Content: young adult

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A young girl is reunited with her older brother, three years after he mysteriously disappeared.

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Aidan O’Rourke never dreams that talking to old Diggory Danaher will take him on an adventure of a lifetime. After months of stories about a mythical island and his father, Aidan decides to find out for himself if his father is alive and living as a panther on the mythical island. Stowaway wives, a lost father, bewitched human beings, a wicked witch, pirates, and friendly dragons combine to draw Aidan into a web of intrigue of good versus evil as he becomes the champion of a land that only exceptional men can reach. Aidan proves how exceptional he truly is through the power of faith and unconditional love. Set between sixteenth century Ireland and a timeless, mythical island kingdom called Draconis, King Satin’s Realm relates the saga of four generations of the O’Rourke family as they battle evil in a strange world after finding it in turmoil. The O’Rourkes seem to be called to this enchanted world to be its champions. However, not even a place of such mystery can quell the wanderlust born in the O’Rourke family. Feedback on dialogue, character development, readability, description, and appeal to the audience. Yes, the word is SATIN. I can spell; it is not Satan. This story is as much family saga as fantasy, but there is no family saga category

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Young adult fantasy. This is the first of a series of books which will span Ella’s years of training. She has been selected as a trainee to the Preases who are a group of powerful beings. They each possess an orb that grants them specific powers which they use to defend the earth’s dimensions. All of her dreams and nightmares are out there in some dimension that she may one day explore. The inhabitants are humans mixed with other beings from each of earth’s dimensions. During her training, her best friend is kidnapped and she sets out to rescue her. I would like to know if the story is interesting and any creative title ideas (I am at a loss for a good one). I would appreciate feedback any other comments that come to mind. I look forward to all constructive criticism! Thank you to everyone who took time to read this.

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Allison Lockhart moves to Danvers, the spooky New England hometown of the birth parents she never knew. She is immediately plagued by nightmares and an irksome suspicion that her estranged grandmother does not want her there. When Allison falls for a boy suspected of a heinous crime, she vows to help him clear his name, but soon discovers that in a town like Danvers, every family has its own secrets...including her own.

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This is a sequel to On a Wing and a Dare. High Meadow has been established for four years, and the herd of flying horses is thriving. High Meadow boasts two barns now, and has managed to hold an Aerial Games every year. Owain, groom to Emma's horse, Adain, is beset by nightmares from his past. He will have to deal with them before he can move forward to his own future.

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I would love some feedback on what you think of the story premise and whether you would be interested in reading this novel. Any and all feedback is appreciated. I welcome constructive criticism. Thank you in advance!

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Hailey and Beth were once best friends. Since Beth fell in love with a popular boy, she ditched Hailey for a taste of popularity. Hailey copes by listening to music, especially a band that her father is the lead singer of. All her life she's dreamt of meeting him, but her mother's sensitivity on the subject has prevented her from ever seeing him in concert. No one understands her need for music, until David. He's a bad boy that she spent all senior year avoiding, but when he starts to creep under her skin, she can't shake him. Soon, he becomes her best friend, even better than Beth ever was. He's the only one she can talk to about music and her dad. But he's made it clear that he wants to add 'benefits' to their friendship, without taking that step into a dating relationship; which is something she is opposed to, but tempted to fall into. Looking for whether this story is identifiable. Are the characters likeable? Can you feel the conflicts in Hailey's life? Is this something that you would recommend to a teenager? Adult?

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When Emma’s mother sends her to Wisconsin to live with an aunt, all she can think about is how much her mother hates her. Ever since her parents’ divorce, she’s taken her father’s side, and now she feels like she’s been replaced by her mother’s new baby. But even when she realizes how much her old friends held her back and how much better her life is in Wisconsin, she can’t resolve the relationship with her. Then when she starts dating Jordan, she realizes how much worse a family could be. Instead of worrying about her petty problems, she starts to grow up and see that there can be more than one side to things. With some startling revelations about her parents’ divorce, and one terrible night at Jordan’s house, Emma’s life up north will be something she never imagined it could be.

