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Years ago my sister lived in Memphis, and insisted on my touring Graceland, Elvis Presley's mansion. Never having been a fan, I was reluctant, but noting literally thousands of people and cars teeming within the commercial -- shops, restaurants, museums -- area of the house, wheels turned in my head. This is a pilgrimage, a religious pilgrimage, I thought. To them, Elvis will never die. When the light bulbs over my head did not go away, I began to see possibilities of a novel, based on Canterbury Tales. After interviewing over a 100 and corresponding with 20-30 additional fans, I learned that each had their own story about Elvis and how he had touched their life. In a way, he was their Christ figure. I hope I will not offend when I say I truly gagged on a couple of remarks, but the hearts that spoke so willingly with me, were true. I went back to North Carolina and begin to outline "Holy Ground." I'm still at the writing and I will need all the help I can get in every area. The characters are numerous, as in Chaucer's General Prologue and that gives me fits, so I have narrowed it down to six or seven principals with a general plot running through the stories the pilgrims tell. I understand this is a long summary, but when you see me going down for the 3rd time, please throw me a line. Thanks, Olivia

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Please start at the beginning, don't just dive in at the current posting. If you're a novelist you know what I mean and why. This is the follow-up to season one. Note: This season picks up right where season one left off. So those of you who start here might be totally in the dark as to what's happening and why. I highly recommend reading season one first. Note! This is something I write for fun. I have no desire to publish it and therefore, I don't stick to the rules of POV. I tried it and didn't like it. So if you're bothered by that then you probably won't like this.

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Ed Laputan, a clinical trials project manager, awakens from a Cabernet-induced black-out to find an insistent Benjamin Franklin pounding outside his window. Franklin (almost) helps Ed and his family escape from a potential disaster and disappears. Hallucination? Delusion? When other apparitions offer Ed (not quite accurate) career advice, he suspects he may be schizophrenic. As Ed struggles with mental illness and his bumbling spirit guides, his co-workers start disappearing and his project begins to fail. Can Ed hold on to reality? Can he solve the mystery of the vanishing employees?

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A story about a man who likes to shovel the snow off of his sidewalk and car and someone gets in his way. I appreciate any critical feedback as I look forward to the revision process. Thanks in advance!

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This is my first submission on the site and first foray into the realm of flash fiction writing. Would love criticism on any and everything.

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As a child, I used to be punished for being curious about my body until I came to this conclusion. Just my humble opinion from a heterosexual point of view.

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SMILES AND LAUGHS or snickers of understanding. True story and ongoing! There is no hope for Flo to get her man. I have tried it all! I have stuffed, buffed and lied to no avail! Even spanx has not helped! Now if only I could figure on how the hell to get out of the damn contraption. Any and all advice on dating ...errrrr writing is always wanted though at times a pain!

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This was inspired by an actual letter and the reply that I read. I have hard skin. I love criticism; lay in on me.

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fractured sex education

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And you thought merging food and sexual inuendo into a flash fiction piece couldn't be done. I wasn't sure if I should post this under erotica or cooking. LOL This makes my "A Flash in the Pan" entry look normal.

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My entry for the Flash Fiction contest. Yes, I know...I ain't quite right. LOL Enjoy!

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My partner in crime, Kat Nove, dared me to do this. We have a bit of an e-maelstrom going on between us, and thus, often talk about absolutely nothing of importance, while trying to make our lives seem more amusing. Enjoy! *If you're offended, blame Kat--if you love it, it's all me ;)

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A Cloud Story - from a different perspective. If at the end you're scratching your head, check out Dan Philips' very short short, 'The Countdown'. It's the perfect postscript.

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Added the last two chapters of the short story ...

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This is just a short rant

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Here it is guys & gals. Augustus finally got off his butt and finished the story. Seriously folks if you haven't read the first one this won't make much sense and for those who can't be bothered or need a refresher I have included the last 2 paragraphs.

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A young woman, on her own for the first time, finds wisdom and humor from the other waitresses at the Red Top Diner. Feedback: All comments are welcome. I'm not sure I captured this story in the allotted words. Maybe it needs to be longer. Your thoughts?

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My apologies are in advance Im having writers block.

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This is a little Christmas ditty about The Man in the red suit. Any comments are welcome.

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A tall tale inspired by some very real folks I met recently. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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Hi. I thought I needed some practice with first person so I invented a voice. Not someone you'd want to meet at the mall. His name is Pat. What do you think of him?

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Oscar is a charming fellow who cares for a cemetery in Savannah in ways you can't imagine.

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This guy was harsh

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Satirical philosophical take on life from the perspective of a 44-year-old, cigar smoking, bourbon drinking, environmentally-conscious, corvette-driving, meat-eating, animal-loving, parent of one, from the wilds of Northwestern New Jersey. Looking for any feedback and general reaction to my first full length literary work. It is not necessary to read from the beginning due to the style, but it does help with some of the references and to get a feel for my overall mental state. Feel free to jump in wherever you like.

