Content: philosophy

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First posting. What is the matter of truth. Love to see what you think.

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WHAT KISS DESERVES TO BE TRADEMARKED? You'll find out in this literate, comedic, romantic, aphoristic, ten-years-in-the-writing, sci-fi thriller. Only the first page is posted below, since that's all I need feedback on at the moment. I'm mostly interesting in sentence-level commentary, not global suggestions. Which lines catch your eye, for better or worse, and why? I put a lot of pressure on sentences to provide immediate pleasure to the readers, not just the accumulative thrill of character and plot development. Novels are often mostly empty space, wasting their readers' time by deferring pleasure through over-focus on plot and character development. Sentences, though, can provide immediate pleasure--as evidenced in "money lines," those beautifully struck sentences that, even in the best of writers, can be found only a few times a chapter. Novelists can do more to thrill immediately by putting more energy into sentences. You'll see what I mean in the brief descriptions of the main characters below (copied from the novel's opening chapters). If lines like these appeal to you, you'll enjoy the rest of it . . . because the texts is filled with 'em. :-) Maya Lyon: "Maya smiled, her face a feature-rich Brazilian package of calligraphic piercings, lash-black hair, museum-quality aquamarine eyes, and unretouched asymmetrical scars." Hannah Mays "[Hannah's clothes] were mostly shot up and torn off, leaving her body on full topographic display. Her muscles were ornate and well-detailed, a variable geography of curves and cables and shadowed cross-cuts that made regular bodies look like tube arms hanging from an egg foundation." Poor Tom: "Just sitting, [Tom] was a few amputations shy of sharing the circle Da Vinci drew around the Ventruvian Man; standing, Tom made Michelangelo's statuesque David appear like a previous species of underfed teen; and in both positions, his hands were notable, large enough to palm a liter of water and, of late, having been all over her." ----- As mentioned, I'm mostly interesting in sentence-level commentary, not global suggestions. Which lines catch your eye, for better or worse, and why? THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR COMMENTARY! ~john

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This is a political protest piece designed to wake up the subconsience mind of the reader. To have the reader always questioning the status quo. I really would like to get the honest feedback of what type effect it brought apon the reader if any.

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On this site there is a serious thinker and author who constantly challenges us to dig deep into the nature of humanity and the cosmos. He has given me many hours spent in the contemplation of these mysteries. This little poem is the shallow outcome of some of that heavy thinking. Thank you O.R. Comments welcome.

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On a recent morning I was sitting near the river with coffee in hand earnestly trying to study a book by Heidegger and these lines came into my head. Comments welcome.

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On my walk today I wondered about all the great men and women who had original ideas and this idea literally unrolled into my head very much as it appears here. The force was with me writing as Obi Wan then the evil side invaded my mind and I lost control, or was it visa-versa?

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This came out of a personal thought of mine I've often, well, thought. As a history major, my goal was to make the 'now' of things real to my students. So often history can be presented in such a dead way that it's dismissed as a boring roster of dates or a list of memorized names of all the losing vice-presidential candidates in American history (I had to do that once in college...urk!) But, for me, history is made of an ever-flowing series of now's, each as real, as vital, as present to its livers and my now is to me. Sometimes I feel an awareness of the presence of all nows and that's what I wanted to capture in this poem.

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Found an old textbook, History of Modern Philosophy, while cleaning out a closet. Spent some time chewing the fat with a couple of the boys while I waited for clothes to dry. They helped me with this little poem.

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This is my first attempt at poetry in years...I welcome even the most fundamental advice. Interesting that my search for a new and better computer would inspire a poem. It got me thinking how computers capture our senses, attention and time...until they stop working so well, and we start looking at that hot new model that works so much better. The comparison with the dirty old man dumping his old girl for a sweet young thing was too much to resist.

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This is my very first post. I very seldom write poetry. When I do, it is simple and straight forward. "Turning" is a quick and simplistic look at the various roles we play in the chapters of our lives. As our roles change, we must turn the page and start a new chapter. This started out as a lyric to a song. But, I found it better suited as a poem than as a lyric. For those of you who do not know, I am a songwriter and musician. As far as feedback, I'd like to hear any comments of any sort about this. Is it confusing, out of order, etc? From a technical POV, I'm am fairly illiterate about writing poetry. I simply write what comes to mind. Novels are my strength. But, I kind of like this piece. Thanks in advance!

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Anything a'tall....

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