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The Richards' and Miller's have always lived across the street from each other, and have always gotten along. When Ella was ten, it all started going downhill. After all four of her sisters get pregnant with two Richards boys over the span of five years, Ella and Ryan are determined not to become like their elder siblings. But it would be so much easier if they didn't feel anything for each other. Just a few more months and she'll be off to college, and hopefully far away from town, and the Richards' boys. But can she last that long without repeating history?

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This is different for me, but I've always wanted to write something like this. Skylar Crandon is like any rebellious teenage boy, enjoying his youth. Then on his seventeenth birthday, everything in his world changes. His body has transformed, the world around him appears different, and no one is there to answer any questions. Until Eva. She knows what he is, and she offers answers if only he follows her to a secret underground group filled with others who are just like him. A vastly new world is presented to him, along with the knowledge that he could never go back to his normal life again. But he does have a choice. He can stay with people like him, and become what he was always meant to be, or he can live on the run in the world he doesn’t want to give up. He knows he’s never going to stay in a world he was so forcefully pushed into, but the more time he spends learning about them, and spending time with Eva, the more he realizes that his decision is going to impact more than just his life. I changed the rating to R because of graphic violence and the language that Skylar and Aaron use.

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Rose Schneider's quiet world is shattered one summer day when a friend rapes her. Discovering she is pregnant, Rose runs away to Chicago in an attempt to escape her small-town fate. A story of love and pain, set in the 1980's, it combines romance, drama, suspense, faith....all the stuff I love to read about myself! I'd love to get feedback on my voice, since it is in first person. The main character is 17 when the story starts, but is retelling it from an adult perspective. I'd like the book to appeal to young adults as well as adults. Descriptive words of your take on the "feel" of this novel would be much appreciated, ie., boring, mysterious, exciting, whatever....tell me what you really think while still being polite. Also, I reciprocate reviews for those who review my work. Thanks and enjoy!

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The afterlife, or the netherworld, or the great beyond...whatever you call it, has a group called The Foundation. They came together in a frenzy of yin/yang energy to review the world of the living teenager, and choose one to give a gift that would help him or her through his/her adolescence. The first recipient in the series is a teenager named Millie Mahoney. Her mother was murdered in 2005, and her father has turned to alcohol to deal with the loss. She is obsessed with words, so The Foundation decides that the most appropriate gift would involve those words--she can write things into existence. I'd like any kind of feedback, but the tense shifting is new to me, and the members of the Foundation are all from different points in history, so as far as how believable those characters are--that interests me as well. Thank you!

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Twelve women are dead! Now, a thirteenth is missing as an unpredictable serial killer stalks the usually small, peaceful town of Eau Bouease, Louisiana, in Lucky Thirteen, a suspense packed thriller coupled with a twist on the impact of love other than romantic love. From a small town in Mississippi, Larkin Sloan is a dedicated teacher who finds herself in a struggle for her life against a sadistic serial killer bent on ritualistic sacrifice. When she awakes chained to a bed by a mysterious man, Larkin realizes she is the thirteenth intended victim in a string of brutal slayings. As Larkin works to convince her captor to set her free, Detective Raiford “Ray��? Reynolds investigates twelve horrific murders. He becomes obsessed with finding the thirteenth victim before she becomes another statistic. Along with his partner, Special Agent Christine Milovich, he investigates the thirteenth disappearance of a woman who seems to have nothing in common with the other twelve victims and discovers the impact of love from a source he never knew existed. Captive, captor, and law enforcement join forces to defeat a sinister killer in a rollercoaster of intrigue, deception, and tumultuous relationships. Lucky Thirteen will keep readers on the edge of their seats anticipating the next turn of events. Feedback desired--whatever you think needs to be said. Strength of topic, dialogue, character development, etc.

