Content: horror

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The quiet town of Marbury keeps their secrets well hidden, and their skeletons stuffed neatly in their closets. One of these secrets, however, has been seducing the curiosity of some of Eldridge High School's more unruly students, and now they'll take it upon themselves to investigate what lies within the four walls of the mansion near Whitlock Cemetery: The Ashmore house. Local legend tells of a man named Abner Ashmore who, over a century ago, murdered his brother Sebastian and his fiancé Evelyn out of jealousy. He then murdered himself so that he could chase Evelyn in the afterlife. But instead, Abner's punishment for ruining their fated love was to be imprisoned in family's house for eternity. "Survive the Night" follows the journey of eleven high school students who venture into the abandoned mansion on their own. Among the group is seventeen-year-old Victoria Brooke, a moral and reserved teen who only joins the group to protect her nerdy classmate, Icarus Foster, from being bullied by popular jock Kevin Cooper and his posse. And through the haunting acts of physical possession, clairaudience, apparition sightings, and a palette of other deadly horrors, Victoria and the others will soon discover that they are not only visitors at the Ashmore estate, they are the continuation and end to the legend.

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Lust's passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes. ~~The Marquis de Sade

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I'm involved in a contest that gives the writer a new prompt every other week. We have one week to compose a short story of two to five thousand words. The third prompt was "Vengeance". The problem is this theme has been done to death! What can be written that isn't SO cliche and overdone? Then, a friend suggested the twist on character names. Be warned, one reviewer called in a mix between fairy-tale and horror. Thank you so very much for any and all help.

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2012 has come and gone, with no big cataclysmic event to end the world. Or so everyone thinks. The Mayans didn't predict the end of the world, only the end of an era in human history. This is what happened in my version on March 23, 2013, 3 months after the end of the Mayan calendar. Have fun with the zombies!

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Estella James and Harold McCaffey meet and so a caustic relationship begins. Desired Feedback: In some ways, I think this work lacks direction and/or focus. I have labored over every word, and writing is coming so slowly that I can't seem to pick up a natural focus on the course of events. Also, I have never stuck with a longer piece of writing like a novel. There are some similes/metaphors, word-choice, transitions, and descriptions that I'm not sure work.

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Sometimes past memories resurface at the most unlikely locations . . . (NOTE: I have also corrected the editing so that it reads in paragraphs. My apologies for the original formatting problem.)

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An aging detective must resolve a ten-year-old murder case before she can find a missing child. A psychological thriller, Detective Stone faces her most intimate fears as she prepares to battle the monsters her father once warned her about.

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Some years ago an acquaintance and his family moved into a high-crime neighborhood in a bad city. I visited once, and never went back. A week after my visit a child was killed in that neighborhood. The experience left me chilled at the idea of living in such a terrible place. This poem was a finalist in The Faulkner Literary Contest in 2012

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It's a Zombie story scripted in a more tradional prose. Ao, say something about this, good, bad, ugly, anything.

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A horror story for your enjoyment short and sweet..... Will leave my questions to you readers at the end. Edited: 11/11/12

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A story of madness and survival that I hope sends a tingle up your spine.

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The four people in a small survival bunker may be the last humans still alive after an alien invasion. After a decade of living underground they are running out of food. What to do, what to do? Maybe celebrate Christmas a bit early. This will be a novella of about 17,000 words. A couple reviews doubt the personal nuclear power plant. Here is a link that describes it. It is proven technology ready to be installed. My story is set further in the future and the tech will be cheaper and better. http://gigaom.com/cleantech/hyperions-nuclear-in-a-box-ready-by-2013/

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I wrote with a killer headache one night and decided to post, obviously prematurely. This piece is based upon an actual event. Poetic license has been used and the names have been changed to protect the guilty. This also serves to protect this humble writer who served as jury foreman. Caution: this is a graphic portrayal, although not nearly as graphic as the pictures of a snuffed innocent child that the jury was forced to endure. As always, any and all reviews, no matter how critical, are welcome.

