Content: humor

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A prominent cat is murdered in a world of talking animals.

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There are many reasons for writing poetry. This may be one of the more common. Comments welcome.

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Hi TNBW group! I've been working really hard at getting this story clean and tight, and I know that there is more I can do. I'm currently starting to edit and rewrite some things, along with adding more detail. I'm hoping to get some good feedback on what's working, what's not, etc. I'll take it all, the good the bad and the ugly. I will return reviews as well. Thanks again everyone. Cate

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I wrote this for my creative writing class. Assignment: Write a dialogue between you and the critical voice in your head. Give the voice a name. Discuss your writing life with the critical voice; argue with it. Format the piece like a play.

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I am looking for three key areas of feedback. 1. Is the story funny? 2. Is the language too graphic? 3. How do I market this type of book?

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In consideration of the Greatest Sports Moment contest, here is a light-hearted look into the future at what might become the greatest sports moment.

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OK! I am facing some scary tests so buck up mates and tolerate me! Serious poetry? Come on! No! But if I laugh while writing it .... you just might laugh while reading it and if you don't...???? Pretend! Jesus people, I am old! I need ... I need.. "What about Flo?"

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Summary: This story is about Anna Ryan who dies and goes to Heaven, and finds that it is a lot different than what she expected. I chose humor for the category, but it also includes social commentary from an iconoclastic point of view. It is from a largely "Christian" point of view, but have included many other spiritual and religious factions as they seem to fit in with American society. If you are deeply religious, you likely won't appreciate this story - so avoid it. I'd like feedback on structure and mechanics. I have edited this six or seven times, but you know how difficult it is to edit your own stuff. Please point out the areas I need to focus on. Oh, and most important, your reaction to the story is also appreciated. I wrote this story sometime after the ethnic cleansing of the Serbia-Croatian war which really hacked me off, as does war in general. The complete story is two chapters. Changes have been made that reflect the comments of reviewers

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This is an anthology of folklore and humorus short stories that come from the American Mid-West. These are the stories parents and grandparents tell their children. They are stories the old guys who hang around the barber shop tell. Some have a moral, some are just for entertainment. Some are based on actual events and some are just made up. These stories are seldom written down and die out in three or four generations. The stories in this collection are stories I believe to be worth saving. These stories can be read in any order.

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THERE ARE SPOILERS IN THE REVIEWS. If you don't want to know what's coming, don't read them. Martin's name has been changed to Roland, just trying to cut down on all the "M" names. For feedback, anything!! Does it keep your interest? Do you care about the characters? Like? Dislike? Trust? Mistrust? Are you finding a few laughs along the way? I'm in the process of fixing the TIME LINE - holler if you see stuff I might not know about, but bear in mind, right now it's a mess. All feedback welcome and very much appreciated. Thank you in advance for reading.

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I posted the first 18 chapters of this book back in 2008. But I am reposting it in its entirety as I have undertaken a significant rewrite of the book. Cash register, PI, takes the job of finding the missing wife of a very strange, little mystic. The mystic thinks the Spirits of the Great Beyond have take her to punish her. As Cash tackles this unusual case, he has to deal with his mother, who is convinced she is a reincarnation of Annie Oakley; his ditzy receptionist; a too-old-for-her-age eleven year-old daughter; an ex-wife and a budding romance. And don't forget the arrogant clown and the green-haired punk rock musician. The humor is a bit over-the-top in places, but I intended it that way...just so you know! Please feel free to comment and/or critique as you choose to. All feedback is helpful. Thanks so much for taking time to read this. Alan

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I felt like sharing my short story that was published with my friends on TNBW. I am now free to market it to other venues and am considering sending it to some women's magazines. We see so much about the success of internet dating, but I wonder how many experiences are more like mine.

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Sitting at the table with a laptop can be a trip through time, and one's own secret fears. It made me smile. Hope I bring a smile to you, too. As always, all feedback welcome, needed and appreciated.

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This was just a quick little poem that came to me as I was reviewing other poets works, and is in no way asking for reviews, it just seemed to fit my state of mind at the time I wrote it and made me wonder if others at times feel this way, but I wanted to add a touch of humor to the whole reviewing experience. The ending of the poem mentions 5 stars but just as a point of reference. and not as a plead for a 5 star rating.

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This is a story about the time in March 2007 that four tornadoes converged on my parent's farm and the destruction, devastation, trauma, loss, and sorrow it brought to our family. It is also about the sense of hope, help, growth, triumph, strength, family, friends, faith, and community that came along with it. There's even a weird sort of humor thrown in here and there . . . I hope you enjoy it. Unfortunately, due to the number of natural disasters we have going on in our country (and the world over)in recent years, it is a story we share with too many others . . .

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I'm just practicing my writing here. But with all the tornados that have hit Missouri and other regions in the past few years, I think this is a story worth telling . . .

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What some people might do looking for love.

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This is a little Halloween story I wrote for my writing group. It's just for fun, but as I'm relatively new to writing I'd appreciate any feedback anyone may have.