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Who would have believed that an almost one year old child would care about a surprise party? Mom and Grandma maybe.

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Names are not used so to protect against mc-lawsuits

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I've decided to try out a series of 'vignettes', which are memoir, though might not be in the same 'order' of chapters as I'm now posting. I'll have to do some rearranging at some point. But for now, rather than upload them all as short stories, I'll start with this for chapter one--and dread the day when I have to figure out how to rearrange. (NOTE: While the title is a shout out to my favorite author, it's a tentative one at present-though it does sum up my life quite nicely on some days!) I'm the mom of two autistic boys, and these are our stories.

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Something I thought was fun when watching an old episode of "Cops." Obviously the title is misleading and I would in no make light of domestic abuse. Enough with the disclaimers. It's just a silly poem.

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Humor about aging and sexuality Bits of truths ... feedback wanted? The sound of laughter! Knee slaps! Spewing of liquid from mouths!!! Coffee.. beer... hopefully not expensive Port!

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This is a (mostly) true story. Does this story flow? Are there parts that are confusing? Is it funny? Would you add anything or take anything out? Also looking for grammital problems. Any help or suggestions would be appreciated.

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On a family trip to Sedona, we stopped in the gift shop of a chapel and encountered something wonderful and truly bizarre!

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Too short to be a novel, too long to be a short story. In eleven brief chapters, this "novelette" is a quick and funny read about a 1972 Honda 600 Hatchback, Beezle the wonder car, the best car I ever owned.

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A few signs regarding our sluggish economy which recently grabbed my attention. Perhaps they might also have grabbed yours. I've heard that laughter is the best medicine, but this economic situation has made me laugh 'til I've cried. Better days are coming!

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The locals were ordering, primarily Kamikazes. By the pitcher. The Kamikaze Cocktail consists of equal parts of Vodka, Triple Sec and either Lemon or Lime Juice. It usually comes in a shot glass. Not in Cajun country.

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Middle-age as the 35-55 set. Seniors are 65. But now, we have a gaping hole. 55 – 65. What the heck is that?

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This was one of the best days of my life - with the cutest redhead I've ever met ... Archie, the baby Orangutan!

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This was the night my toddler made a valiant attempt to save his grandmother from certain death.

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16-year-old Katie Smart has always been painfully shy and self-conscious. Her one ambition is to become a professional photographer. Possible romantic interest from Greg, a teenage worker her father hired to keep up the grounds surrounding their New England farmhouse, the increasingly sinister attentions of her photography teacher, and a sudden change of attitude toward her from Ben, the hottest and most arrogant boy in school, combine to send her into an emotional tailspin from which she may never recover. --- FIRST DRAFT IS COMPLETE and I have begun to edit.

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Lots of laughter is all that is needed.. This is based on FACTS HUMOR!! No sadness allowed!

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An unknown entity begins writing letters to the editor. R-Restricted

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This is a small take on my kids soccer life. Its not exactly like this but... any feedback would be appreciated and watch out for some saucy language.

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This is about my experiences as a landlord. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks

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Just what people think any feedback would be appreciated

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Any feedback, good and bad is appreciated. That said.... It started with a honey bear and a pizza

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I didn't intend to enter this contest. I have so little quality writing time that I have to pick and choose my projects. But since I am getting married soon (9 days, 3 1/2 hours from now), I decided to put this story together just for the heck of it. I wrote it pretty quickly and it's my first attempt at a humorous story. I enjoyed writing it and I hope that some of you enjoy it too. Please give any and all feedback. And thanks for reading! (re-submitted 8/30 to clean up some errors and stuff)

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A weird story inspired by those tabloids. Just for fun.

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A little humorous poem from the chauvinist and conservative that I can sometimes be. Just in fun.

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The Rise and Fall of Imogene Smith is about a woman who definitely needs to fasten her seatbelt because she’s in for a bumpy ride! She’s smart, she’s better than average looking, she’s forty-eight years old and finding herself on the wrong side of a divorce after twenty-five years of marriage. Imogene soon learns that not everything is what it appears to be. In one day, she receives three phone numbers, on three napkins no less, that change the course of her life – Barry the accountant whom her best friend Belinda is insisting she date; Candace, who invites her to join the world of the Double “D” club; and Brad, a dozen years her junior, looking like a surfer straight out of Beach Blanket Bingo. Her journey from freshly minted divorcee to the strong, confidant woman she becomes, is full of pitfalls. Along the way, Imogene deals with immature office co-workers, her husband’s new girlfriend, the former mother-in-law, bridezillas, and a host of other characters that want to tell her how to run her life. Sometimes, it’s all she can do to keep her head above water and be there for her twelve-year-old son. However, no matter what happens, Imogene Smith handles what life throws at her with humor and aplomb, a true modern day heroine.

