Content: satire

Summary:

Letter for a computer to hand to a 10 year old computer doctor, on being admitted to a Computer Hospital. * * * Aussie slang: Field day - a great time!!! A term used mostly by ageing Australian grannies, who were around when the Field Day was the only source of entertainment for those living on country properties ("ranches" for the Americans LOL) A Field Day was an agricultural show/fair, where farm machinery was displayed, chemical companies (now desperately going organic)talked to their clients, and fruit and vegie packaging companies took their orders for the next financial year. Sometimes an animal nursery was provided for the rugrats accompanying parents and grandparents. This was to prevent them killing themselves by climbing on Combine Harvesters, falling off and thereby blowing the organising committee's public liability payments.

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In this country, whenever a public official is caught behaving immorally and/or illegally, he is duty-bound (after many hours of soul-searching) to appear before the press to answer the scurrilous charges made against him. He—these miscreants invariably possess a Y chromosome—stands before a battery of microphones explaining his actions and promising never to repeat them while simultaneously denying he ever committed them in the first place. Standing beside and slightly behind this feckless office holder is his wife. Her head is held high, her expression is benign. She gazes up at her errant husband with a brave, though sometimes tearful smile, and nods agreeably when he loudly proclaims his innocence. She frowns ever so slightly when he decries those who have slandered, entrapped, or otherwise persecuted him. By sharing the dais with this loathsome individual, she subjects herself to absolute humiliation before the entire world. Why?

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I have revised the original posting of "In a Pig's IQ," taking into consideration the original reviews. It is slightly longer than the original.

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I'm going to have to start wearing blinders. I'm now writing terrible poetry about everything that catches my eye.

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'He was listening to Mozart as he operated on me.'

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This bit of silliness was inspired by my year and a half stint as a wrangler of teen addicts and one of my daughter's high school friends.

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We're six years into the 21st century and guys, it sucks to be you. There are lots of reasons why and Starbuck MacIntyre has a lot to say about it. Want to reclaim your masculinity? Tired of women trying to change you? Sick of psycho ex-girlfriends who call you when you're gettin' some with someone else? Got a girlfriend who reads chick-lit and who might be addicted to "Sex and the City?" This read is for you!

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