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This is a story about some teenagers who head out on a camping trip over the weekend. They run into some other teens who they know from school and, together, they come upon the 'Valley of the Dry Bones' that one of them's dad had warned them about. This is a story of adventure, young love, teenage discovery, redemption, and salvation. This is my first writing, so let me have it! :) But, please be gentle, it is sort of my baby and has some meaning behind it. One thing I know, in particular, that I need help on is that I've never written fiction, so I'm not sure if the way I've done the dialogue is correct. Also, I know the language is a little stilted in places, but I wasn't sure how to shore it up. So, I am giving you my virgin draft and I will appreciate your thoughts, ideas, corrections, and advice. Thank you - Radley

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Working on another round of major revisions. I'm primarily changing the backstory and using the raven myths of the Scandinavian and Norse cultures as a basis. I've changed the names of many of the characters and am wondering if the slightly less common names are distracting.

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Fifteen-year-old Cate is fuming at the sucky ‘we r ova’ text from her loser ex when everyone around her suddenly freezes. Breathing, but still like statues. As she picks her jaw up off the ground, three teenagers appear out of nowhere. The trio are suspicious of Cate but decide to ignore her. One hoists a bus over his head while another safeguards the future leader of the free world. Their words, not hers. The third one disarms a bomb planted under Cate’s bus. Then after decapitating someone from the crowd they vanish. To avoid appearing insane Cate says nothing... to anyone. The teens show up at her school. No one is frozen this time, but everyone at school acts like they've know these strangers for ever. It’s like they’ve always been there. What the hell? When she accidently brings a dead cheerleader back to life, Cate discovers this weirdness is because she’s going to be a Timesurfer. In fact, she’s like the chosen one for Team Evil, who use their magical powers to manipulate history. She’ll have to fight against the other Timesurfers who protect history. Like Austin. One killer smile from him and she was hooked. If she joins him she’ll be stripped of her ability to raise the dead and sent back to her vanilla life. Doing the right thing and getting the super hot guy should make her decision easy. However, creating zombies and being important bad-ass sounds well... awesome. When the ultimate bad-boy, Jonah, arrives he starts pressing all Cate’s buttons. Team Evil is looking way more tempting than Cate could ever have imagined. I've have reposted chpt 1 to 3 for the strongest start competition with all the edits so they tie onto the end. Tess xx

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Greg knows changes are coming. Samantha has no clue. Soon they will meet and together they'll discover that their fates need major re-work! This is a YA fantasy with romance elements.

Thank you for reading . . .

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Young adult urban fantasy. There's something unusual about Christian, the new guy at school. As Jordan gets to know him better, and learns the reason he moved to her small town in the first place, she discovers that he is from the mysterious Celtic shadowland and that the magic of his world has brought the two of them together for a reason. Thanks to everyone who took time to read this. Your comments have been invaluable. I am rewriting, so if you read this before I'd appreciate hearing what you think about the changes I've made. As always I appreciate all feedback.

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Sequel to The Evolution of Janie. I always appreciate feedback of all types, however this is a sequel and it is written with the assumption that the reader has read The Evolution of Janie and is familiar with the characters and what has happened in the previous book, so when reviewing for content, character development and background story please take that into consideration. :)

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Feedback please! I respect the writers here, and I have thick skin. Every comment means so much to me! Thanks Justin

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Liz Bennett is unpopular, tomboyish sixteen year old who relishes her freedom outside of the in-crowd at Mitchellville Academy until two handsome young men enter her life--Trent Whitman, a charming new student who sees beyond her outward appearance, and Darcell Williams, a popular football player and son of a famous athlete whose seemingly arrogant ways alienates Liz from day one. When a series of lies and misreads forces Liz into enlightening confrontation with the truth about both guys, will she follow what she believes in her head or what she feels in her heart? Liz-Understanding, loosely based on the timeless classic, Pride and Prejudice, brings a timeless story to contemporary multicultural teens. This is my first ever attempt at writing YA. I have ZERO experience, just an idea for a story. Feedback on voice and whether it's truly suitable for YA would be very helpful. Have no experience with dealing with profanity in YA either so I'd love to hear any thoughts if you believe there's too much/too little. With that said, all constructive feedback is more than welcome. **very rough draft**

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The Old Souls is a story about the secret world of souls, and a couple of soul mates who take it all to the next level. I am seeking input about smoothing out the first chapter and about what genre to place it in. There are elements of sci-fi, romance, adventure, paranormal, etc. and I'm just not sure where to place it.

