Content: marriage

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A New York City couple are in their apartment on a rainy Sunday afternoon when the crossword puzzle leads to an exchange of some very cross words. All feedback welcome but particularly looking for comments on flow, pace of dialogue. Also whether theme of piece is too obvious.

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It’s amazing how complexity can often be summed up in a cliff note.

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This is my entry for a story contest (mentioned in the Forums) based on the theme "Inner Workings." It's 4K words and complete in this postings. All input appreciated.

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A 7.3K story.A man, his wife, their daughter, and a bad boyfriend. How's the pace, characterization, ending? did you enjoy the story? All input appreciated.

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A man, his wife, their daughter, and a bad boyfriend. How's the pace, characterization, the ending. Did you enjoy the story? All input appreciated.

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Beale's way of playing life and love catches up with him, but this time he skates through.

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This is a 5K word story written for a themed contest from the e-zine called On the Premises; winner gets small cash prize plus publication. The story must have a theme related to TIME. Required length 1K to 5K; deadline Sept 28th. See their site onthepremises.com for details. Appreciate any input on pace, characterization, if the story is entertaining or not. Many thanks.

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I am so tired of the Gay Marriage Debate. But even more than that, I am tired of my fellow Christians giving Christendom a black eye. Again. There are a few lines here you might find glib. I did write it with a somewhat humorous slant. All nits/tense correction/what I can do with myself and my opinion/spell checks welcome. Thank you for reading.

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Thanks to reviewers of the originally posted piece. I've incorporated some of your suggestions, namely by placing more emphasis on the MC's personal struggles and deleting most references to historic events. Still has to be about 600 words though for flash ficiton! I'm now at 638...

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NPR's prompt for round 8 is the first line of this story. There are eight rounds, so I'll probably post 8 pieces of very short fiction (approximately 600 words) here for feedback. Thanks to Sara Basrai for opening up the discussion of racism in her recent poems, stories and in the forum. Question: Can the lyrics form a song be used a a title (paraphrased) of a story? Thinking of the Moody Blues lyrics: "Something, calls to me, The trees are drawing me near, I've got to find out why? Those gentle voices I hear, explain it all with a sigh."

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George doesn't find change easy and especially following his wife's hospital appointment. This was just a fun exercise as I haven't written anything for a few months, enjoying a break to get on with the admin side of my work rather than the creative. Any feedback would be welcome and thanks in advance, Keen

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Two poems, "Dumpstered" by Odin Roark and "Wedding Song" by David Lehman (partially quoted below), sent me on a path of thinking about the same subject. This poem is at least a partial result of that process. Comments always welcome.

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An observation made while on a recent journey. Traveling somehow sharpens my attention to the world around me. Miss Emily's line came to me as this episode concluded. Comments welcome.

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Understanding our lives sometimes requires study outside of the usual places. Recent reading prompted these thoughts. Comments welcome.

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A woman receives a shock at her husband's funeral. This is a 7K story posted in two parts due to posting length limitations, but is really best read with no break. I'm interested in pace, does it keep you reading, and in reaction to the MC and conclusion. All input much appreciated.

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A woman receives a shock at her husband's funeral. This is a 7K story posted in two parts due to posting length limitations, but is really best read with no break. I'm interested in pace, does it keep you reading, and in reaction to the MC and conclusion. All input much appreciated.

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My take on a Faustian love story that I wrote for a little girl who loves fairy tales. This is my first installment in a series of short stories I am writing.

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Gary Thomas wanted to buy a house, but one house he looked at had too many memories attached. This story might be a little dated, now, but I enjoyed writing it even though it was written several years ago. Actually it is not a story, per se, but more of a reminiscence by a character featured in another story that was part of an unfinished novel.

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A 5K word story, mostly in dialogue. Two couples in a strange restaurant. Particularly interested in what you think of the style and general tone of the story. Did it interest, entertain you? Candid input appreciated.

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A little stream of consciousness poem for today. Comments welcome.

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A woman's new year gets off to a very bad start. This is a 9K word story posted in two parts due to word count limitations on posting. But it is a single story with no real divisions. How's the pace? How do you respond to the characters? All input appreciated.

