Content: war

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For whatever reason, I started thinking this morning about "The Little Engine That Could." That, for some inexplicable reason spawned this poem. ----- Safety in numbers may not mean anything anymore. Innocence of heart risks annihilation. A tiny red button, pushed by any number of wanton countries could forever change the way we see things.

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Well... Here's the long awaited (hah) second half of my post apocalyptic story Ashen. The main character sets out on his journey across the desolate planet as an immortal. Let me know what you think of his thoughts on being immortal and his choices. I wrote this half and the first half quite some time apart so I'm not sure how well they'll fit. Have fun :)

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Summary: This story is about Anna Ryan who dies and goes to Heaven, and finds that it is a lot different than what she expected. I chose humor for the category, but it also includes social commentary from an iconoclastic point of view. It is from a largely "Christian" point of view, but have included many other spiritual and religious factions as they seem to fit in with American society. If you are deeply religious, you likely won't appreciate this story - so avoid it. I'd like feedback on structure and mechanics. I have edited this six or seven times, but you know how difficult it is to edit your own stuff. Please point out the areas I need to focus on. Oh, and most important, your reaction to the story is also appreciated. I wrote this story sometime after the ethnic cleansing of the Serbia-Croatian war which really hacked me off, as does war in general. The complete story is two chapters. Changes have been made that reflect the comments of reviewers

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Here is the beginning of my story. Which for some of you that have been reading will get a better understanding of the route of the story. ***Please let me know if it makes sense, if the dialogue fits the time period etc.***

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Entry for the sports essay. Any suggestions for improvement appreciated. I've made some minor changes and added new material. Particularly interested in the flow after changes. Thanks.

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This letter recently came into my possession. I hope you enjoy.

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This week, the war in Iraq officially ended. What of this war-torn land? How might we react were our land the battleground? Many probably have answers. For some of us, there remain only questions.

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I volunteer at a VA hospital. I also interview vets for the Veterans History Project at the Library of Congress. This is a brief meditation on the horrors of war.

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The media lens that continually bombards our eyes and ears with the wars, hunger, disease, and dishonesty imbues our sense of freedom and survival with a rather daunting image. To imagine another point of view, becomes necessary at times.

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Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated if that is, you haven't listen to my warning in the title.

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A warrior humorist. Does this work for you as a short story? Any comments welcomed.

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open verse remembering Viet Nam any feedback welcome

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A sweeping tale that takes the reader from the mountains of the Southwest to the war-torn coast of Vietnam, and finally to New England. As a lonely teenager Gary meets Kristina Preston, the most stunning girl he has ever seen, and has no idea that his life will be forever changed. We follow Gary’s journey through life-altering twists of fortune that fling him from familiar worlds into others that are unknown and have unpredictable consequences. Along the way, there is adventure, drama, love, loss, sadness, revelations, unexpected events, the growth of wisdom and understanding, and many personal and social changes between the late 1950s, the 1960s, the 1970s, as well as glimpses of Gary's life in the early 2000s. I would appreciate feedback about your overall degree of interest in the story, as well as any other comments that come to mind. Thanks.

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What's the purpose of this war, anyway? Why are we fighting it? Who's the enemy supposed to be? This is a story I originally wrote while a patient in the Naval Hospital in Charleston, South Carolina in 1969. I dusted it off in the mid 70's and after reworking it a bit, sent it in to the address in one of those ads you used to find in the back pages of magazines headlined something like "Do you think you have writing talent?". They told me I was a rank amateur but if I would just send them a fistfull of money they would enroll me in their course named "How to Write Good" or something of that nature. So I just thought I would submit it on this site and see what other people think.

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This is a poem I wrote back in '07 which was later turned into a song...

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White Swan is a story of intrigue, subterfuge, desperation, hope, and finality launched on an epic front. With the world on the edge, will it be the billions of half-starved zealots that win over the unpredictability of the West, or will it be technical know how that overwhelms an impregnable nation? You will be taken behind the scenes to witness first hand the evil that is wrought by a power hungry few; from the cold desperation of Beijing, to the ruthless reactions in Washington. Great leaders are unveiled, and mediocre bureaucrats become lions as the clock ticks quickly down to mass confrontation; and possible nuclear annihilation. White Swan takes you inside the workings of the White House as the American President schemes to overcome the Congressional power that is demanding a withdrawal of all American forces from Vietnam, then it transports you inside the inner most sanctum of the Communist world, where old men dictate the future of billions; driven by fear, they force a hand that will upset the balance of power throughout the world. In between the power centers of two nations lay the men and women who will do the dying . . . they who will write their story in blood over a thousand hills and valleys. White Swan is the Vietnam War the way it should have been fought . . . and won.