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Necromancer, book two of the Bloodlines series, takes us to the darker side of the magical world Alexandria Reed has found herself emmersed in. Follow up to the Awakening. Her friend's emerging powers as a necromancer has put them all in danger. An old enemy from the Cameron's past has come to exact her revenge. It will take all thier combined skills to stop the ancient evil, but will be enough to save them all?

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A man lives two lives each day: a rich white man in New York, and a poor man in Africa. Both fight to find happiness. Think is my first draft, please be nice! But give me some insight on how to make it better and tell me what you think.

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A government computer scientist is dragged into an international crisis when he helps his friend, an NSA analyst, protect a classified technology recovered 50 years ago from a damaged extraterrestrial vehicle.

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A man prone to panic attacks suffers from his worst yet when, though still alive, his heart stops beating.

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A man goes on vacation with his wife, but his wife is not who you'd expect.

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even in a multiverse.

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My take on a Faustian love story that I wrote for a little girl who loves fairy tales. This is my first installment in a series of short stories I am writing.

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I am attempting to describe a satirical novel, so the pitch may also portray a satirical tone. Feedback: Do you think the satire works, or is it just too damn silly?

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Contests are great motivator. I feel the need to preface this by saying I've been reading Stephen King lately. So, too creepy? Are you surprised at the end? Worried about my sanity? Bring on the comments! Thanks for reading :)

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This is a short story I've been editing for a while. Any respectful constructive criticism welcome.

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A very short spooky tale (Or should I say, tail?). Would love any general feedback from you experts and, as always, this is written in UK English. Big thanks in advance, Keen

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Would love any general feedback please! Cheers, Keen

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Another old story just rediscovered. I wrote it when I was going through a phase of writing stories with a 500 word limit. Does it work or could it do with a rewrite? All feedback welcome. Cheers, Keen

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Thanks to everyone for the excellent feedback on the 1st draft. I have tried to incorporate some of your suggestions in this second draft.

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This is a children's Halloween tale about a young boy who moves to a new town and has trouble making new friends--until Jim comes along....

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This is a quick first draft done on the whim of an idea. I know it needs much work to sharpen it up - any ideas on how to do this would be very welcome. Many thanks in advance... Keen

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UK spelling as always; I'd really appreciate some general feedback as it's always helpful and everyone's opinion is valued. Cheers, Keen

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This is the story of three childhood friends, cursed through their own ignorant arrogance towards the supernatural and paranormal. Charlie, Noelle and Harry decide to see how much than scare themselves by going to the forest at 3am on Halloween. There they are cursed and have to deal with the aftermath of becoming a werewolf (Charlie), berseker (Noelle) and demon (Harry). Noelle and Charlie stick together and start a detective agency to have an income. This is their story, as they look to help others, find a cure and redemption, and seek a normal life.

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Hello all. The Demon Pool is a 141,000 word supernatural thriller that offers a demonic twist on the famous legend of the Fountain of Youth. Think ChiPS (remember Erik Estrada?) meets The Exorcist only set in Southwest Florida. I am aiming for the mainstream thriller/horror market. I have an associate editor with a major publisher that I was able to pitch at the Pacific Northwest Writer's Association conference this past summer willing to read the completed manuscript (I finally submitted the fifth draft in early May 2011). The story is essentially complete, but I am sure there will be some more editing and revising. Any help with the writing or story that will help me make it better will be greatly appreciated. God bless you all and next time you visit Florida, be careful where you swim. There may be more than gators in the water.

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My Halloween offering-I know I change tempos and forms here, but it seemed to fit. Feedback welcome

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Young women are being killed in Miami, Florida.

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Just an Ordinary Saturday when the neighborhood trash is hauled away. Need to know interest level, where it bogs down (or not) suggestions for improving it as a "story." Editing probably isn't necessary.

