Content: young adult

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Andrew searches for a way to save his sister from death in the bleak Arizona refugee camp his family now calls home. I originally wrote this as a writing exercise--I'm putting it under "Novel" because I'm not sure if I want to leave it alone or expand on it at some point.

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Excerpt from the Young Adult Romance "Letters Never Sent": Dear Lord Fallon, I’m sure you’re wondering why you’ve received a personal letter bearing the royal crest, so I’ll get right to the point. When I stayed in your home, you knew me as Lily. In actuality, I am Princess Lylin, seventh daughter of His Majesty, King Forrester Milandaro. First allow me to apologize for my deceit. It was unfair of me to take advantage of your gracious hospitality without revealing myself, but let me assure you, I had no sinister intentions. I was only trying to safeguard myself in the best way I knew how. My fear of the unknown propelled me to hide my identity as a means of protection, not only for myself, but for my family as well. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had nothing to fear from you, but I didn’t know how to go about admitting the truth without ruining the friendship we had built. In addition, I did not wish to cause you any undo anxiety or discomfort in knowing that you harbored a member of the royal family. Please know that while I may have changed my name, I was utterly honest otherwise. I sought to tell you as much truth as possible and never lied for the sake of lying. I hold you in the very highest respect and cannot begin to express my gratitude for all that you did for me, for the excellent care and comfort that I received while in your company. Please accept my deepest gratitude. Yours, very gratefully, etc... Princess Lylin Milandaro “Lily”

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This is a new sci-fi series I'm working on. I'm planning as I write, so really have no idea where it is going to go. Any and all feedback or suggestions are welcome. :) Ang

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A 14-year-old girl running away from home unveils dark family secrets, while she struggles to save her life and her broyfriend's in a house haunted by her evil ancestors.

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A fairy girl deals with friendships, coming of age, bullying, drugs, sex, and her race's expectations.

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Born a lowly Settler, sixteen-year-old Wil isn't supposed to have the gift, but he does. Like the Great One himself, he can peep into the minds of those around him, probing every hidden thought. The gift has transformed his life, lifting him from a Settler's Camp to the Guardian Academy - an elite school where children like him learn how to use their power. He's been taught that Guardians are a force for good, charged with protecting the people of Neoden from the evil of selfish thought. But when he and his fellow cadets come under attack, those beliefs are shattered. Why would the Settlers he's been sent to protect want to kill him? When a voice from the past reaches out to him, he's forced to face a new and terrifying possibility: maybe powerful evil still exists in the world. And maybe he's becoming a part of it. I'm especially interested to hear whether or not the story, characters and dystopian world hook you. Is the world-building interesting or cliche? Same question for the main characters. Nits, of course, are always welcome! Thanks!

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Imagine an 11 year old girl, the daughter of a museum director, discovers the ability to go back in time to meet some of the greatest artist of the Renaissance. Now imagine the chaos she would create if she went back and they find out she's from the future. As for feedback- not too worried about nits. This is a rough draft. Unedited. Just looking for feedback on story, theme, plot, character development, over all flow, etc.

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All feedback encouraged and welcomed, there is always room for improvement. This is a project that started and would like to hear what people think. Enjoy :) ~~Melanie has to figure out how to survive in a world she had been sheltered from. A world that doesn’t know her kind exists. The family she loved and trusted lied to protect her and Emily. Now that they are gone and she only knows a fraction of what is happening. What she does know is she must protect her sister and herself from everyone and everything until she can put the pieces together. No matter the cost.~~

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My biggest struggle with this piece is the ending. Sometimes I like it, some times I don't, but I never love it the way I love the rest of the story. So all the feedback in the world would be fantastic and I would appreciate it being completely honest.

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Alexander is an orphan who's only desire is to find a family that will take him in and love him. He can't seem to get adopted though - no matter what he does. While he feels that no one wants him, he quickly learns that there is more to his mysterious past than he was lead to believe. Follow Alexander as he discovers his roots, learns of magic, and finds the other world from which he came. Oh, and everyone wants him, he just doesn't know it yet.

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A horror story for your enjoyment short and sweet..... Will leave my questions to you readers at the end. Edited: 11/11/12

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When happy-go-lucky Allison Lockhart inherits an old Victorian mansion from her estranged grandmother, she wasn’t expecting to spend her senior year of high school in Danvers, the spooky little New England town that was once the home of the birth parents she never knew. Allison struggles to fit in at a new school as she tries to unravel the mystery of her parents’ death. When she falls for a boy suspected of a heinous crime, she soon learns that in a town with a history this deep, every family has its own secrets…including her own.

