Content: relationships

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Synopsis - In Celia Reynolds eyes, life is perfect. She has a wonderful loving family including a sister that is her best friend. Her career is skyrocketing and she has more male admirers than she can keep up with. Then, her world is shattered when her sister Gabi takes her own life. As she questions her sister’s suicide and peels back the layers of her ideal life, she realizes that life is not perfect nor is it meant to be. Her journey of self discovery takes her from an elegant 20th floor apartment in New York City to Washington, DC and the Islands of South Carolina. Along the way she learns a family secret that forces her to see her self and her sister in a different light - all with help from some unlikely sources - an orangutan named Nikkee and a Voodoo Priestess named Mira. *** Requests - All I can ask for is honest feedback. Give it to me straight ; ).

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I'm on an abuse kick...not sure why, seems to be an interesting topic these days.

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Although this is not related to my friends, I know that it is someone's. Domestic Violence is a serious issue.

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Open to any feedback

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A summer at camp provide the backdrop for a child overcoming his fear of heights and at the same time finding friends where there weren't any before.

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I'm re-posting this poem because I can now reveal the inspiration and the context. What got me started was hearing from our friend Modobenny a couple of weeks back how she'd been treated by her agent.

She's now posted her experience on the Forum - to read her cautionary tale, go to Member Announcements and look for When the dream is dead ....

I've tried to make the poem work at several levels - but one is a message to fellow-writers. Let's not dance for a bone.

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Shortened to < 500 words.

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In this very short story, a retired tax accountant rages against the iniquities of life. Any feedback very welcome.

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Ayareli (A.K.A. Sabrielle, then Taryn) and Sabarain move with their parents from Merienneth to High Meadow. They become adults in a world of winged horses and conspiracy where they must learn what fires their passion and what tempers it. Their parents, Jol and Carren, must balance dreams and family. I'm looking for feedback on the theme of balancing the duties and pleasures of your life. All four of my main characters need to learn how to do that or risk losing their family. Are you getting that? Is it too subtle? too obvious?

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Celeste and Mark are reformed problem children, but are too similar in temperament to make their connection work.
They recognize this, but can't resist the strong attraction between them. Despite Mark's attempts to avoid entanglement, he can't help himself, and danger follows them despite their intentions of staying out of trouble.
Can Mark resist his efforts to bend Celeste to his will and can she accept his love without losing herself in the process?

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Sometimes something you wrote sticks with you...not because it was good, but because you felt it could've been better. The feedback helped, but I didn't truncate the poem as suggested, instead making edits to improve the imagery and make my point stronger. At least those were my objectives.

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Judd is a handsome, well-built forty-eight year old with only a couple problems. As a part-time actor, part-time electrician and part-time father, he always has to watch his money. He also has a few health problems and can't afford health insurance. But the rest of his life is fine. He likes what he does for a living, and there's never a shortage of female companionship - especially because of a married 'old friend' who's perpetually separated but never quite divorced. If only a few things got straightened out, he'd be in heaven. First, his agent needs to send him out enough to get some serious bookings. Then the mother of his little girl could finally find some happiness and stop making things so difficult for him to see Blossom. And then there's Elena - almost two years of flirtation and nothing to show for it. Maybe he'll just have to accept that she'll always be the one that got away. This is the first time I've posted something that's unfinished, but I'm eager for input on the first chapter before I continue.

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A middle aged teacher's life changes dramatically after she is cyber bullied and has to lose weight for health reasons. I have edited the chapter and re-posted it. I hope the formatting is better this time.

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She's naked and cold so she needs green fire.

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An evening with an exotic dancer and private clients.

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A prose poem. No meter, rhyme scheme. Just capitalization, metaphor and image. Not saying whether this really happened. Just so you know.

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Where do you turn when you've turned all the way around? What do you do when you spend your whole life preparing for a world that doesn't seem to exist. The answer seems to be found in just three rusty nails. Chew it up spit it out tell me what you think! Thanks M

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The strange girl found on the side of the road in Bartelsville, her memory gone, has more connection to the town than she knows. Lainey Monaghan, the one who found her and her eventual friend and protector,tries to help her piece her life back together even as her own life becomes tumultuous after her ex-husband makes a reappearance.