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Just having fun with crime writers. flo has to have fun once in awhile as a child at child. Actually think growth was stunted at age ten. Any and all feedback except serious! ha

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Didn't know how to classify this. You can tell how desperate I am to post something! :) As the title says, simply observation. Any and all feedback is appreciated. Hopefully a smile or two.

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A man reflects on the benefits of just having had a stroke.

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Recounting my first date. Does it bring a chuckle to you? Does it make you smile?

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A nightmarish memory, sad, but true. Does the story make you laugh even a little?

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More Beth & Stanley

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I originally wrote two pieces for my book involving a dog’s rant, and a cat’s response. I hadn’t planed on bringing them back, until now. I have used my Beth and Stanley’s as the spine that holds the book together. I think I can spread the animals out as well. As usual, everyone’s comments are appreciated.

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A character that may be in all of us or none of us finally comes to terms. Feedback most welcome. .

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Beth and Stanley, number twenty five. Book’s getting close to completion! As always feedback is appreciated.

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This story was cut from the body of a larger story, reworked somewhat, and now exists anew as an independent story on its own.

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I need 20,000 more words to finish my book. So I’ll be work shopping some more Beth and Stanley, and a boatload of other shorts. As usual, all feedback appreciated.

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Hope this generates a smile or two. Familiar territory about strained in-law relationships. All comments are appreciated.

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‡‡‡ HUMOR-SCIENCE FICTION ‡‡‡ THANKS! ¬¬¬¬¬ måx¬¬¬¬

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Just an observation from somewhere specific!!! haaaa Ron.. if you read this.. Watching the battle for the bird feeder! My interpretation of what I saw.

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This is actually a play that i have written. It is to bring awareness to such issues as domestic violence and alcoholisim. it has a techneque between Tyler Perry and August Wilson but is still all Sabrae Harris enjoy and let me know what you think

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I'm submitting this to the Writer's Digest short story competition. I've never done anything like this before, so I'm very excited, even if nothing comes of it. The limit is 1500 words and I'm at 1200 so I can add 300 words if I need to; so tell me if I need to. I have fixed all the things that people said I should fix. But there could always be more! *** I actually changed it just now to clarify who Mia really is. I may have ruined it. Let me know!

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This is the Absolute Final "piece" to be published of "A Mexican and his Marbles". It was bound to end some time. Had to end some time. And has indeed ended this time with a period at the end of the last word of "Part 4"...

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This is a humorous non-fiction ride down memory lane. It is the first time I have put anything up for feedback. I'd appreciate any and all comments. Kate

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"Part 3" of Huxley Innis's (on going) shindig shenanigans, which, by the way, will be no longer on going, but rather just simply gone with the...conclusion (not the wind) of "Part 4"... And then we can finally get on with other matters.

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Does anyone else have a 'blip' or a 'creak' or a 'VARICOSITY'? These are just random thoughts I had after a visit to the opthamologist...

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Let me know what you think. All comments are appreciated.

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Anything you say will be valuable to me as this is just a pile of words to match the pile of clothes.

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This is another installment of life with Daniel. After living it, then writing it, I wondered if anyone would care about this man as a 'character'. Do those in the caretaker roles elicit any sympathy? So, let me know if there is ANY interest in this. Thanks.

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My son called and told me this harrowing tale of his trip through the Atlanta airport. Thought I'd share, from his POV.

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A Sixth Grade Art Class in Oakland PA. 1940:

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Attention all nit-pickers. I need your help. I’ve read this too many times and can no longer see grammar or punctuation issues, and I’m not sure but there may be a problem with tense. It seems fluid. Any other thoughts will be most welcomed. The story is complete as written and I’m at the point of submission. Thanks.

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This is "part 2" of a long short story that continues to run away on me. Due to publishing restrictions (5000 words only), it has been and will continue to be posted in "parts".

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The BOWW Autumn Tour Route

The entire novel is posted.

This is Babyface Fire, a work of comedic fantasy, the second book in the Geffia series. This book involves a new story many new characters, so while it helps to have read the Adventure Tournament first to get some of the references, it's not required.

Loebo Anders is a member of the adventuring company known as the Chosen Squad. Aside from sharing daring escapades with his friends and acquiring treasure, his main desire in life is to marry the lovely Alyssa Blume. However, when he sets out to rescue her from her overprotective father and take her away with him, things don't exactly go as planned. Loebo finds out a bounty has been placed on his head... by his own grandmother!

While the rest of the Squad tries to unravel the circumstances behind this mysterious bounty, Loebo falls in with a wrestler-turned-adventurer named Bleg. Before he can return Loebo safely to Foeny City, they decide to help out a female wrestler named Syrana by escorting her to her new job at BOWW, Bleg's old stomping grounds and the premier pro wrestling league in all of Bolognia. While Bleg confronts his past, Loebo suddenly finds himself in the middle of the biggest wrestling storyline of the year.

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Can stubbornness be taken beyond the grave?

