97 | May 7, 2008 |
Summary:The boys want the dirt on Skip's night with Clare. To talk or not to talk? This stands alone (as do the boys out in the frigid Maine sea) but is part of a series of stories sharing common characters. The story chronicling Skip's "first time" that night on the beach with Clare is called "Stage-Struck."
I'm looking for help on what is effective and what is not -- both overall and in the trenches (sentences, words, what-not). Thanks.Chapters: |
 | Panopticon | tan101 | Novel | 1 | n/a | May 7, 2008 |
Summary:'Panopticon' is the story of a family (mother and three daughters) adjusting to life after divorce from a cruel and oppresive husband and father. The story is narrated by the eldest daughter, Matilda, an over-analytical woman in her mid-twenties, who returns home to Spain after 5 years of self-exile in London, to help run the chaotic and crumbling hotel that her mother has taken on. It is not long before the hotel starts to feel like a prison to Matilda, who must deal with the looming shadow of her father and her obsession with escapeChapters: |
 | The American | s_thatcher | Novel | 3 | n/a | May 6, 2008 |
Summary:Set in 1953 post-hurricane Puerto Rico, David Brandt, a mining geologist, arrives in the coffee region of the Cordillera Central to purchase property for copper excavation. The owner is away at a political rally, and the wife, knowing nothing of her husband’s intention to sell, mistakes Brandt for Red Cross. Brandt goes along with this idea so as not to stir up trouble. But, the deeper Brandt becomes immersed in the lives of the people, the culture, the land, the more conflicted he is about his role. But, things aren’t what they seem, and in the end, it is Brandt who is deceived.
Chapters: |
 | THE BOY NEXT DOOR - Chapter 11 | rlvs | Novel | 2 | n/a | May 5, 2008 |
Summary:Something unknown lives in the swamp.Chapters: |
 | Other People's Secrets | annehobart | Novel | 8 | n/a | May 5, 2008 |
Summary:This is a story about a young woman entering an elite private college that is full of privileged people much younger, and the way that her first year goes terribly awry. Like everyone else I'd like honest and constructive feedback. Chapters: |
 | The Love Thing | Cecil_Roebuck | Novel | 2 | n/a | May 3, 2008 |
Summary:All I ask is that you read and enjoy.Chapters: |
 | Holy Water (OOB #8) | new_england | Short Story | 7 | 1.08 | May 3, 2008 |
Summary:When the reclusive Cathy is invited to a night out at the bar with the girls, she has an unusual adventure. Like all of the Old Orchard Beach collection, this vignette/story stands alone but is part of a group sharing common characters. For background on Cathy, see especially OOB #2 ("Cathy Who Walks with Ghosts") and, to a lesser extent, OOB #7 ("Fortune's Fool").
I'm looking for any criticism about what works and what does not before I launch into a rewrite of the entire collection this summer. Thanks.Chapters: |
 | Round the Bend | Dorothy Jane | Short Story | 7 | 1.69 | May 3, 2008 |
Summary:I read an article in the Daily Mail and this story came shortley after. I do that. Read horrifying news and then write stories. I should dig up the full quote which actually mentions the gov't lullaby department.Chapters: |
 | So long | hal clarendon | Short Story | 6 | 0.27 | May 2, 2008 |
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 | Brad Pitt Won't Leave Me Alone | hamann | Novel | 2 | n/a | May 2, 2008 |
Summary: Carol believes that after she began to write fan letters to Brad Pitt, that he began to communicate with her through his films. Carol is a mentally unbalanced, child-like hoot of a character with a number of delusions. She believes she is a femme fatale and a competent therapist. She has one pathetic client.
Just once in her life, Carol gains an opportunity for getting a grip on herself and achieving an acceptable position in society. She is hired as a child psychologist by Dreams Come True, a for-profit version of the Make a Wish Foundation.
Carol makes up a client and wangles a meeting with Brad Pitt. It doesn’t go well and true to the title, Carol tries to take out a restraining order. Carol’s encounter with success doesn’t last. Her attempt to fulfill a secret wish of a child client leads to the loss of her one adult client and her final loss of reality.
Chapters: |
 | 75 South | EricCPMartin | Novel | 2 | n/a | May 1, 2008 |
Summary:I've been writing professionally for four years as a journalist. 75 South is my first full novel. In the immediate aftermath of a double homicide, Daniel DeLion embarks on what is intended to be a quick motorcycle ride to clear his head that spirals into a thousand mile journey during which he internally debates his fate. I am having trouble with a few elements of development, and welcome all comments, critiques, praises, and slams.Chapters: |
 | Knight-Errant (OOB #7) | new_england | Short Story | 4 | 1.03 | Apr 30, 2008 |
Summary:A teenaged boy searches for a second chance after the first close encounter of his life with a beautiful girl who seemed out of his league, yet led him (almost) to the promised land. Can you go home again when "home" is a girl's body on a beach late at night? This vignette is the seventh in a series of related pieces, and although it can stand alone, reading #3 ("Trophy") will provide the background by detailing the encounter on the beach between young Skip and Clare.Chapters: |
 | Once Upon A Time Something Happened | Doinmybestatlast | Novel | 2 | n/a | Apr 30, 2008 |
Summary:A story of a lifetime of friendship in which three men share a childhood and eventually lead separate lives. Although wives and girlfriends, marriage and divorce, crime and careers, and drugs and alcohol find their way into their lives -their friendship grows ever stronger until it threatens everything they have strived for, even their own lives.
I'd like to dedicate this novel to the tnbw reviewers that helped me learn the craft, especially Ivey, Sonny, Angelinity and Mary. I would have never achieved the skills I have today if not for their reviews.Chapters: |