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*Although this is book 2 of A Touched Trilogy it is a stand alone novel, and can be read without having read book 1 (Lie to Me) Everyone thinks Lily has the easy gift. Who wouldn't love being able to heal people with just a touch? But all that pain, anger, and hurt has to go somewhere, and she's the one taking it all in. When someone close to her dies, Lily's life spins out of control and she clings to her friend Micah. As she falls for Micah, she forgets that while healing others is easy, healing herself is much harder.

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Young Adult fantasy. Liam's Quest, Annwn Book II, is the sequel to Errant Knight. It's been two weeks since Tian and Jordan's wedding. The threat of the black death weighs heavy on everyone's mind, especially Liam's, as he searches for the last stone in the prophecy. Thanks to everyone for all their encouragement and support.

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Princess Ariella is caught between the expectations of her family and the love she finds with a common boy. All feedback welcome. If ANYTHING doesn't seem awesome, please say so. I've written so many different versions of the beginning that it's hard for me to know what works anymore. Please be extra critical. As a side note. This is not historical fiction. It takes place in a made up place and an unspecific time.

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Hello, This is actually the second book in a series, I already published the first book Guardians Inc.:The Cypher, (which back in 2008 was called Twilight Inc., the first chapters are in NBW... somewhere...) Anyway,this is the second book. It has a lot of backstory on purpose which is kind of the thing I would like to see how it works with someone who has not read Cypher. (((BTW if anyone wants to get the first one just email me julian.rosado@guardiansinc.com and I'll be more than happy to send you The Cypher in ebook, mobi or PDF.))) SO... The THUNDERSWORD Blurb............. The search for the Book of Concord is on the brink of failure. Thomas can’t move without being followed by the Azure Guard, and the balance between Magic and Technology has begun to shift giving Magical creatures a stronger hold in our world. With new enemies arising and old alliances breaking up, Guardians Incorporated needs an urgent victory or the seven thousand year old plan will fail and a new Dark Age will engulf the world. But just as Thomas begins to discover the inner workings of Guardians Inc. and his place as a Cypher, he also finds out that not everything is as he thought inside the company and that the worst enemy might be the one lurking within. Cheers! Julian

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Aidan O’Rourke never dreams that talking to old Diggory Danaher will take him on an adventure of a lifetime. After months of stories about a mythical island and his father, Aidan decides to find out for himself if his father is alive and living as a panther on the mythical island. Stowaway wives, a lost father, bewitched human beings, a wicked witch, pirates, and friendly dragons combine to draw Aidan into a web of intrigue of good versus evil as he becomes the champion of a land that only exceptional men can reach. Aidan proves how exceptional he truly is through the power of faith and unconditional love. Set between sixteenth century Ireland and a timeless, mythical island kingdom called Draconis, King Satin’s Realm relates the saga of four generations of the O’Rourke family as they battle evil in a strange world after finding it in turmoil. The O’Rourkes seem to be called to this enchanted world to be its champions. However, not even a place of such mystery can quell the wanderlust born in the O’Rourke family. Feedback on dialogue, character development, readability, description, and appeal to the audience. Yes, the word is SATIN. I can spell; it is not Satan. This story is as much family saga as fantasy, but there is no family saga category. King Satin's Realm is the first in a series of four books, which will span 600 years in the lives of The Clan O'Rourke and the unbreakable connection of mind and spirit to the dragons of Draconis. This is the first novel I ever wrote in 2000. It has sat on the self and is now ready to sprout wings and soar. This story was my salvation at the darkest point of my life. Enjoy.

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Fifteen-year-old Cate is fuming at the sucky ‘we r ova’ text from her loser ex when everyone around her suddenly freezes. Breathing, but still like statues. Then three teenagers appear out of nowhere. One hoists a bus over his head while another safeguards the future leader of the free world. Their words, not hers. The third one disarms a bomb planted under Cate’s bus. After decapitating the a guy who's only crime was to move, they vanish. Cate says nothing...to anyone. She has too much to lose. The teens show up at her school. No one is frozen this time, but everyone at school acts like they've know these strangers forever. It’s like they’ve always been there. What the hell?

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A young girl is reunited with her older brother, three years after he mysteriously disappeared.

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Aidan O’Rourke never dreams that talking to old Diggory Danaher will take him on an adventure of a lifetime. After months of stories about a mythical island and his father, Aidan decides to find out for himself if his father is alive and living as a panther on the mythical island. Stowaway wives, a lost father, bewitched human beings, a wicked witch, pirates, and friendly dragons combine to draw Aidan into a web of intrigue of good versus evil as he becomes the champion of a land that only exceptional men can reach. Aidan proves how exceptional he truly is through the power of faith and unconditional love. Set between sixteenth century Ireland and a timeless, mythical island kingdom called Draconis, King Satin’s Realm relates the saga of four generations of the O’Rourke family as they battle evil in a strange world after finding it in turmoil. The O’Rourkes seem to be called to this enchanted world to be its champions. However, not even a place of such mystery can quell the wanderlust born in the O’Rourke family. Feedback on dialogue, character development, readability, description, and appeal to the audience. Yes, the word is SATIN. I can spell; it is not Satan. This story is as much family saga as fantasy, but there is no family saga category. Editing as of 10/2012