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Just having fun with a brief brainstorm. With apologies to the master poets. All thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

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This piece was an exercise in cathartic release. After re-reading, I laughed. So, I gave it a Humor tag. I don't know if anyone else would see (dark) humor in it, so I thought I'd post it and ask. How you would label such a short story? Of course I would appreciate any other critique you might have to offer. Also, can anyone tell me how to format line spacing if not using Word? Windows 7 doesn't seem to offer 'Accessories' as in the days of old!

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All feedback welcome.

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These characters are being fed through my Coffee table book Rants Raves & Ramblings

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Intercultural humor, a tad risqué, I suppose---but the teacher learned something! Very short, so every word needs to count. Where does this tale bog down? What is the reader's response? Of course nits if you're so inclined.

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A simple tribute to my dear friend and fellow writer Mike2439 I cannot do him justice but he will understand. I think he will feel the words.. where ever he treads.

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Welcome to my functioning family asylum. I'm starting a series of short stories about this family, so I thought I'd repost it to reintroduce the main character "Stevie" so that "A Normal Uncle" has a context for readers to work with.

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A peek into the mind of Ms Flo and in a way see how she views the world. It might explain some nagging questions. "Feed back?" "Yes! I am starved!" That is a clue Not a short story nor a poem.. not even any good! This is what working at taking care of children does to an old geezer. Most likely this will grow... sort of like fungus?

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This started out as 6,500 word short story that ballooned to 18,250 words, got heavily edited and is now down to around 15,000 words. It has been posted in four parts in order to get around the 5000 word limit.

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Looking for feedback on storyline composition / plot and how this story could be stronger.

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An attempt at the time capsule droubble. This time a wee bit serious attempt. Does it work, does it have all the rules etc!

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Then truth behind the beard the jelly belly and those jingling bells

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Clearing my head of cliches by passing them all on to you. Comments welcome.

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I wrote this as a somewhat whimsical view of writing poetry. Just looking for reactions. Thanks, Rick

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This is my second attempt at this. IF YOU READ IT, PLEASE COMMENT!!! I've tried to add more visuals about the character, and adding his thoughts should make the piece funnier. I also changed the ending with a few quick words. IS IT FUNNY????? That's the big question. If you read it at all, please let me know and fill in the rest of the review with x x x x x 'til you get to 50 words.

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It's never boring at the GP Motor Inn.

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My entry in the flash section of the Halloween competition. Please let me know if you think some parts of this story are over the top. It's meant to be funny, not gross. You can squirm a little, but I don't intend for anyone to stop reading.

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This is just another one of my columns. I'm trying to get a feel for what people really think of them. Like I said before, you just can't get honest feedback from loved ones. Pardon the grammar, its unedited and in bad need of a once over. I'm just feeling a tad bit lazy today.

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I write a weekly humor column for a newspaper here in my hometown. I thought I would start out small for my first go at all of this so I am posting one of my columns. I need honesty because, even though I love them, families/friends give bias reviews of just about everything I throw at them. It is G rated, because well, old people who read the paper don't like potty mouths. Plus, my editor said no. Bummer huh?

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This is the monologue of a comedian who is doing his first performance on stage about meeting a girl on Match.com. I would like ideas on how to make it more humorous, and whether some of the "valley girl" language has to be removed to make it sound more like a male comedian. Also, let me know if it's R or PG.

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The novel will be released for sale on my facebook page and on Amazon on August 2, 2011. As such, I have disabled everything except the first three chapters. If you are interested in purchasing, please like my facebook page:
Nicholas Andrews - Independent Author

This is a work of comedic fantasy, so be prepared for a lot of crude, rude and "dude" humor. This is the first book to take place in my world of Geffia. Brief synopsis:

Remy Fairwyn is an enthusiastic youngster, whose ambition is to travel the land in search of fame and treasure, righting wrongs and winning glory along the way. Unfortunately, he's currently enrolled in a seemingly neverendi...ng program of education at Foeny University. And he has a father who disapproves of such pursuits. And he happens to have a mind more suited to a pack mule than a great warrior. But that all changes when the kingdom's powers-that-be introduce an Adventure Tournament, with instant fame being the prize at the end.

This story contains (1) corrupt organization looking to use the kingdom's woes to swell its own coffers. Contains your daily requirement of Feminist Healers, Professional Wrestlers, Drama Kings, Pompous Asses, Narcoleptic Thieves, Overbearing Fathers, Ambiguous Relations, Runaway Treasure Chests, Flying Shoes and a pinch of Cute Kitty Monsters Willing to Devour Any and All. Also contains one (1) Remy, perhaps the most ill-suited adventurer to ever wield a big piece of wood. Stir the brain well before reading; side effects may include side-splitting laughter, mild cases of forehead slapping and erectile dysfunction. Do not read if pregnant.

Will Remy be able to confront all these elements and cook up an unlikely victory? Or is his participation a recipe for disaster?