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This is the collection of previous posts. I want to thank those of you who encouraged me to continue with the dog and cat saga. I named it Fabian and Stanley. I had to dig deep to keep the humor consistent, so please help in anyway you can. If you have already reviewed. (A dogs life) and (A Cats Response) just scroll to Bath Time For Stanley. Thanks again and any feed back is welcomed.

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TO RETURNING READERS: I revised the whole angle of the Alex/Romi relationship, giving him more of a personality, vs. just someone who has come-backs. These changes are reflected in as of Ch. 7 and on. Overall it's a little more grown-up as he has a hold on her, but I tried to emphasize humour in the inner thoughts. Also, her writing quest is a much bigger deal. Well, this edit will be back to the Agent and on submission to Publishers sometime in Feb. Thanks to all for online and offline feedback! Will edit for grammar offline. More feedback always welcome. ---------------------------------------------------------- STORY INFO: Should a self-sufficient 26-year-old be forced to sell her soul and cooking skills on IndianMarriage.com? Hell no! She should fight for love! But what if love isn't found after going through tubes of lip-gloss, vodka and wingmen? What if it's found in the place where it can never survive? Ohhh Romi...you are so screwed.

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Hopefully humorous poem on aging.

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Can you be real on the inside and artificially scented on the outside?

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This is rhiannon on Rhiannon expanded; as suggested. It has an ending, is either more truthful or it is not. Remember when I tell you anything about this story that "I am Lying Now."

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English class becomes the highlight of a young man's life.

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Something that popped into my head when I read about the short story contest. I simply couldn't NOT enter, since it specifically asked for a fantasy or scifi element. This is a silly, light-hearted twist on the fairy tale. Hope you enjoy. Feel free to give me any and all feedback.

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This is a story of one day in a young woman's life where Murphy's Law takes over. All comments are welcome. Does it make you laugh?

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Most Martian weddings are rather nondescript and far from entertaining. In fact, most of them are just plain boring. This one, however, fits a different mold. Stories about this particular wedding are still among some the favorite old tales being told a hundred years later. In fact, Phfaschtja's bra is one of the most celebrated displays at the local museum. And the story of Pfhaschtja's father's face being trapped between his mother-in-laws knees is still a knee slapper. Any thoughts, nits, suggestions, comments appreciated. I've never before written anything in a fantasy setting (other than D&D adventures). I'm not even sure this is the kind of story the contest is seeking. Anyway, here it is....I'VE DONE A SIGNIFICANT REWRITE!!!

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Lily Basken enjoys her life. She goes to yoga classes three times a week, meditates every morning, tends her garden, loves her husband, and enjoys the fact that her children have finally left the nest. Life is good...until the phone call from her mother-inn-law, Estelle. She needs a place to stay for a few days, and Lily is it. But Lily can handle it. Lily can handle anything, except maybe a thorough cleansing.

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Welcome to my functioning family asylum. (Revised 7/2/09)

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This is Part Two of the farce about the Barnes family wreaking their vengeance against the DMV and the police. All I wanna know is did it put a smile on your face.

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Annie Rose Dodd is a good daughter, a self-proclaimed "church maniac" as long as she and Stella, her mother are separated by two states. When Annie's brother insists their mother has dementia, Annie tells him, "She's not batty, Eddie. That's how she is without a man." When Stella moves to North Carolina in 1994, Annie Rose is convinced her mother is on a husband hunt, having gone through three in her native Georgia. Besides, Stella is a pain in the ass. Why, asks Annie, should she spend newly acquired and valued time on a selfish old woman who was too busy chasing men to visit her children? The path of Annie's final acceptance of her mother is strewn with humor, poignancy and love. The Prologue reveals Stella's motives for moving closer to Annie, and Annie's distress at being unable to control an eighty-year old recalcitrant woman. Reviewer: I have retitled the novel,and reworked the first part of this Prologue. Please comment and check for nits.

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Because this novel does not fit into any specific genre, I am going with Commercial Fiction. It has equal elements of Romance, Love Story and Drama. Suspense and humor are no strangers to the story, either. To me, it is a drama fueled by the quest of two lovers to find one another after a very lengthy separation. Two young lovers, Randy Harris and Brenda Chandler, are separated by totally unexpected circumstances beyond their control. They are taken from their small-towm roots of rural Kansas, Randy to Georgia and Brenda to Texas. The year is 1963. Weeks turn into months, months into years. Each starts a new life of his and her own. However, rarely does one completley forget about the other. But Randy and Brenda face substantial, and sometimes horrific, challenges in their new, seaparate lives. The drama and tension hover around every corner. Randy goes to jail, charged with the brutal slaying of his dearest friend. And that's not the only major trauma in his young life. Brenda's life moves in a most unexpected direction for a naive farm girl. She has her own tragedy to deal with. The untimely deaths of people they love torment both of them. In Brenda's case, the death leaves her with a heavy burden of guilt she can't seem to shake. Each enjoys moments of joy and rewards. But it seems there is always something lurking around the corner that wants to dampen those moments. But you will fall in love with the quirky humor of old Pop Johnson and the compassion of Bruce Armstrong. They are sure to make you smile between the tragedies and challenges. And there are a couple of places where you might want to have a Kleenex handy. Pop's story of his early days in Georgie will almost certainky bring a tear to your eyes. Randy's return from Vietnam culminates in a gut-wrenching discovery. There is quite an unexpected twist at the end. You probably won't see it coming! All comments, suggestions and nits are welcome. And thanks in advance for your time to read and comment, should you choose to. PS: The improper grammar in some of the dialougue is intentional.