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This is a rewrite of the first - I'm trying to dial back the gore and make it more acceptable for public radio, hopefully without sacrificing the element of horror. If you read the other, is this more clear? Still probably too disturbing for NPR? :) It's a contest - 600 words or less, and the first and last sentences are given.

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A little witch girl is caught in a maelstrom of magic and menace.

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“God won’t bother with plagues and floods. He’ll just send me.� When a serial killer is murdered while in the act of enjoying his latest victim, former LAPD detective, Hale Parrish, is asked to use his supernatural talents to investigate. His search is short-lived, because the vigilante, referring to himself as “Judgment,� tracks Hale down to reveal a life-changing secret: both of them are members of an elite bloodline created to enact divine wrath upon the wicked. While Hale decides whether his birthright is a blessing or a curse, shadows from his past emerge, forcing him to face his demons, protect his family, and take back control of his destiny.

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This is a fantasy story... It tells of ancient abilities, long forgotten by most of us, to harness the powers of light and dark matter in the here and now... But such power begets revenge, jealousy, murder, slaughter... Can it be harnessed for the good of mankind, or, can it be stopped before such powerful abilities are misused by a few...???

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Hi, I would love any feedback please. Are there any specific areas that could be improved and how? The spelling is UK English. A big thanks in advance, Keen

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Maggie and her niece, Teal, think they already have problems but when Maggie clears out her cellar for Teal to use as a bolt hole from her nagging mother, something far bigger and more terrible happens than either could ever have expected. I would like general feedback please and any will be appreciated! In UK English as usual. Best, Keen

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A story of when jealousy can take someone a step too far and the price they have to pay. I would love any feedback on this as all views are thought provoking and helpful. Spelling is British English as usual. Many thanks in advance! Keen

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It's Muriel's fortieth birthday. She decides to have an enjoyable day, alone, at the City Zoo. But she comes up against something far more threatening than escaped, wild animals, although she even enounters one of those! I am experimenting with this story as I only wrote it today (I'm exhausted) and wanted to see how something 'off the cuff' is received i.e. how much more work does it need; is it a reasonable premise etc. As usual, all the spelling is UK English. Thanks in advance, Keen

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Just days ago, Madelyn Jacobs thought not getting into any of her top three colleges or snagging the guy who serenaded the summer stars were the biggest nightmares in her life. That was before being raped by her best friend’s boyfriend. That was before being put in a coma by the jealous bitch when she misinterpreted the scene. That was before trying to function after waking up all broken and torn, only to have a demon or something bust into her bedroom and tag her as The Keeper of some freakin’ list.



When the first person of ten dies in her presence, that’s way weird. The second time, it’s bloodcurdling. She can't avoid people, she tries. She can't run, she tries. An unseen hand always ushers her to the next demise, randomly shows her the list, in windows, in mirrors, on scraps of paper, even behind closed lids, and makes her feel more powerless than ever. And the sweet singer she loves now stands at number seven. As tattered as she is, can she find a way to break the curse before others die and the lover of her heart is gone forever?



*Strong language

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Kelsie Kryder is shaken by a violent storm. The tempest has unearthed memories from her childhood she has kept buried all these years. What really happened that day twenty years ago when she met the stranger by the wrecked car? Could he really be her next of kin, or was her next of kin the voice in her own head?

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I have added the character Roselyn, Princess Evaughnlynn's cousin, Any and all criticism gladly accepted. You won’t hurt my feelings. Princess Evaughnlynn( E von lin) of Hawkland, a small northern kingdom on the island of Ellisland,was engaged at the age 3 to Prince Thrall of Anglia, an empire to the south. The story starts when she is twelve and is given a stone of power (basically a crystal that stores knowledge and amplifies psychic power). Stone bearers, or wizards, are usually middle aged and fall into three categories, dru, or healers, and priests, called wizards, and scholars, called sorcerers). Great evil is on the move and the Elf Lady Gwerydd foresees that as queen of Anglia, Evaughnlynn will be in a position to save Ellisland. She passes her the stone and dies. The dark forces move against her. Fortunately, she has three allies, her cousin Roselyn, Phylon, a man-at-arms in her father’s forces and her cousin Beowyn, the son of her father’s Captain of the Guard.