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Having little fun before I start my day with weezers, reviewing etc. If if brings a smile or two.. it served a purpose. Started out being a crime of passion but decided some might not see it as humor. Although with Flo.. ?

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Teenager Moon(y) River Horizon tells the story of his escape from his Luddite (anti-technology) parents and his quest to become an astronaut, find his missing sister, and start a new life in a world he doesn't understand. Along the way, however, he discovers some upsetting secrets about his family and somehow gets sucked into an underground rebellion to take down the Pentagon.

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Just silly stuff after a solid week of children and extra dogs! I think being a brain surgeon would be easier..

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Jane, a recently divorced woman, is taking stock of her life and realizing she needs more than work and frozen dinners. It is the story of one woman's transformation in a humorous fashion finding love along the way.

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Suggestions for improvement?

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In Search of Mr. Wonderful, The Journey from Myth to Madness Romance / Adult To Invite Love, You Must Love Yourself First Syvanna Lee knows what she wants—an everlasting love, her own “Mr. Wonderful.� Yet in her precarious quest to find such a man, she refuses to listen to the truth of her inner voice and ends up disappointed time and again. Each “Mr. Somebody� Syvanna becomes involved with opens a new chapter in her life. Each new relationship causes her to look at herself from a different perspective. Each new lover unveils previously unexplored facets of her own personality. She is ready for love, but will she ever realize that to give love, receive love, or even demand love, she must love herself first? And if Syvanna would only take a moment to listen to her inner voice, she might learn an important truth. As the tale unfolds, an ominous secret from Syvanna’s childhood rises to the surface, a secret that may ultimately kill her. In Search of Mr. Wonderful is a tale of heartbreak, self-destruction, desperation, and, ultimately, of transformation and discovery. Ms. Bouvier has written a novel of intense beauty and introspection that will stay with you long after you’ve turned the final page. REVIEWERS PLEASE NOTE: I will be adding chapters daily until the whole manuscript has been submitted. There are a lot!!! Stay tuned!!

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I apologize to animal lovers in advance for this tale of unmitigated violence. This is pretty rough and I welcome any comments. And really, I'm kind to animals and other living creatures as well.

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Jake Wilson lives a life very much to himself. He seems content enough. He is close with his sister, Michelle. And his best-friend Alex is a pickup artist that tries to bring the best (or worst) out of Jake. And he has a decent enough job, which he only hates most of the time. Everything seems to be fine until a series of events leads Jake to question who he is. He meets the girl of his dreams, Chelsea. He receives a concussion. His ex-girlfriend, Rebekah, comes back into his life. His estranged father dies. And Jake's life spins out of control. But after receiving the concussion, Jake begins to see the masks he wears, and he begins to feel a burning in his stomach. It is at this moment that Jake begins the strenuous journey of self-discovery.

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twenty-something girl finds Aladin's lamp at a garage sale and wackiness ensues. This wasn't really intended to be a novel, but the 5000 word thing made me chop it into 2 pieces.

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Atticus Wynn and Rosemary Sanchez's relationship was already strained by their cultural and political differences, but now Atticus's Ex, the enigmatic Claire Rousseau, has burst back into his life, trailing a wake of mayhem and murder, and wielding an explosive secret about Rosemary who has a tragic secret of her own . . .

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Anything, especially does the ending work. Thanks!

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(REWORKED and REVISED--Loved this character but needed to go back and work out the plot so that I could move the story forward. Feel like the story is more plausible now). Twenty-something-year old Miki Jackson is a broken-hearted wannabe writer and a movie addict who believes that life and love should be romantic comedy. She's spent so much time looking for love that she neglected to find herself. When a screenwriting contest offers her the chance to find the career and man of her dreams, it's an opportunity she can't pass it up. Problem is, Miki attracts drama like bees to honey. Her quest to write the perfect romantic comedy by living the perfect romantic comedy leads her straight to jail--without passing go or collecting two-hundred dollars. She learns the hard way that life does not always imitate art. A cranky judge, who sentences her to community service, sends her spiraling into a depression and makes her realize her how empty and unaccomplished her life really is. With 500 hours of community service at a women's center, Miki remains determined to find the love of her life in time to write the perfect script and win the contest. But spending time serving others helps her discover a gift beyond anything she thought she could offer. After she fumbles and bumbles her way into Mr. Wrong after Mr. Wrong, she finally discovers--not one--but two seeming Mr. Rights. Both can offer her the life she's always hoped for. But when her wedding day arrives and the battle for her heart comes to a head, will she marry the man of her dreams--or the man who keeps it real?

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Just a quick story about a funny moment at work. I am looking for a new story title...any suggestions? Chris

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The name of the the town at the base of the mountain where the Dragons are is now "Little Al"

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Many have wondered about my pen name and how it came to be. These are the facts. No names have been changed as why would I want to protect the guilty! This is my story. This is for all those new members who just might get the wrong idea of how good a writer I am! Pulitzer Prize winner someday? Sure! I soon will be rolling in wampum and I will have to buy bigger teepee with a pool.