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A Re-boot of the Rhiannon series. It rewrites the first Rhiannon story (published elsewhere)The Gorgon. It is deliberately inconsistent with other stories published or workshopped. Rhiannon is more complicated, Rosalyn has a different status, it is in 3rd person. It has themes of transformation,the loss and reclamation of important things (although they are not what the characters or readers think at first). A word on its setting: this is not set in medieval Europe. It takes place on a world that is about 11th century in terms of its social and technological development, but is 30 lightyears away from Earth, which is occupied by a world (Terra) with 21st century development. It takes place in our future, but in that world's (worlds') past. One culture is corrupted by Terran society, others are not. Oddities like the characters using slang from the US c. 2009 is thus explained. It is the tale of the fall and rise of Rhiannon, the ever so great descendent of the lengendary woman/goddess of the same name. All feedback is appreciated. Thank you.

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This is a farce written for anyone who has ever had a screw-up with the DMV or been picked on by the police. Part Two will follow.

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This story explores the inner conflicts of two young mothers. Much like motherhood, much of it is humorous but includes a tender moment in which the main characters discover a universal truth: we all wear a bikini that we don't like how it fits.

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This is a short essay I wrote a (long) time ago about the first day of my first job.

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A night at karaoke has a twist. Any comments would be helpful. Thanks. Vern PS: This has been revised and expanded. The alternative ending is now the only one included. A possible Mezzo contest entry.

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Ex-New York detective, now a police chief in Tennessee, Sam Jenkins, helps his mayor organize a charity fashion show and ends up investigation an arson.

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This is a different style for me. My first attempt at complete dialogue AND fictional writing that's longer than a flash. Honest feedback is appreciated. Is the dialogue believable and did it make you laugh? Does the dialogue express enough to impart the scene without direct narrative description?

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A class reunion spurs Rachel's friend to go have a nip and tuck.

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This a funny little poem about fast food.

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I have rewritten this piece under the expressed written requests of my thought provoking readers/reviewers. Thank you all for so much insight. later...

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Would like to know if people find it humorous, how I could improve on it or any feedback you desire

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"I Know You By Heart" takes an extended family through the death of its matriarch and then through the formalities of the mourning period. This premise seems very mundane I suspect, but no doubt you know from experience, that no mourning period for anyone, or any family is like any other. All members of all families have unfinished business, hidden scandals, fearful secrets that create unwitting behavior. Each character provides harsh but horribly true information revealed for the first time. In “I Know You by Heart,” all of these elements float about uncontrolled and the family appears to run amok. As adults, we have learned that reasonably responsible people often respond to crisis in irrational ways. This particular family grieves, begrudges, punishes and begins to love again over time.

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The B.I.B. is a different type of Super Hero. She is a single mom struggling with the changes that occur in her life as her power emerge; wondering how to keep her powers secret, how to best use them, dealing with the sexual challenges created by having super powers. Image what saving a crippled airliner at high speed would do to your hair. Imagine all those who would love to use you for their ends. Then imagine finding out that your not the only one. The journey tests her self image, her morality, her strength, her priorities, and along the way creates a good deal of humor.

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Just another usual family Sunday afternoon

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My plan for solving some of this country's biggest problems all in one fell swoop. This is meant to be humor, so do not get offended at anything written here. If you don't have a sense of humor, this is not for you.

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This is my attempt at possibly publishing a complete nonfiction memoir of my Dad's and my relationship as he ages through Alzheimer's. It has humor as well as very surreal moments, but nothing too sad. I'll leave sensationalism to Hollywood when it comes to these type stories....no crying here! Actually, the four years before Dad passed, I laughed many times and I felt I wanted to get it on paper for those afraid of the unknown side of Alzheimer's! Thanks for reading--please give HONEST feedback as I can definitely take it, and NEED it as well!

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This is just a piece of writing thrown together when I was bored. Any kind of feedback is appreciated.

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She finds herself responding to the feeling of being observed by something in gold lame. Just what it is, well that's up to the reader. I'm looking for laughs and a little tingle. I recently moved this from Erotic to Adult subject, commercial fiction on suggestion of several readers. So if you already read it in Erotica, this is the same story. Desole.