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Some things NEVER change. For instance, Dick Cheney came out with his book called In My Time. A couple of better titles might have been On Your Dime or About My Crimes. The following is the summary from when this was originally posted three years ago. Today I watched Dick Cheney give an interview. Martha Raddadtz, the ABC News Chief White House Correspondent and author of "The Long Road Home" interviewed the Vice-President. After listening to his response to the actual first statement about the war in Iraq and watching his smirk, I wondered how the rest of the interview would have gone if I had given it. My research was minimal. It's satire born of rage.

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A supernatural tree in a secluded valley is discovered by the Tierra Tribe. The tree produces a healing fruit, but only after joining with the Tree Woman. The tribe is split and goes to war over whether the Tree Woman should be venerated or vilified.

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Kyra Dernea is the outsider of the tiny town Meidad since her parents found her in an offerings basket to the Gods. She has lived in constant distress that her unique gift for conjuring electricity will upset the suspicious town to an uproar, and now her worst fears have come to pass. I'm looking for grammatical errors and also concept issues--I want to know if something is confusing, even if you can't explain why. Thanks!

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I do not want this to be corny so be very hard on me. This is a theme I tend to write a lot on and I truly don't know why. I am haunted by the pain our vets have suffered down through all the wars. I have witnessed the destruction of families and friends trying to understand what they cannot nor will they ever be able to.

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This is a plot synopsis in 3 acts. Does it work? Are there big holes? I've been handwritting this, so should I bother to type it up or not? Any suggestions, esp. with names, are politly requested. Thank you, Mike McCoy

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In 2157 sentient non humans fight for emancipation.

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The days are gone when the morning alarms were the gun shots. But the world War 2 Veteran opens his mind and goes back in time. They say all is fair in Love and War. But he learns that love is only fare thing the GOD has created in this world. Feedback: All kind of feedbacks are welcomed

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I originally wrote this a year ago, and got a LOT of facts wrong. So I've tried to go back and clean up the facts. I think I lost the power of the story, though. So, let me know if it has any power left, if you feel sorry for my protagonist, and can accept why he drinks.

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For ten years I've watched the PBS News Hour name off the war dead at the end of the show. Just kids, some of them die dreaming of a future that never comes. To grow a beard is a manly thing that lets you feel your oats and it gives one a new perspective of self... but some will never know this simple thing that is part of a man's life.

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This is based on a similar incident involving people I knew in the sixties. All suggestions and opinions for improvement are welcome and appreciated.

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This is a piece I have struggled with and in no way is at all adequate to express my heartfelt feeling for veterans. During my stay on this site,my words have been misunderstood. I know myself .. my heart .. my soul I am at peace with that. I hate war. My guts twist in pain due to the horror it deals out to those who fight. I judge war.. I do not judge warriors. This piece is for all veterans who war haunts them day in and day out. I have something that haunts me day in and day out. So perhaps I understand the tiniest bit but in not way am I saying I understand the walk of a military man or woman

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All feedback welcome.

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This is a subject that has haunted me since I was a small girl with two uncles in the Korean War. One who slept with a gun under his pillow so we had to be careful waking him. He would break out in a sweat and moan. Most likely reliving. Which is worse? Dying on a battlefield or the walking dying who live each day on the battlefield they left so long ago. What are the 'trues reasons man goes off to battle?' I would thing they are varied but I would venture they had no clue what they were getting into. Nor did they truly understand who and why they were killing. To question your government was simply not done. Those who did lived in fear and isolation. I have seen the walking dead. On street corners, silent in wheel chairs unable to meat the eyes of the onlookers. For what will he or she see? Disgust? Pity? Any true understanding how devastated these souls are and how for some, death would have been kinder. There is no way I can understand nor fully see into the heart and life of one at war. I can't. But I do recognize the horror when I see it reflected and the total lack of life in blank staring eyes who long ago gave up the will to get anyone to understand.

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A little history, all feedback appreciated

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This is a very English tale of Arch, a soldier horribly disfigured on the Western Front during World War One. His wife, Pithy, though still loving the man who is returned to her in such a sorry state, finds him physically repulsive. Eventually, Arch begins to visit a local prostitute and she becomes, in a strange way, his mentor and chief support, enabling him to regain a level of confidence and self-respect. The first chapter is 7,000 words long so I've had to cut it abruptly. I'm looking for general feedback... Thanks in advance! Keen