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I've noted several specualtive fiction publishers complaining they don't get much humor, so I dusted this old story off and am considering submitting. Please let me know where it could stand to be improved. Part 2 will be posted Monday latest.

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This is entirely a work of fiction. As if you didn't know. I'm interested in feedback as follows - Is this at least mildly humorous? Do these characters and their little world have potential in a novel or collection of short stories? Finally - nits and other stuff as you see fit.

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SMILES AND LAUGHS or snickers of understanding. True story and ongoing! There is no hope for Flo to get her man. I have tried it all! I have stuffed, buffed and lied to no avail! Even spanx has not helped! Now if only I could figure on how the hell to get out of the damn contraption. Any and all advice on dating ...errrrr writing is always wanted though at times a pain!

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fractured sex education

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A young woman, on her own for the first time, finds wisdom and humor from the other waitresses at the Red Top Diner. Feedback: All comments are welcome. I'm not sure I captured this story in the allotted words. Maybe it needs to be longer. Your thoughts?

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A tall tale inspired by some very real folks I met recently. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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Hi. I thought I needed some practice with first person so I invented a voice. Not someone you'd want to meet at the mall. His name is Pat. What do you think of him?

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Oscar is a charming fellow who cares for a cemetery in Savannah in ways you can't imagine.

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Who would have believed that an almost one year old child would care about a surprise party? Mom and Grandma maybe.

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Humor about aging and sexuality Bits of truths ... feedback wanted? The sound of laughter! Knee slaps! Spewing of liquid from mouths!!! Coffee.. beer... hopefully not expensive Port!

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This is a (mostly) true story. Does this story flow? Are there parts that are confusing? Is it funny? Would you add anything or take anything out? Also looking for grammital problems. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

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Part 2 in the series California Days with Mama Mama takes on the Hollywood scene, from her kitchen. Feedback welcome and thank you.

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Lots of laughter is all that is needed.. This is based on FACTS HUMOR!! No sadness allowed!

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This is a small take on my kids soccer life. Its not exactly like this but... any feedback would be appreciated and watch out for some saucy language.

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This is about my experiences as a landlord. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks

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Just what people think any feedback would be appreciated

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Any feedback, good and bad is appreciated. That said.... It started with a honey bear and a pizza

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I didn't intend to enter this contest. I have so little quality writing time that I have to pick and choose my projects. But since I am getting married soon (9 days, 3 1/2 hours from now), I decided to put this story together just for the heck of it. I wrote it pretty quickly and it's my first attempt at a humorous story. I enjoyed writing it and I hope that some of you enjoy it too. Please give any and all feedback. And thanks for reading! (re-submitted 8/30 to clean up some errors and stuff)

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A weird story inspired by those tabloids. Just for fun.

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A little humorous poem from the chauvinist and conservative that I can sometimes be. Just in fun.

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Hopefully humorous poem on aging.

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This is rhiannon on Rhiannon expanded; as suggested. It has an ending, is either more truthful or it is not. Remember when I tell you anything about this story that "I am Lying Now."

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English class becomes the highlight of a young man's life.

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Something that popped into my head when I read about the short story contest. I simply couldn't NOT enter, since it specifically asked for a fantasy or scifi element. This is a silly, light-hearted twist on the fairy tale. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to give me any and all feedback.

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Most Martian weddings are rather nondescript and far from entertaining. In fact, most of them are just plain boring. This one, however, fits a different mold. Stories about this particular wedding are still among some the favorite old tales being told a hundred years later. In fact, Phfaschtja's bra is one of the most celebrated displays at the local museum. And the story of Pfhaschtja's father's face being trapped between his mother-in-laws knees is still a knee slapper. Any thoughts, nits, suggestions, comments appreciated. I've never before written anything in a fantasy setting (other than D&D adventures). I'm not even sure this is the kind of story the contest is seeking. Anyway, here it is....I'VE DONE A SIGNIFICANT REWRITE!!!

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This is Part Two of the farce about the Barnes family wreaking their vengeance against the DMV and the police. All I wanna know is did it put a smile on your face.

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Because this novel does not fit into any specific genre, I am going with Commercial Fiction. It has equal elements of Romance, Love Story and Drama. Suspense and humor are no strangers to the story, either. To me, it is a drama fueled by the quest of two lovers to find one another after a very lengthy separation. Two young lovers, Randy Harris and Brenda Chandler, are separated by totally unexpected circumstances beyond their control. They are taken from their small-towm roots of rural Kansas, Randy to Georgia and Brenda to Texas. The year is 1963. Weeks turn into months, months into years. Each starts a new life of his and her own. However, rarely does one completley forget about the other. But Randy and Brenda face substantial, and sometimes horrific, challenges in their new, seaparate lives. The drama and tension hover around every corner. Randy goes to jail, charged with the brutal slaying of his dearest friend. And that's not the only major trauma in his young life. Brenda's life moves in a most unexpected direction for a naive farm girl. She has her own tragedy to deal with. The untimely deaths of people they love torment both of them. In Brenda's case, the death leaves her with a heavy burden of guilt she can't seem to shake. Each enjoys moments of joy and rewards. But it seems there is always something lurking around the corner that wants to dampen those moments. But you will fall in love with the quirky humor of old Pop Johnson and the compassion of Bruce Armstrong. They are sure to make you smile between the tragedies and challenges. And there are a couple of places where you might want to have a Kleenex handy. Pop's story of his early days in Georgie will almost certainky bring a tear to your eyes. Randy's return from Vietnam culminates in a gut-wrenching discovery. There is quite an unexpected twist at the end. You probably won't see it coming! All comments, suggestions and nits are welcome. And thanks in advance for your time to read and comment, should you choose to. PS: The improper grammar in some of the dialougue is intentional.