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Hailey and Beth were once best friends. Since Beth fell in love with a popular boy, she ditched Hailey for a taste of popularity. Hailey copes by listening to music, especially a band that her father is the lead singer of. All her life she's dreamt of meeting him, but her mother's sensitivity on the subject has prevented her from ever seeing him in concert. No one understands her need for music, until David. He's a bad boy that she spent all senior year avoiding, but when he starts to creep under her skin, she can't shake him. Soon, he becomes her best friend, even better than Beth ever was. He's the only one she can talk to about music and her dad. But he's made it clear that he wants to add 'benefits' to their friendship, without taking that step into a dating relationship; which is something she is opposed to, but tempted to fall into. Looking for whether this story is identifiable. Are the characters likeable? Can you feel the conflicts in Hailey's life? Is this something that you would recommend to a teenager? Adult?

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When Emma’s mother sends her to Wisconsin to live with an aunt, all she can think about is how much her mother hates her. Ever since her parents’ divorce, she’s taken her father’s side, and now she feels like she’s been replaced by her mother’s new baby. But even when she realizes how much her old friends held her back and how much better her life is in Wisconsin, she can’t resolve the relationship with her. Then when she starts dating Jordan, she realizes how much worse a family could be. Instead of worrying about her petty problems, she starts to grow up and see that there can be more than one side to things. With some startling revelations about her parents’ divorce, and one terrible night at Jordan’s house, Emma’s life up north will be something she never imagined it could be.

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The Richards' and Miller's have always lived across the street from each other, and have always gotten along. When Ella was ten, it all started going downhill. After all four of her sisters get pregnant with two Richards boys over the span of five years, Ella and Ryan are determined not to become like their elder siblings. But it would be so much easier if they didn't feel anything for each other. Just a few more months and she'll be off to college, and hopefully far away from town, and the Richards' boys. But can she last that long without repeating history?

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This is different for me, but I've always wanted to write something like this. Skylar Crandon is like any rebellious teenage boy, enjoying his youth. Then on his seventeenth birthday, everything in his world changes. His body has transformed, the world around him appears different, and no one is there to answer any questions. Until Eva. She knows what he is, and she offers answers if only he follows her to a secret underground group filled with others who are just like him. A vastly new world is presented to him, along with the knowledge that he could never go back to his normal life again. But he does have a choice. He can stay with people like him, and become what he was always meant to be, or he can live on the run in the world he doesn’t want to give up. He knows he’s never going to stay in a world he was so forcefully pushed into, but the more time he spends learning about them, and spending time with Eva, the more he realizes that his decision is going to impact more than just his life. I changed the rating to R because of graphic violence and the language that Skylar and Aaron use.

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Rose Schneider's quiet world is shattered one summer day when a friend rapes her. Discovering she is pregnant, Rose runs away to Chicago in an attempt to escape her small-town fate. A story of love and pain, set in the 1980's, it combines romance, drama, suspense, faith....all the stuff I love to read about myself! I'd love to get feedback on my voice, since it is in first person. The main character is 17 when the story starts, but is retelling it from an adult perspective. I'd like the book to appeal to young adults as well as adults. Descriptive words of your take on the "feel" of this novel would be much appreciated, ie., boring, mysterious, exciting, whatever....tell me what you really think while still being polite. Also, I reciprocate reviews for those who review my work. Thanks and enjoy!

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This is a story about some teenagers who head out on a camping trip over the weekend. They run into some other teens who they know from school and, together, they come upon the 'Valley of the Dry Bones' that one of them's dad had warned them about. This is a story of adventure, young love, teenage discovery, redemption, and salvation. This is my first writing, so let me have it! :) But, please be gentle, it is sort of my baby and has some meaning behind it. One thing I know, in particular, that I need help on is that I've never written fiction, so I'm not sure if the way I've done the dialogue is correct. Also, I know the language is a little stilted in places, but I wasn't sure how to shore it up. So, I am giving you my virgin draft and I will appreciate your thoughts, ideas, corrections, and advice. Thank you - Radley

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Working on another round of major revisions. I'm primarily changing the backstory and using the raven myths of the Scandinavian and Norse cultures as a basis. I've changed the names of many of the characters and am wondering if the slightly less common names are distracting.

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Young adult urban fantasy. There's something unusual about Christian, the new guy at school. As Jordan gets to know him better, and learns the reason he moved to her small town in the first place, she discovers that he is from the mysterious Celtic shadowland and that the magic of his world has brought the two of them together for a reason. Thanks to everyone who took time to read this. Your comments have been invaluable. As always I appreciate all feedback.