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So Sheila told a silly lie to a coworker that somehow got out of hand and now she has to make it come true or look like a fool at her law office. But how can she make an “imaginary friend” come to life? She's determined to actually find him by following a list of “proven” love rules to finding Mr. Right. She enlists her gal pal Denise who reluctantly also follows what she deems the archaic rules of love. Now bogged down by the many rules, family stressors, societal pressures and their own misguided views on love, the pair encounter many a misadventure with Maryland’s datable, and not so dateable, pool of men. However, when they meet the men who may change their ideas of love, the women find that the rules didn’t prepare them as well as they thought. Would love any feedback to help me keep a fan of this genre interested to move on to the next chapter.

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All received responses WILL be recorded for quality assurance and training purposes.

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Many have wondered about my pen name and how it came to be. These are the facts. No names have been changed as why would I want to protect the innocent! This is my story.

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Death by Numbers is a story based on revenge. Revenge murders are carried out against the lead character based on a case that was handled by him while he was a detective with the Chicago Police.

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Part one.

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Karma is about to start her perfect life with her fiance Paul, when he dies suddenly. Now she must find a way to imagine her life without him and make peace with the fear that it might be better, somehow.

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Previously titled "For An Easy Life" I have rehashed the story even though many of the characters remain the same.

Trout is in his early thirties, single, carefree and happy with his life. However superficial it might appear to others, Trout is not a relationship kind of guy. That is, until a mix-up at his aging Grandmother's birthday party has his friends and family scurrying to find him a wife.

And then, as if by magic, he meets an old flame, Amanda, who at first seems to fit the bill perfectly.

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This was originally a lyric to a song I worte. I did a little cut and paste to make it look somewhat like a poem. As most of you know, I am a very poor poet. But sometimes the muse insists at the risk of her going on extended vaction if I do not comply. A little Psychology 101 mixed with a little humor. It's meant to be a little bit of fun. It suffers significantly from a technical POV. But my very best poetry is pretty bad. Hope you enjoy it.

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I needed a break from the serious stuff I've been working on and so I submit this. It's a riddle by the way. If you didn't guess it, then I'll tell you.

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Welcome to Chandler, Maine. Many have compared this to Peyton Place and other guilty pleasures. Any similarities are coincidental. It centers on several gay men and their families. One thing I hope to do here is make people laugh and counter the myths and gay stereotypes. I hope I succeeded. There are several characters and all serve a purpose. The very last chapter is a family tree, rather family trees. Note! This is something I write for fun. I have no desire to publish it and therefore, I don't stick to the rules of POV. I tried it and didn't like it. So if you're bothered by that then you probably won't like this.

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Norman loves his dog... but not in a 'good' way.

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Kat Ruzinowski is laid off from her job in Chicago and leaves a disapproving set of friends and family behind in order to try a year as an artistic painter in Indianapolis. The move also places Kat nearer her college pal and bandmate, Jeanie. The problem is, Jeanie's psychiatric career and family keep her as distant from Kat as when they lived in separate cities. It's been thirteen years since their artsy college band, but when Jeanie suggests the two of them play guitars again, Kat jumps at the chance to re-connect. But she's not the only one interested in joining Jeanie's basement jamm. An Indy socialite wants to sing lead, and a talented yet troubled guitarist also signs on. Kat's career and love life intertwine with the band while relationships with friends outside the group suffer. However, a disastrous debut of Female Trouble might mean a finale for her and Jeanie's friendship, her skyrocketing art career, and romance--unless Kat dares to accept the that life and relationships involve change.

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My attempt at a romantic short story. It's a wonder I'm married. And yes, the grammar is as deliberately mangled as the story.

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Charles "Cash" Register is a Private Investigator whose new case is to reclaim the missing wife of a weird little mystic from the "Spirits of the Great Beyond." His mother thinks she is a reincarnation of Annie Oakley. She's very handy with a lasso. His assistant is a gorgeous but ditzy blonde who's built like the best brick outhouse money can buy. She has a lot of skin to cover in places. Somehow she always has a little trouble keeping it adequately covered. When Chuck-A-Roo the Clown; Cedrick the Sissy; and old, senile Mrs. Snodgrass and her dog get involved, it becomes a calamity. The humor is a little silly and over-the-top in places. BEWARE: There is a lot of sexual inuendo, adult situations and adult language. And yes, our P.I. is a bit chauvanistic at times. Any comments you would care to make are welcomed. Anything from a general "I like it" or "I don't like it" to a lengthy technical critique would be fine. I am writing this as I go. I have completed but four chapters at this point. I was rather reluctant to do it this way. But, what the heck. It will force me to work hard on it. Problem is...I don't have a clue where the story is going yet! Should be interesting! Thanks in advance.

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Just a sort of dark humorous reminder to keep things in perspective. Any an all sharing is welcome.

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Malfor and Jimmy

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I really do hate mornings. I thought I'd share that disdain with you. Any and all comments welcomed.