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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This is a farce written for anyone who has ever had a screw-up with the DMV or been picked on by the police. Part Two will follow.

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This is a short essay I wrote a (long) time ago about the first day of my first job.

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A night at karaoke has a twist. Any comments would be helpful. Thanks. Vern PS: This has been revised and expanded. The alternative ending is now the only one included.

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Would like to know if people find it humorous, how I could improve on it or any feedback you desire

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"I Know You By Heart" takes an extended family through the death of its matriarch and then through the formalities of the mourning period. This premise seems very mundane I suspect, but no doubt you know from experience, that no mourning period for anyone, or any family is like any other. All members of all families have unfinished business, hidden scandals, fearful secrets that create unwitting behavior. Each character provides harsh but horribly true information revealed for the first time. In “I Know You by Heart,� all of these elements float about uncontrolled and the family appears to run amok. As adults, we have learned that reasonably responsible people often respond to crisis in irrational ways. This particular family grieves, begrudges, punishes and begins to love again over time.

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Previously titled "For An Easy Life" I have rehashed the story even though many of the characters remain the same.

Trout is in his early thirties, single, carefree and happy with his life. However superficial it might appear to others, Trout is not a relationship kind of guy. That is, until a mix-up at his aging Grandmother's birthday party has his friends and family scurrying to find him a wife.

And then, as if by magic, he meets an old flame, Amanda, who at first seems to fit the bill perfectly.

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This was originally a lyric to a song I worte. I did a little cut and paste to make it look somewhat like a poem. As most of you know, I am a very poor poet. But sometimes the muse insists at the risk of her going on extended vaction if I do not comply. A little Psychology 101 mixed with a little humor. It's meant to be a little bit of fun. It suffers significantly from a technical POV. But my very best poetry is pretty bad. Hope you enjoy it.

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Charles "Cash" Register is a Private Investigator whose new case is to reclaim the missing wife of a weird little mystic from the "Spirits of the Great Beyond." His mother thinks she is a reincarnation of Annie Oakley. She's very handy with a lasso. His assistant is a gorgeous but ditzy blonde who's built like the best brick outhouse money can buy. She has a lot of skin to cover in places. Somehow she always has a little trouble keeping it adequately covered. When Chuck-A-Roo the Clown; Cedrick the Sissy; and old, senile Mrs. Snodgrass and her dog get involved, it becomes a calamity. The humor is a little silly and over-the-top in places. BEWARE: There is a lot of sexual inuendo, adult situations and adult language. And yes, our P.I. is a bit chauvanistic at times. Any comments you would care to make are welcomed. Anything from a general "I like it" or "I don't like it" to a lengthy technical critique would be fine. I am writing this as I go. I have completed but four chapters at this point. I was rather reluctant to do it this way. But, what the heck. It will force me to work hard on it. Problem is...I don't have a clue where the story is going yet! Should be interesting! Thanks in advance.

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Just a sort of dark humorous reminder to keep things in perspective. Any an all sharing is welcome.

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Just for fun--haven't been here for a while

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I really do hate mornings. I thought I'd share that disdain with you. Any and all comments welcomed.

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It's All Mercenary is a humorous take on the overly used plot of a quest. You have your generic characters: Mage, Barbarian, Healer, Mercenary, etc, but they are filled by personalities who don't quite fit the boundaries of their roles. Told in first person. I have thick skin, so don't be afraid to tell it like you see it. NOTE TO NEW READERS: The early chapters need a lot of work. I know this and I will edit them eventually. This is only a first draft.

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True story of a conversation I had one afternoon with a very sweet, but oh so innocent, former student. Enjoy! :)

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Due to aldersmith's inspiration, I am posting a short story that used to be one of the chapters in A Gypsy Among Gysies. If you haven't read Gypsy, review it like any short story. For those of you who have read my memoir, I would love to know if you think I should add this to Gypsy. Thanks, Nancy

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Halloween political humor that includes them ALL, no bias here!

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The humorous story of an attractive forty-something woman, labeled by some in society as a "cougar," trying to succeed as the public relations manager to a sex-crazed Mayor in the world of Philadelphia's city politics. The wild antics of her dates, co-workers, and especially the mayor, add up as she tries to keep the mayor out of trouble and successfully land her dream job as a White House public relations manager. Things really get out of control when a religious foreign diplomat comes to town, accompanied by his beautiful twenty-two year old "party down" daughter.