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The Year of the Monkey sizzles every headline on the planet as Ho Chi Minh's Tet Offensive tears through the consciousness of America. While the battle for the country rages up and down the countryside at places like Hue, Con Thien, Lang Vei, Khe Sahn, and the Rockpile, two Marines use their daring to create a special reconnaissance force to change the future of their Corps. With long-range reconnaissance critical at this crucial juncture of the war, American units are sustaining devastating losses amongst their elite LRRP teams. South Vietnam is a country being ripped apart by the ambitions of its neighbors and the corruptive nature of its leaders; a place where ethnic hatred fans the flames of war, this time with the security of the United States of America as the ultimate threat. Caught up in the rising storm of a country in dangerous transition, Team Deuce is the eyes and ears of a Corps of Marines being drawn inexorably into a war it cannot win

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Those who have watched the category change a few times, my apologies - I'm not sure where this fits in because it is *not* my story. I have not yet editted this so that it is an African-American piece. But it came to me this afternoon, and I wanted to put it down before I lost it. Fact is, there are a lot of things technically wrong with this piece. The Quartmaster Corps are actually morticians! Also, it is short. I will be expanding on it eventually. For now, just rip it apart. And whatever you tell me, I will fix.

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Wrote this early today as a draft for a competition. The criteria is 300 words max and the theme is music. Was wondering if it works generally, as an idea, and if there's anything I can do to improve it. All comments will be gratefully received! Many thanks, Keen

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After one or two more posting I will be leaving this site for many months. This site returned to me my desire to write and my life even. I have over 100 Reviews that I will take with me and I will look for you all when I return. I want to thank you all for making me a better writer. I leave you with the following poem. Your thoughts will be cherished.

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Iudaea follows a Roman cavalry officer as he is pulled from his assignment patrolling Hadrian's Wall in Britannia to the hills of Iudaea where a Jewish rebellion rages. The story reveals the Roman world of the 2nd century and the events surrounding the epic Bar Kokhba Revolt while showing one man's struggle to reconcile his responsibilities as a soldier, a husband, and a father. While this story is easily classified as historical fiction I've tried to write something that transcends time and space and illuminates man's character in the shadow of cataclysmic events.

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An observation on how a not so hot real time in history has become a recreational activity. No offense intended to RF participants, just a thought. Comments welcome.

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This is an attempt to portray my view of a homeless vet. I can only hope I do him justice. I don't want it to sound sappy or cliche so do your job and let me have it if I didn't capture this with the honor due. I see these men all the time in Seattle and surrounding towns. What works? What doesn't? I will rework this until it is worthy.

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Called to duty in Operation Desert Shield/Storm, Sand is the memoir of Marine Scout Chad Parson. Leaving no scar unscratched, Chad delves deeply into his experiences in battle during the Gulf War and beyond, the camaraderie’s he found in one of that war’s most heroic and yet unsung platoons, and how nineteen years later he still hasn’t really come home.

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I have always been interested in the First World War and, like all wars, the long-term damage it left in its trail. Even though it eventually came to an end there were many who had to live with its consequences. Have I achieved getting this across? And does the story generally read well? Any improvements you can think of? Cheers, Keen

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Short poem written at the death of a comrade, later read at Uncle's funeral, a WWII veteran.

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Feedback welcomed

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I tweaked this bit to improve on the structure. It is an erratic piece of verse but intentional. Let me know if this should be kept as I’m cutting away my dribble from my best work…….

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This is the tale of Lily, a young woman who has her own war to deal with while her husband is fighting on the Western Front. It is in honour of all the women who kept the homefires burning (I think this is more of a Second World War term but it suits the subject). The spelling is British and I would welcome any feedback, thanks.

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*************PLEASE TAKE NOTE, THIS HAS BEEN ABANDONED FOR THE RE-WRITE******************* (I have performed a major rewrite and changed the title.) This novel involves three lives caught up in the miserable web of slavery. Desperation and vengeance drive the three main characters: Alain Gravois, the son of a fisherman living in Nantes, France, struggles to become his own man; Osawe, a warrior, living in a small village situated between two warring kingdoms along the 'slave coast' of Africa, struggles to survive; and Assad, a moor, and military man, is betrayed by an empire that is being torn apart. France, the 'slave coast' of Africa, Morocco and Haiti are the backdrop to their story which spans twenty-three years, 1727 to 1750. All criticism is welcome.