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This kind of took off. Please help me with feedback. I almost feel I could get more from this...

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This is rhiannon on Rhiannon expanded; as suggested. It has an ending, is either more truthful or it is not. Remember when I tell you anything about this story that "I am Lying Now."

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I've just drafted this short story for a competition about Whitby Abbey in North Yorkshire, England. I would really value some general feedback and please note that the spelling is UK spelling so may seem a little weird in places. Many thanks...

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Gloria grows up with a facination for spending time in a cupola. All feedback welcome.

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Lily Basken enjoys her life. She goes to yoga classes three times a week, meditates every morning, tends her garden, loves her husband, and enjoys the fact that her children have finally left the nest. Life is good...until the phone call from her mother-inn-law, Estelle. She needs a place to stay for a few days, and Lily is it. But Lily can handle it. Lily can handle anything, except maybe a thorough cleansing.

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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I'm reworking this novel, which was written for the Romantic Suspense Genre. I'm trying to keep the suspense going. I also want to deepen the characters and show more of their responses.
THOUGHTS ARE NO LONGER IN ITALICS. IT GURGLE-FURGLES MY POSTINGS (DOUBLES UP EACH PARAGRAPH AFTER THE ITALICS).
Is there enough intrigue to keep you interested?
I know people need points for posting, but please, DO NOT LEAVE ME A DRIVE-BY REVIEW. I NEVER do drive-by reviews, so I don't appreciate them. Thank you.
Some Patois is included in the language.
All currency is Jamaican dollars - Exchange rate is US$1.00:$J90.00

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A woman sees a stranger every day on her way to work and fantasizes about a friendship with her.

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"I Know You By Heart" takes an extended family through the death of its matriarch and then through the formalities of the mourning period. This premise seems very mundane I suspect, but no doubt you know from experience, that no mourning period for anyone, or any family is like any other. All members of all families have unfinished business, hidden scandals, fearful secrets that create unwitting behavior. Each character provides harsh but horribly true information revealed for the first time. In “I Know You by Heart,” all of these elements float about uncontrolled and the family appears to run amok. As adults, we have learned that reasonably responsible people often respond to crisis in irrational ways. This particular family grieves, begrudges, punishes and begins to love again over time.

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The B.I.B. is a different type of Super Hero. She is a single mom struggling with the changes that occur in her life as her power emerge; wondering how to keep her powers secret, how to best use them, dealing with the sexual challenges created by having super powers. Image what saving a crippled airliner at high speed would do to your hair. Imagine all those who would love to use you for their ends. Then imagine finding out that your not the only one. The journey tests her self image, her morality, her strength, her priorities, and along the way creates a good deal of humor.

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Amongst the humans live people with talents; people like the Knowledgeables. A small percentage of the population are Special People, and only a small percentage of them ever become aware of their gifts. In a world where races such as Hunter-Seekers, Wingsmen, Curets, Tick-Tocks, and DeathWatchers mingle with the human population, only the uncooperative and stubborn Knowledgeables truly know how these gifts can be used to rule the world. A combination dark fantasy, thriller and present-day character/relationship-driven story.

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“Irish twins” is a slang description of two children born to the same mother within twelve months. Some consider it a highly offensive term.

The origin isn’t certain, but it is a distinctly American term referring to Irish-American families. It's suspected roots date back to the 1800’s Potato Famine era, when approximately one million Irish came to North America. They often arrived penniless and were considered uncultured, uneducated and dirty—a pox on good society. Unskilled workers who made as little as eight cents a day back in Ireland could earn a dollar a day in America. This caused resentment from American workers fearful of losing jobs and being undercut by the Irish. In Eastern cities such as New York and Boston, signs reading “Irish Need Not Apply” sprung up in store windows. Several derogatory terms followed. For example, “Irish confetti” for thrown bricks and “Irish kiss” for a slap. Irish twins fits into this vernacular.