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Just a few things that crossed my mind as I had the privilege of driving in St. Louis traffic yesterday. There's probably nothing here you haven't read before...just my take on it. Sometimes ya just gotta let off a little steam! As far as reviews,,,well, you folks already know I really stink with short stories and poems. So, blast away! I'm interested in any comments you might have.

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What does God do in Heaven all day? A humorous take on the connection between metaphysics and physics, and the sorry state of affairs on planet Earth.

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CAUTION: YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ THIS IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO DINNER, OR LUNCH, OR... Just a silly little thing that crossed my mind. After reading this, you'll probably wonder if I even have a mind! It's totally tasteless and has no redeeming qualities what so ever. But, I follow my muse...she insists! Feedback? Well, if you're desperate for credits!

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This is my entry for the My Writing Life contest. Parts have been borrowed from my memoir, Root Hog or Die. Any suggestions for improvement will be appreciated. Thanks.

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Just my rant about how the world has become so freaking complicated. I moved this from Short Story to Editorial and Opinion.

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This is just a bunch of silly nonesense that I wrote a few years ago. As I have previously mentioned, there is nothing deep or thought-provoking about my poetry. It's all extemporaneous with little or no rewrite. Just let me know if you found it slightly amusing.

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The frustrating game of golf

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The first three chapters have been revised and rearranged for the strongest start competition. The novel is posted in its entirety so you may read at your leisure (DISABLED CHAPTERS WILL BE ENABLED FOR ANY NEW REVIEWERS GOING BEYOND CHAPTER 3). Old reviews will not always match up with the chapter that it is attached to. This is in essence a memoir of my life in an orphanage, but I use composite characters and am not sure it qualifies as "memoir" for the contest. I will let the judges decide that. I hope this final go through will make it ready to publish, so any comments whatsoever will be appreciated. Especially interested in the new flow pattern. Opinions? Thanks for your help and advice.

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Modobenny has been twisting my arm. She has finally convinced me to begin the process of coalescing these stories into a novel format. Some of the chapters are simply cut and paste from the Short Story postings. Others are new. As always, have at it with suggestions. Lord knows, I wouldn't let any of you off the hook. Thanks again, to all who have helped me get even this far. I couldn't have done it without you. Scott

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Divorce from a man's perspective perhaps?

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News Report: The Daily Mouse. Jan 6, 2008 Four cats were arrested in connection with the murder of a mouse at the house of a local writer.When questioned, the cats categorically denied the crime, made a statement to Ms Nove to this effect, and were released on bail of 1 kilo of cheese. Investigations are ongoing.

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Sometimes politics is crazy like cats, mice and clocks all running to the finish line and here they go again.

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For some unknown reason, women feel they must drop hints as to the gifts they would like to receive from men. The poem is a silly take on how this ritual does NOT work!

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A ship loaded with iron ore comes in to dock at a steel mill. Because a crew member has a febrile illness, the company's medical director must determine if the illness is a communicable disease requiring the ship to be quarantined. Any suggestions about the Spanish (or anything else) are welcome although I don't want Joe's to be too accurate. Also, I'm concerned about some of the extraneous stuff, i.e. the Chinese flu, the Swedish ship.

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My first and only entanglement with the dreaded Haiku

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When working in San Francisco you have to ask, “Is pot still illegal?� Young Jason has taken his first hit of marijuana. It's not sitting well with him. Jason also has a date. I sort through the medical issues while tempering the affections of the two lovebirds. In San Francisco, normal is a little different. Before the story, I've included a "Snippet", a totally unrelated flash. I've got these lying around and wanted to get some thoughts on them as well.

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Welcome to Maudlingham, a quaint little English town tucked away in the green belt area off the south coast, carefully hidden from the spotlight of modern day commerce.

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After a writing class in which we discussed how to write about sex (street terms vs anatomical), I came home and wrote this piece of nonsense using every anatomical term I could find. Strictly for fun. Rphil205

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Let’s just say an abscess doesn’t happen overnight. When Danielle and I get called at three in the morning, the patience line is a little thin. The ambulance is locked inside a parking lot and I must play twenty questions to find the key to the gate. It’s now four in the morning and I blow my top. These are the calls that eat paramedics alive over the years.

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Betty Kay (or is it Kay Betty?) has a nosebleed. She won’t give a straight answer and I am losing my mind just trying to get her name. In the end, I am exhausted after verbally jousting with a difficult patient and even more shocked to find out why her nose started bleeding in the first place.

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This is just another one of my rants, as well as being self-therapy. I was a legal secretary for about 12 years too long, so that would be 12 years I was a legal secretary. The lawyers are being punished in my novel but I think the clients deserve some attention as well. I swear on a stack of pancakes, a smoke stack, a stacked deck, and a stacked dame that I had this conversation countless times during those 12 long years. My computer, in it's diabolical desire to screw up my life, denies me the use of italics. Sorry about that.