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It's All Mercenary is a humorous take on the overly used plot of a quest. You have your generic characters: Mage, Barbarian, Healer, Mercenary, etc, but they are filled by personalities who don't quite fit the boundaries of their roles. Told in first person. I have thick skin, so don't be afraid to tell it like you see it. NOTE TO NEW READERS: The early chapters need a lot of work. I know this and I will edit them eventually. This is only a first draft.

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Story's the summary! Re the provided photo of an ostensibly down-on-his-luck man, circa the Depression years.

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Please allow me to introduce Marnie. Marnie is a kind of lovable screwball, always feeling somewhat estranged from her family. She more than half-believes the teasing remarks of an aunt that she was found on her family's doorstep. Due to Marnie's feelings of "otherness" she has had a lifelong rocky relationship with her family. Rather than accept her family as they are, she attempts to create an ideal family for herself by going round buying up various artifacts and attributing them to her ideal family members. Not certain yet if there is enough for an eventual novel, but heeere's Marnie!

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True story of a conversation I had one afternoon with a very sweet, but oh so innocent, former student. Enjoy! :)

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Due to aldersmith's inspiration, I am posting a short story that used to be one of the chapters in A Gypsy Among Gysies. If you haven't read Gypsy, review it like any short story. For those of you who have read my memoir, I would love to know if you think I should add this to Gypsy. Thanks, Nancy

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Halloween political humor that includes them ALL, no bias here!

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YOU ARE WELCOME AND INVITED TO JUMP IN ANY WHERE YOU WISH. All the chapters have been revised. The novel is posted in its entirety so you may read at your leisure (DISABLED CHAPTERS WILL AUTOMATICALLY BE ENABLED FOR ANY NEW REVIEWERS GOING BEYOND CHAPTER 3). There has been some shuffling so the previous reviews may not always match up with the chapter that it is attached to (likewise with the chapter number in the text). I have made substantial changes and the story will be shopped as two books rather than one. The break is clearly marked. I hope this final go through will make it ready to publish, so any comments whatsoever will be appreciated - punctuation, character, dialgoue, flow, ANYTHING you think would improve the readability. Though it is basically true, the characters are composite and the time lines may be occasionally altered with some literary license thrown into the mix - so, I have changed the genre from memoir to commercial fiction, and now YA this time around. Especially interested in the new flow pattern. Opinions? Thanks for your help and advice.

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This is the revised, new version of THE YANK GIRL'S GUIDE TO CHEATING ABROAD. It may take a while to post, as I'm rewriting practically the whole thing. All readers and feedback are welcome, whether you read the old version or not. Thanks!

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Use the tune Row Row Row Your Boat as reading this short humorous take on the recent economic woes of USA

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The humorous story of an attractive forty-something woman, labeled by some in society as a "cougar," trying to succeed as the public relations manager to a sex-crazed Mayor in the world of Philadelphia's city politics. The wild antics of her dates, co-workers, and especially the mayor, add up as she tries to keep the mayor out of trouble and successfully land her dream job as a White House public relations manager. Things really get out of control when a religious foreign diplomat comes to town, accompanied by his beautiful twenty-two year old "party down" daughter.

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Thank you for your comments! I am grateful for them. To answer sonny, my mother's tongue is spanish. I was since very young in a bilingual school in Mexico and learned English in a military Academy in Missouri. I'm happy to tell That I've developed a very thick skin about comments and rejections, specially regarding grammar since it is obviously not my forte. I've made changes to the story taking in consideration all the comments, I agree with most of them and I hope that the changes I've made work better than the original. I don't kbnow if the way I introduced James' last name works better than the original. Saludos! Julian

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Just a few things that crossed my mind as I had the privilege of driving in St. Louis traffic yesterday. There's probably nothing here you haven't read before...just my take on it. Sometimes ya just gotta let off a little steam! As far as reviews,,,well, you folks already know I really stink with short stories and poems. So, blast away! I'm interested in any comments you might have.

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What does God do in Heaven all day? A humorous take on the connection between metaphysics and physics, and the sorry state of affairs on planet Earth.

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CAUTION: YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO READ THIS IMMEDIATELY PRIOR TO DINNER, OR LUNCH, OR... Just a silly little thing that crossed my mind. After reading this, you'll probably wonder if I even have a mind! It's totally tasteless and has no redeeming qualities what so ever. But, I follow my muse...she insists! Feedback? Well, if you're desperate for credits!

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This is my entry for the My Writing Life contest. Parts have been borrowed from my memoir, Root Hog or Die. Any suggestions for improvement will be appreciated. Thanks.

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Just my rant about how the world has become so freaking complicated. I moved this from Short Story to Editorial and Opinion.

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This is just a bunch of silly nonesense that I wrote a few years ago. As I have previously mentioned, there is nothing deep or thought-provoking about my poetry. It's all extemporaneous with little or no rewrite. Just let me know if you found it slightly amusing.

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The frustrating game of golf

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A hair-raising tale.