The term Irish Twins mocks the fertility of Irish Catholic families and their disdain for practicing birth control methods, while failing to plan ahead or control themselves sexually. It also may suggest that the Irish didn’t understand the true medical definition of twins, or two children conceived and born together.

Like the parents of twins or other multiples, parents who have Irish twins face the challenges of having two young children at one time. As the children grow up, parents encounter the difficulties of medical and extracurricular activity expenses, and the simultaneous payment of college tuition fees. On the positive side, since the space between Irish twins is so small, it intensifies the sibling bond, and Irish twins often end up being very close and affectionate with one other.

Or not.

This is the life story of Irish Twins, Jennifer and Catherine, also known as Jenny and Caylie. Close as children, their relationship begins to fall apart when their parents abandon them at the ages of 17 and 18. They work at finding their way back to one another, developing an even stronger bond as adults. And then shortly after their mother dies, they veer off in opposite directions. Their mother, Anne, who was also an Irish Twin, is the behind-the-scenes soul of this tale. Although she has passed away, she is ever present in the ongoing lives of her daughters. She keeps watch over Jenny and Caylie as well as her three additional children, and through her we learn a lot about life. And about death. This is a first draft and I'm experimenting with format. I welcome all feedback to see what works and what doesn't.

ATTENTION: If you're new to this story, please begin with chapter 1. THANK YOU.

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Gioia (Joy-ah) got Karl Baron’s attention. She’s hot, young and gorgeous, a perfect match for movie star royalty like Karl, but is he willing to wait in line with all the men in Gioia’s colorful life? With her first screenplay ready to roll, Gioia travels to her grandparent’s hometown in Sicily. All the problems she left there twelve years ago, come back to haunt her. And some new troubles follow her there.

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I decided to try flash fiction using only 50 words.

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There was a prophecy; one of the death of a people, the death of a planet and the one chosen who would come and correct it all, Kete Atto is it and doesn't want to be. This is my first attempt at writing a novel and I hope the tag line will make you want to read on. I am looking forward to the criticism. I want it to be great and only other writers can help me learn. My book is finished now for the real work. I need help finding the telling not showing, POV, and grammatical. I'd like to know if the concept works and what it needs to draw you in. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.

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PAUL WEEKES knows all about poverty, after a harsh childhood spent raising both himself and his younger cousin Mark, who refuses to grow up. He now runs a farm on the island of Xantrope, cultivating ground provisions and marijuana for export, because he refuses to risk a return to the poverty of his past. Things get complicated when the corrupt police officer who facilitates Paul decides he wants a bigger cut of the illicit business. Worse, Mark is involved in a murder and a hit-and-run accident involving the police officer’s niece. Paul has his hands full coping with danger from Mark’s associates, orchestrated attempts to hijack his goods, keeping himself alive and pursuing a romantic interest. ******For want of somewhere else to put this, I've termed it Other. It can best be described as Romantic Suspense.

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It's ironic that one of my favorite bands Bush has the same name as one of my least favorite people. I managed to overcome my aversion to the name long enough to write this story which came to me while listening to a Bush song.

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For some unknown reason, women feel they must drop hints as to the gifts they would like to receive from men. The poem is a silly take on how this ritual does NOT work!

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Rhiannon, prodigal daughter of the king of New Fairy, has suffered a terrible curse. Having humiliated a witch, she must suffer a unique shame--she must go naked, regardless of the weather or social situation. These are the stories of how she reclaims her dignity and fights the evil of men, and her own inner conflicts. Many of these are more light hearted than Rhiannon's Ordeal, and show Rhiannon in the heroic capacity that emerged in her post-curse life. Rhiannon's relationship with Rosalyn is more ambiguous--at least to Rhiannon; I don't think the reader was ever fooled. There are other differences, but I don't think that should matter to the reader. Rhiannon's still her dear, sweet, naked self.

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