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Sequel to The Evolution of Janie. I always appreciate feedback of all types, however this is a sequel and it is written with the assumption that the reader has read The Evolution of Janie and is familiar with the characters and what has happened in the previous book, so when reviewing for content, character development and background story please take that into consideration. :)

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Feedback please! I respect the writers here, and I have thick skin. Every comment means so much to me! Thanks Justin

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Liz Bennett is unpopular, tomboyish sixteen year old who relishes her freedom outside of the in-crowd at Mitchellville Academy until two handsome young men enter her life--Trent Whitman, a charming new student who sees beyond her outward appearance, and Darcell Williams, a popular football player and son of a famous athlete whose seemingly arrogant ways alienates Liz from day one. When a series of lies and misreads forces Liz into enlightening confrontation with the truth about both guys, will she follow what she believes in her head or what she feels in her heart? Liz-Understanding, loosely based on the timeless classic, Pride and Prejudice, brings a timeless story to contemporary multicultural teens. This is my first ever attempt at writing YA. I have ZERO experience, just an idea for a story. Feedback on voice and whether it's truly suitable for YA would be very helpful. Have no experience with dealing with profanity in YA either so I'd love to hear any thoughts if you believe there's too much/too little. With that said, all constructive feedback is more than welcome. **very rough draft**

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The Old Souls is a story about the secret world of souls, and a couple of soul mates who take it all to the next level. I am seeking input about smoothing out the first chapter and about what genre to place it in. There are elements of sci-fi, romance, adventure, paranormal, etc. and I'm just not sure where to place it.

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***Updated on 4-22-2009 with edits. Thanks for all the feedback so far!** 19-year-old Diane Macauliffe's dreams are haunted by a walking, talking skeleton--and that's the least of her worries! First, she must survive basic training at Fort Devon's Army Base. With an inspection looming, she and fellow med-tech trainees Jack and Susie have been assigned clean-up duty in Devon's hospital morgue, which is rumored to be haunted. Jack comes up with a plan to smuggle in beer so that they can drink while they work, risking expulsion from the Army if they are caught. The three friends meet Edgar, a creepy janitor with a dark past who often lurks nearby. Edgar becomes trouble when he discovers what the young trainees--who have dubbed themselves "the morgue drinking club"--are up to. Is the morgue really haunted by ghosts, or merely by someone of flesh and blood who wants to keep them away? Diane must also face the thing she is most afraid of--the repressed memory of the way her father died. Along the way, she learns that she is not alone. After all, everyone's afraid of something; some of us are just better at hiding it than others. This is a young adult novel for readers ages 14 and up. I would like feedback on what works in this story and what doesn't, and how it could be made better. I think the characters are solid and I'm happy with the dialogue (however, please feel free to disagree--one agent commented that he thought the female characters sounded too old for 19, but I think their dialogue rings true. I'd be interested to learn what other writers think). I think the plot needs tightening, and I'm concerned that there may be too many times in the book where the characters are just talking--are these scenes boring? Also, I suspect that the plot may need more tension to drive it forward--maybe more creepy scenes with Edgar and Diane? Finally, does the plot go off on too many tangents? Any suggestions and feedback on these and other aspects of the book would be welcome.

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Thirteen-year-old Tyler Bradley is sent to stay in Moon Bay at his aunt and uncle's chip shop. Nothing in the antiquated seaside town is what he expected. The chip shop is decorated with strange symbols, there are gigantic, primeval birds nesting in the cliffs and, worst of all, he discovers a sad and horrible story attached to the gothic mansion at the tip of the headland. When Tyler meets skateboarder, Jenner, they join forces to get to the bottom of the mysteries permeating the town. The problem is working out just which townfolk are working for the agents of good and which are working for the agents of darkness. And in this confusing atmosphere, how does Tyler know he can trust his aunt and uncle, after all, their chip shop is called, Wish and Chips... This novel is intended for 10-14 year olds and I would value any feedback, thanks.

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How dangerous could an assistant librarian job be? Thomas is a regular 15 year old when he accompanies his grandfather on a job hunt. Not only he gets the job his grandfather wanted, he also becomes the center of a struggle that takes place between science and magic every 500 years. Twilight Inc. is intended for the teenage market. All comments appreciated especially about grammar since I really suck at it. Spanish is my first language so I struggle at english sometimes, especially punctuation and autocorrect software will only take me so far. I have a thick skin so you can take it apart if it needs it. Saludos! Julian

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I'd like any constructive edits, particularly ones that will help me pinpoint weaknesses and improve my writing. Also, I need feedback on the title. I love and hate it. What do you think?

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What makes a human, human? Are heroes born, bred, or created?

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