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What’s playing on your iPod? For sixteen-year old Grayson Grainger, it’s his father’s voice from beyond the grave, guiding his son to avenge his death. Months after his death, Grayson finds his dad's iPod and a connection is restored. Acting on the lyrics, he straps on his dad's firefighter gear and stops a petty crime, outsmarts a pushy jock and wins the heart of altar girl Evelyn. Grayson's medicated mom also takes comfort in the clergy, in the arms of a promiscuous priest with a lust for grieving widows. When the evil priest's affections turn to abuse, Grayson turns into Super G and realizes that not only are the lyrics controlling his fate, they're connecting his father's death to the priest. In the end, Grayson must decide between acting on his dad's final foreboding wish or listen to his own voice and seize his own destiny.

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Alexander is an orphan who's only desire is to find a family that will take him in and love him. He can't seem to get adopted though - no matter what he does. While he feels that no one wants him, he quickly learns that there is more to his mysterious past than he was lead to believe. Follow Alexander as he discovers his roots, learns of magic, and finds the other world from which he came. Oh, and everyone wants him, he just doesn't know it yet.

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***Updated on 4-22-2009 with edits. Thanks for all the feedback so far!** 19-year-old Diane Macauliffe's dreams are haunted by a walking, talking skeleton--and that's the least of her worries! First, she must survive basic training at Fort Devon's Army Base. With an inspection looming, she and fellow med-tech trainees Jack and Susie have been assigned clean-up duty in Devon's hospital morgue, which is rumored to be haunted. Jack comes up with a plan to smuggle in beer so that they can drink while they work, risking expulsion from the Army if they are caught. The three friends meet Edgar, a creepy janitor with a dark past who often lurks nearby. Edgar becomes trouble when he discovers what the young trainees--who have dubbed themselves "the morgue drinking club"--are up to. Is the morgue really haunted by ghosts, or merely by someone of flesh and blood who wants to keep them away? Diane must also face the thing she is most afraid of--the repressed memory of the way her father died. Along the way, she learns that she is not alone. After all, everyone's afraid of something; some of us are just better at hiding it than others. This is a young adult novel for readers ages 14 and up. I would like feedback on what works in this story and what doesn't, and how it could be made better. I think the characters are solid and I'm happy with the dialogue (however, please feel free to disagree--one agent commented that he thought the female characters sounded too old for 19, but I think their dialogue rings true. I'd be interested to learn what other writers think). I think the plot needs tightening, and I'm concerned that there may be too many times in the book where the characters are just talking--are these scenes boring? Also, I suspect that the plot may need more tension to drive it forward--maybe more creepy scenes with Edgar and Diane? Finally, does the plot go off on too many tangents? Any suggestions and feedback on these and other aspects of the book would be welcome.

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Thirteen-year-old Tyler Bradley is sent to stay in Moon Bay at his aunt and uncle's chip shop. Nothing in the antiquated seaside town is what he expected. The chip shop is decorated with strange symbols, there are gigantic, primeval birds nesting in the cliffs and, worst of all, he discovers a sad and horrible story attached to the gothic mansion at the tip of the headland. When Tyler meets skateboarder, Jenner, they join forces to get to the bottom of the mysteries permeating the town. The problem is working out just which townfolk are working for the agents of good and which are working for the agents of darkness. And in this confusing atmosphere, how does Tyler know he can trust his aunt and uncle, after all, their chip shop is called, Wish and Chips... This novel is intended for 10-14 year olds and I would value any feedback, thanks.

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I'd like any constructive edits, particularly ones that will help me pinpoint weaknesses and improve my writing. Also, I need feedback on the title. I love and hate it. What do you think?

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What makes a human, human? Are heroes born, bred, or created?

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