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Anyone that is married, or has a significant other will appreciate this true "revenge" story.

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NOTE: THIS IS AN OLD DRAFT NOW; I'm revising it as WHAT SCOTLAND TAUGHT ME, and have disabled all but the first three chapters for now. Thanks for all your help!

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Modobenny has been twisting my arm. She has finally convinced me to begin the process of coalescing these stories into a novel format. Some of the chapters are simply cut and paste from the Short Story postings. Others are new. As always, have at it with suggestions. Lord knows, I wouldn't let any of you off the hook. Thanks again, to all who have helped me get even this far. I couldn't have done it without you. Scott

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Divorce from a man's perspective perhaps?

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News Report: The Daily Mouse. Jan 6, 2008 Four cats were arrested in connection with the murder of a mouse at the house of a local writer.When questioned, the cats categorically denied the crime, made a statement to Ms Nove to this effect, and were released on bail of 1 kilo of cheese. Investigations are ongoing.

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Sometimes politics is crazy like cats, mice and clocks all running to the finish line and here they go again.

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For some unknown reason, women feel they must drop hints as to the gifts they would like to receive from men. The poem is a silly take on how this ritual does NOT work!

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Finally stepping up to the plate to write a short story. This is my first go at it, so honest feedback, however brutal it may be, would be greatly appreciated.

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A ship loaded with iron ore comes in to dock at a steel mill. Because a crew member has a febrile illness, the company's medical director must determine if the illness is a communicable disease requiring the ship to be quarantined. Any suggestions about the Spanish (or anything else) are welcome although I don't want Joe's to be too accurate. Also, I'm concerned about some of the extraneous stuff, i.e. the Chinese flu, the Swedish ship.

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My first and only entanglement with the dreaded Haiku

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When working in San Francisco you have to ask, “Is pot still illegal?” Young Jason has taken his first hit of marijuana. It's not sitting well with him. Jason also has a date. I sort through the medical issues while tempering the affections of the two lovebirds. In San Francisco, normal is a little different. Before the story, I've included a "Snippet", a totally unrelated flash. I've got these lying around and wanted to get some thoughts on them as well.

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After a writing class in which we discussed how to write about sex (street terms vs anatomical), I came home and wrote this piece of nonsense using every anatomical term I could find. Strictly for fun. Rphil205

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What do a young, disillusioned man, a baseball fan, and an anarchist lesbian from Switzerland have in common?**** Mick, who dislikes his job, isn’t sure about his wife, disdains work at any level and desperately wants a massage. Max, who has no job, loves his wife, loves baseball but not the players, and wonders what to do next with his life. And Holly Al-Gutentag, an equal rights anarchist and lightly armed pacifist lesbian from Switzerland.**** These three seemingly unrelated lives each have their unique problems. Witness the slow boil to fruition, ultimately symbolized by Lady Liberty herself. Find out why they’re PISSED — and how three separate stories can have the same ending.**** (86,500 words.) NOTE: PLEASE START AT THE BEGINNING. Thank you.

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Let’s just say an abscess doesn’t happen overnight. When Danielle and I get called at three in the morning, the patience line is a little thin. The ambulance is locked inside a parking lot and I must play twenty questions to find the key to the gate. It’s now four in the morning and I blow my top. These are the calls that eat paramedics alive over the years.

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Betty Kay (or is it Kay Betty?) has a nosebleed. She won’t give a straight answer and I am losing my mind just trying to get her name. In the end, I am exhausted after verbally jousting with a difficult patient and even more shocked to find out why her nose started bleeding in the first place.

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This is an advertisement I came across in the local newspaper the other day!

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This is just another one of my rants, as well as being self-therapy. I was a legal secretary for about 12 years too long, so that would be 12 years I was a legal secretary. The lawyers are being punished in my novel but I think the clients deserve some attention as well. I swear on a stack of pancakes, a smoke stack, a stacked deck, and a stacked dame that I had this conversation countless times during those 12 long years. My computer, in it's diabolical desire to screw up my life, denies me the use of italics. Sorry about that.

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Beloved, aging comedian Buddy White signs a deal to play Vegas for one final performance, a fantastic send-off segueing into a well-deserved retirement. He wants to give his loyal audience a last memorable performance. Without warning he is shuffled off to Hell by mistake. When the misanthrope demon that grabbed him realizes the error, he abandons him outside the gate. Buddy can't get in. So he sets off to find his way back home. He follows the Acheron upriver on a journey that grows increasingly bizarre. Meanwhile, Hell's authorities learn of the blunder and send out a posse to round up the errant comedian. At the same time, Heaven discovers the mistake and dispatches a Chorus of Angels to find Buddy and rush him to Heaven. Buddy is determined to elude them all and get back to Earth. He's never missed a show or broken a promise in his entire professional life and he isn't about to start now. The prospect of a dead comedian playing to a live audience in Vegas would badly upset the status quo so Heaven and Hell join forces, determined to stop him. As Buddy perseveres, his natural cheer and success at evading the bungling bureaucrats of the afterlife begins to bring hope to the damned. By degrees he finds himself at the head of a revolution. All Buddy wants is to go home.