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An old story that, on re-reading, I can see needs lots of improvement. If you have any thoughts on what I can do to make it more edgy I'll welcome your suggestions. Thanks in advance, UK English as always. Cheers, Keen

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Charisse finally has it “all�?: an adoring fiancé, a great job, a dream car, and a McMansion. Her former bum magnet status has also left her with a heaping entrée of fear of commitment served with a large side of wedding jitters. Even worse, her family is pushing her to reconcile with her "sperm donor," an estranged father with whom she’s never had more than a casual relationship, and invite him to the wedding. Her jitters are sent into hyper drive when she discovers Prince Charming has some major chinks in his armor and she’s not sure if she can go through with the wedding. Unfortunately, time to thaw her frozen feet and decide if Mr. Right Now is Mr. Right Forever isn’t on the schedule, as a series of unfortunate events sends a slew of drama-filled family and friends—including a mother on the run from the police, a jilted best friend, and a father diagnosed with cancer who she’d vowed to alienate—to be couped up with her at Chez Charisse for the two weeks before the ceremony that might not happen. Can Charisse survive the two weeks with her relationship, family, and sanity intact? ***This is a slightly less rough first draft. Shorter chapters with new information added, so you may want to start reading from Chapter 1. Still needs work but does the story line work? Are the chapter hooks effective? How is the dialogue? Does the shift in POV work? If you had a problem with anything, please let me know. All feedback welcome.

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It's an old story. Comments welcome.

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This is my third attempt to tell this story. I have added a lot more back story and a lot more descriptive language. I'm hoping that I got it right this time. All critique welcome, but I admit that I'm a bit fragile at this point, so please find something to like before you hack it to bits.

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Those of you who saw the first version may barely recognize this one. I made it more true to who I am, a non-believer. And I think I added the rawness that everyone said was missing. This is something I hope to publish, so go ahead and rip it to shreds.

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Say whatever comes to mind, short or long. I'd love to hear from you. Just fill the rest with x'es. X x x x x with each x as a word.

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A story about two brothers, a woman, and love and sacrifice. Is the story enjoyable and engaging? How's the pace? Any frank feedback appreciated.

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An unhappy man commits an act of cruelty. Do you enjoy the story, does it hold your interest? Candid input appreciated.

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A story of two marriages and two deaths. Is it clear? do you think readers will have trouble following it? The structure is a little tricky. Be frank, please.

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A dark farce. Two women in a crowded restaurant discuss their marital problems. A lot of intermingling of dialogue, rapid scene shifting. Do you think it works? BTW, based on reviews of my other stories I've been more careful re: over tagging of dialogue, author intrusion. I think I've improved on that. Candid input, please.

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This is just some erotic writing I did for my wife's pleasure and would like some feedback before I submit some other erotica I have written.

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Chapter 1 of A Lazy Incompetent Life records the birth and pre-school life of the "hero" in Rosewood and Coolangatta/Kirra in south-east Queensland, Australia. It also records the political, economic and social environment which he knew - with increasing sensitivity - up to and including 1927. Later chapters recall the narrator's experiences in World War Two, in love and marriage, in career and in illness and health.

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This is the third installment of the story of my marriage and the struggles I am going through to help salvage it. In this installment I discuss where we are three months into the process.

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This is the story about an overly fussy woman who eventually gets what she deserves. I would like to know if it makes an enjoyable read and whether there is anything preventing it from flowing as well as it could. I'm from the UK so please forgive the different spelling. Cheers!

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This is the second piece in a series about the break down of my marriage. I anticipate a few more essays in this series. I would love to get feedback on the personal nature of this memoir.

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This is the story of the struggles I am going through with my marriage after thinking everything was fine.

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A first attempt at the 'Romance' genre. Successful? All comments welcome.

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"I can resist everything but temptation"

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This is my attempt at a villanelle in iambic tetrameter. I know nothing about poetry, so I hope I got this right. This rigid poetry consists of 19 lines: 5 tercets and 1 quatrain. The 1st line of the 1st tercet has to be the last of the 2nd and 4th. The last line of the 1st tercet has to be the last of the 3rd and 5th. Then those two repeated lines have to end the quatrain. The rhyming structure is basically like a stack of Oreos, all the chocolate cookies have to rhyme, and all the cream filling has to rhyme. And at the very bottom is an extra chocolate piece. :)

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