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This novel takes place in the mid to late 1970's in the US and Japan. Bill Sanford is a young CPA working for the Tennessee Fried Chicken Corporation. He was brought up as a Foreign Service brat and had spent three years in Japan and four years in Europe. He had dreams of an international career but, his wife would have no part of it.// Ray Easton, TFC's Regional VP, Far East, is a cunning scoundrel and consummate liar. Ray is a master of insider trading of stock, and spreads the wealth to gain favors. He has always stayed one step ahead of the law.// Inoue San is an executive with one of Japan's major trading companies. He was a war hero who had been captured on Saipan and learned English from a U.S. Marine Officer. He launches a plot to bring a major U.S. fast food company into the Japanese market, relying on a high school chum who runs the Osaka Yakuza (mafia) to establish a chain of industrial espionage.// Strategic Planning is taking corporate America by storm. TFC'S CEO has caught the bug. He brings in a hot shot to produce and lead a corporate-wide strategic planning initiative. Resistance to strategic planning and the new hot shot builds, and the corporate politics accelerate, with battle lines being drawn.// Japan has been through post war reconstruction and is becoming a world class economic power. Some of its former military leaders are determined to achieve economically, what they failed to accomplish militarily.// Two trading company giants, Mitsugawa and Sawamura, become embroiled in a struggle for dominance of the exploding, western style, fast food market.// The cultural differences between Japan and the U.S. complicate matters for both sides. The inner workings of Corporate America and Japan are revealed in all their successes, but also, their corruption and greed.// Personal conflicts and deep seated vendettas, some originating during World War II, unfold.// Seduction and love affairs are an integral part of the plot. They illustrate the differences in social views of sexuality between the East and West.// Industrial espionage involving two highly competitive U.S. fast food companies, two Japanese Zaibatsu and the Japanese underworld unfolds.// Many of the key characters were involved in WWII and their individual experiences influence their business behavior.// Cultural differences subtly emerge, and the exploitation of others to achieve one's ends is front and center.// Personal ethics, or the lack there of, and the constant tug between good and evil are interspersed throughout.

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Does duty preclude a young girl coming of age? Where is the line drawn between common sense and public opinion? Feedback welcome

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This is a story of a family and what war does to it.

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Chapter 1 of A Lazy Incompetent Life records the birth and pre-school life of the "hero" in Rosewood and Coolangatta/Kirra in south-east Queensland, Australia. It also records the political, economic and social environment which he knew - with increasing sensitivity - up to and including 1927. Later chapters recall the narrator's experiences in World War Two, in love and marriage, in career and in illness and health.

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I posted this nearly two years ago. Since then, my Uncle Jimmy has fought off cancer for the third time. I thought about him and others like him on this particular day. D-Day.

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I would love some general feedback on this very short story please! Thank you.

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A poem about the thing foremost in the minds of soldiers who served in VietNam. Still a popular theme for the young warriors in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of our favorite songs during VietNam was Merle Haggards "Silver Wings" and the mournful refrain... Silver wings shinning in the sunlight, roaring engines headed somewhere in flight. Their taking you away, leaving me lonley, silver wings slowly fading out of sight. His was a ballad of lost love but the words took on a special meaning to young soldiers as their buddies also were taken away...

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Inspired by the Civil War and the emotional impact felt by both sides. This is my first posting and looking for any type of feedback.

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IF YOU'RE JUST STARTING THIS NOVEL, PLEASE GO TO THE ORIGINAL POSTING --ECHOSIS--AS THE FINAL DRAFT IS BEING CONTINUED THERE. IF YOU'VE NOT COMPLETED THE 17 CHAPTERS HERE, GO TO THE ORIGINAL, AS THE REDUX CHAPTERS HAVE BEEN POSTED THERE, AND FROM 17 ON, ALL REVISED CHAPTERS WILL CONTINUE WITH THAT LISTING. THANK YOU.

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This is a story about Cruncher, a Marine thought dead in Vietnam, who goes on a private mission for the woman he loves but ends up fighting with a rag-tag band of soldiers in the famous battle of Hue.

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Children... Innocence.....Questions..... Promises.. Mockery Answers? Why?... Man's Need to block realities with beliefs?

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This is the story of the Fortners, who rise from the ashes of the Civil War to become major landholders in the wilderness of Florida. Loosely based on the lives of my great-grandparents, George and Dorothy Fortner, it's the story of men and women making the transition from war to peace, facing tragedy and loss with love and passion as they discover what it takes to turn an American dream into reality. I'm reposting this because crazeesharon asked what happened to this story. Thanks for taking an interest in this story.

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Any comments you have are quite welcome. This is a very personal piece. Although it is written in first person, it is not about me, per se. But, the experiences and the emotions were taken form my personal experiences in Vietnam. I hope I have adequately conveyed the emotions I felt as I wrote this. It is written in my normal straight-forward, simple rhyming (AABB) format. Thanks in advance for having taken the time to read this.

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A Message From Those Who Died In One War To Those Who Are Dying Today. The futility of war and power of greed.

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A woman about to commit a savage act of war in the name of religion....a dark comparison to the seamingly routine dressing of a woman.

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