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The story begins with Cleo at work and works it way back to tell you how she got there. She goes to University, expecting the time of her life. Except it all goes horrribly wrong when her best friend becomes pregnant by Michael . Cleo is in love with Micheal, but going out with his best friend Sam , oh and then she gets together with Michael! The fun just doesn't stop in this hilerous, yet touching and sometimes dramatic story about a young woman's fight to be with the man she loves. That is when she finds out who he is!

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Beloved, aging comedian Buddy White signs a deal to play Vegas for one final performance, a fantastic send-off segueing into a well-deserved retirement. He wants to give his loyal audience a last memorable performance. Without warning he is shuffled off to Hell by mistake. When the misanthrope demon that grabbed him realizes the error, he abandons him outside the gate. Buddy can't get in. So he sets off to find his way back home. He follows the Acheron upriver on a journey that grows increasingly bizarre. Meanwhile, Hell's authorities learn of the blunder and send out a posse to round up the errant comedian. At the same time, Heaven discovers the mistake and dispatches a Chorus of Angels to find Buddy and rush him to Heaven. Buddy is determined to elude them all and get back to Earth. He's never missed a show or broken a promise in his entire professional life and he isn't about to start now. The prospect of a dead comedian playing to a live audience in Vegas would badly upset the status quo so Heaven and Hell join forces, determined to stop him. As Buddy perseveres, his natural cheer and success at evading the bungling bureaucrats of the afterlife begins to bring hope to the damned. By degrees he finds himself at the head of a revolution. All Buddy wants is to go home.

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This bit of silliness was inspired by my year and a half stint as a wrangler of teen addicts and one of my daughter's high school friends.

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This is the ultimate rant about one of my biggest pet peeves. Not for the faint of heart and by this, I mean men. All my male friends are horrified by this story. Luckily all my women friends are as sick and twisted as I am.

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Several months ago, someone, I think Selah, but I’m not positive, put forth a challenge to write a story using a provided list of words, some being: spigot, balcony, simple, price, migrate, customary, obedient, screen, broom, gypsy, tripod, state, scale, familiar, dodge. Sorry, I neglected to keep the list and don’t remember all of them, but that’s the bulk. I believe it had to be less than 1500 words or something like that. Anyway, I took up that challenge. Here’s my story. Hope you enjoy it.

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To whom does The People's Champion belong? The people or himself? That's the question foundling(orphan) Jakund Frey'lnd, a gifted young swordsman and war hero dubbed "Kid Blade," struggles with as he battles the ferocious Gothari and learns that his fame as warrior makes him a target for those looking to make a name for themself as well as an unwilling player in the games of the powerful. This is a Young Adult Fantasy, filled with humor and action, designed to appeal to all ages.

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It’s time to deliver the baby. Dad’s having a hard time sitting still, Mom is Deaf, and we’re all stuffed inside a ten-foot by four-foot ambulance.

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A female slob describes her method of dealing with guests.

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A young female police officer attempts to cope with clowns, riots, male police officers and big breasts.

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My boyfriend and I met on Valentine's Day and this poem was written for him on the next Feb. 14. Every word is true.

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A young woman's unwilling trip to a fortune teller offers a way out of what had seemed to be a bleak future.

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It was a warm spring day; the type where you could drink beer and watch the hotties in their T-backs at the Sand Bar, while they oiled up their asses to fry their skin and play Russian roulette with cancer. Unfortunately Mitch had grabbed the shit end of the stick.

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If that wasn't bad enough, he'd headed back home, only to find his best friend Walter, that no good son of a bitch, running around the living room playing a game of naked pin the tail on the donkey with his wife, Sissy.

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This is a continuation of "A Touch of Seduction", currently available on the tNBW Publication page. If you have not read that story, please do so before reading this, as it is necessary for context. I intended to do this as a short story, but it is clear that it will run well over 5,000 words, so I am posting it as a novel. It will be more like a novella, unless the characters do something even more unexpected than they have so far.

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Yes, this really happened; no I didn't exaggerate.

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This is a repackaging of the material I had already published to incorporate feedback and to allow me to get more detailed feedback on the parts. New material is included in the later chapters. This is a story about relationships, intrigue, and the interstellar trade in chocolate.

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Rhiannon, prodigal daughter of the king of New Fairy, has suffered a terrible curse. Having humiliated a witch, she must suffer a unique shame--she must go naked, regardless of the weather or social situation. These are the stories of how she reclaims her dignity and fights the evil of men, and her own inner conflicts. Many of these are more light hearted than Rhiannon's Ordeal, and show Rhiannon in the heroic capacity that emerged in her post-curse life. Rhiannon's relationship with Rosalyn is more ambiguous--at least to Rhiannon; I don't think the reader was ever fooled. There are other differences, but I don't think that should matter to the reader. Rhiannon's still her dear, sweet, naked self.

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