Content: vampire

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Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated if that is, you haven't listen to my warning in the title.

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So close to eighteen Ariana Log can't wait to reap the benefits of being an adult, getting away from her alcholic mother is the number one plan but she gets the ball rolling sooner than she expected to. With new ground under her feet and a world of unknown in front of her she begins her journey with a bang of surprises and a bite of adventure.

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This story is in it's rough draft phase. As people review, I will be editing and improving. All criticism is welcome and will be considered. I would like to also know what you think of the storyline, and if it is piquing your interest enough to keep reading more. The first three chapters introduce you to the main characters and some supporting roles. The setting is painted, and the foundations of the plot laid. Fox is an orphan, and has lived in foster care most of her life. A mysterious man has showed up at the facility she stays at, and claims to be a vampire. What he offers starts a new chapter in her life, but will she be ready for what is about to come? Friends, enemies, and new experiences are just the start. Her life will be forever changed, and she will come face to face with dangers she never could have imagined.

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This is the start of a novel I've had in my head for awhile, I am looking for feedback!!Especially when it comes to the title and of course story line, I have placed this as a Restricted rated novel but I'm not sure if it should be...I know at the beginning its not much but the story does get much more adult content wise, please let me know if I should change the rating as we go along!! Thanks in advance to everyone!!

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HORROR-HUMOR-CRIME-MYSTERY-THRILLER I published this story to site for Halloween Contest a month back. Did some revision and re-posted for Halloween fun. I did publish this to: The Fringe (September), Strange Tales (Anthology) and the November issue of eFiction Magazine. The characters are all in early twenties, except Bernie (42) and it seemed to appeal to readers in their early 20's , based on publishers confirmation words and the nature/genre of publications. This is a chapter from my currently workshop-ed novel here on TNBW, The Thatcher Head (Chapter 25). I revised chapter to make it more short-story-able.

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Feedback please

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Siera begins to fear her life when those around her start to die. The detective on the case is floundering and falling for the person he is trying to protect. Can he solve the case before the vampire killer decides to claim his ultimate prize? It's my first draft of the novel (placing it up as i go), so it can be quiet rough. I'm hoping to get the main concepts and plot down and then develop it more, especially with your comments :). I would love feedback in all regards to this story, including any suggestions on where i can improve to make this story more catchy, faster, better character development, or generally better, please let me know! I generally suck at grammar etc so any tips on things i am doing wrong or could be improved are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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In a modern era where magic is as real as technology, black magic is a more potent threat to civilization than terrorism or rogue nations. I'm interested in receiving advice on word choice, phrasing, story flow, plot decisions, and anything else the reader can think of that will improve the story.

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