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This bit of silliness was inspired by my year and a half stint as a wrangler of teen addicts and one of my daughter's high school friends.

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This is the ultimate rant about one of my biggest pet peeves. Not for the faint of heart and by this, I mean men. All my male friends are horrified by this story. Luckily all my women friends are as sick and twisted as I am.

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Several months ago, someone, I think Selah, but I’m not positive, put forth a challenge to write a story using a provided list of words, some being: spigot, balcony, simple, price, migrate, customary, obedient, screen, broom, gypsy, tripod, state, scale, familiar, dodge. Sorry, I neglected to keep the list and don’t remember all of them, but that’s the bulk. I believe it had to be less than 1500 words or something like that. Anyway, I took up that challenge. Here’s my story. Hope you enjoy it.

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To whom does The People's Champion belong? The people or himself? That's the question foundling(orphan) Jakund Frey'lnd, a gifted young swordsman and war hero dubbed "Kid Blade," struggles with as he battles the ferocious Gothari and learns that his fame as warrior makes him a target for those looking to make a name for themself as well as an unwilling player in the games of the powerful. This is a Young Adult Fantasy, filled with humor and action, designed to appeal to all ages.

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It’s time to deliver the baby. Dad’s having a hard time sitting still, Mom is Deaf, and we’re all stuffed inside a ten-foot by four-foot ambulance.

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A female slob describes her method of dealing with guests.

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A young female police officer attempts to cope with clowns, riots, male police officers and big breasts.

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My boyfriend and I met on Valentine's Day and this poem was written for him on the next Feb. 14. Every word is true.

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A young woman's unwilling trip to a fortune teller offers a way out of what had seemed to be a bleak future.

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The world in which we live is changing drastically. Science and technology are taking us to levels of existence hitherto deemed impossible. But where has man really progressed? Just a few thoughts.

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Introduction.... DADDY, WHY CAN'T I SAY 'ASS?' is about living in the moment, as well as living in some other moments; keeping your eye on the goal, once you get a goal; and eating hotdogs instead of Matzoh-ball Ramen soup. It’s about parenting the modern girl-child from the perspective of a divorced father, while he tries to find his voice as a writer and his place as a husband.

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The following is a work of fiction. These are random thoughts I threw together based on past relationships. You may find them funny, or you may not. I hope you do personally...... Please tear into it, and give as many suggestions as you're comfortable giving. I want to send this in soon. *Revised 9/27/06

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Danny Marx is abruptly torn from his unpromising life as an average office grunt, by a woman he's had a crush on for weeks before actually meeting her. Now facing a series of unexpected and confusing threats, he finds that the more he learns about Caprice, the less sense she makes to him.

This book is a bit of an experiment for me on several levels, not the least of which is to find out whether I am capable of writing a short novel.

NOTE TO POTENTIAL REVIEWERS: As with any novel, the point of entry should be chapter one. With Caprice in particular, if you jump in anywhere else, you will almost certainly miss the entire point of the story. That danger will increase exponentially as I add more chapters. The kind of feedback I need more than anything else is about plot and character development, so latecomer reviews, while well-intentioned, won't be of value. Please start from the beginning.

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It was a warm spring day; the type where you could drink beer and watch the hotties in their T-backs at the Sand Bar, while they oiled up their asses to fry their skin and play Russian roulette with cancer. Unfortunately Mitch had grabbed the shit end of the stick.

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If that wasn't bad enough, he'd headed back home, only to find his best friend Walter, that no good son of a bitch, running around the living room playing a game of naked pin the tail on the donkey with his wife, Sissy.

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This is a continuation of "A Touch of Seduction", currently available on the tNBW Publication page. If you have not read that story, please do so before reading this, as it is necessary for context. I intended to do this as a short story, but it is clear that it will run well over 5,000 words, so I am posting it as a novel. It will be more like a novella, unless the characters do something even more unexpected than they have so far.

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This is a repackaging of the material I had already published to incorporate feedback and to allow me to get more detailed feedback on the parts. New material is included in the later chapters. This is a story about relationships, intrigue, and the interstellar trade in chocolate.

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Rhiannon, prodigal daughter of the king of New Fairy, has suffered a terrible curse. Having humiliated a witch, she must suffer a unique shame--she must go naked, regardless of the weather or social situation. These are the stories of how she reclaims her dignity and fights the evil of men, and her own inner conflicts. Many of these are more light hearted than Rhiannon's Ordeal, and show Rhiannon in the heroic capacity that emerged in her post-curse life. Rhiannon's relationship with Rosalyn is more ambiguous--at least to Rhiannon; I don't think the reader was ever fooled. There are other differences, but I don't think that should matter to the reader. Rhiannon's still her dear, sweet, naked self.

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