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Just some general feedback please. Anything that comes to mind and would help improve any aspect of the story! Cheers, Keen

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I would love to get back into writing horror so I'm looking for general feedback on this and if there's anything that will improve it. Thanks in advance. Keen

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This is an old poem circa 1987 that my wife recently unearthed from an old, forgotten diary. This is somewhere in between a poem and a short story. I plan to include this, along with "Bane" in a gothic werewolf novel I am currently working. I am seeking any and all feedback. Thanks for taking the time to read, and hopefully, review as well.

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With the attack that almost cost her life, Brenna James finds herself in a world that she never expected. Hunted and afraid, she's in for the fight of her life.

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The pollutants of industry produce dire consequences, especially when manufacturing designer genes. This is a horror story. If insects make you feel too creepy, you might want to "bug out" of this one.

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I have recently begun cleaning up my past work using everyone’s suggestions. I wrote this last year and I cleaned it up a bit. Im looking for further help anything people can suggest will be appreciated.

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Here it is - part two of my horror story. Let me know what you think. Thanks!

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Hi everyone. I wanted to try my hand at a horror story. I wanted to see if I could make it truly scary. I kinda think it is, but please let me know if you think so. This is part one of a two-part story. I tried to keep it under 5,000 words but I just couldn't do it. Summary: A haunted house reality TV show crew have a problem - ratings are down and they need to find a cheap location and make it really scary. The house has no problem with that. But they be in for more than they bargained for...

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Siera begins to fear her life when those around her start to die. The detective on the case is floundering and falling for the person he is trying to protect. Can he solve the case before the vampire killer decides to claim his ultimate prize? It's my first draft of the novel (placing it up as i go), so it can be quiet rough. I'm hoping to get the main concepts and plot down and then develop it more, especially with your comments :). I would love feedback in all regards to this story, including any suggestions on where i can improve to make this story more catchy, faster, better character development, or generally better, please let me know! I generally suck at grammar etc so any tips on things i am doing wrong or could be improved are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

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This is the second part of brother and sister duo, Toby and Alaska's foray into the House of Bones. I got some really helpful feedback from Part One and I'm planning on making the changes when I've collected any suggestions for this second part. My main worry about this story is whether it is too nasty. I know horror stories can be the stuff of nightmares but not sure if I went too far with this one. Anyway, all responses will be greatly appreciated. It's UK spelling as usual. Thanks, Keen

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In a modern era where magic is as real as technology, black magic is a more potent threat to civilization than terrorism or rogue nations. I'm interested in receiving advice on word choice, phrasing, story flow, plot decisions, and anything else the reader can think of that will improve the story.

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Jessica if fleeing her psychopathic husband. Along with her seven year old daughter Meagan, she decides to start a new life in the small town of Hope Springs, Oklahoma. The only problem is a pack of werewolves are secretly killing people in the area. Ebon Moon is a chilling novel of werewolf terror.

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This was just a quick flight of imagination; possibly slated to be embedded into a future novel. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated.

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This poem is dedicated to all of my friends and relatives who no longer walk this earth. Any and all feedback of all levels is desired.

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NOT YOUR USUAL DINNER AT EIGHT

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Billy Cooper had a secret never to be told.

In Britain and Ireland a widespread traditional rhyme records the myth that seeing magpies predicts the future, depending on how many are seen.

This short story is a modern day spin on an old version of that rhyme that I discovered for the first time. It won runner up prize in the 2008 www.YouReadOnline.com site and was subsequently printed in the short story compendium called "A Thousand Trembling Leaves and other short stories"

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Not sure what to do with this, probably works better as a short story, but decided to try it as a poem. I would appreciate any helpful feedback. It needs lots of tweaking.

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I'm on a role

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Appendages rubbed raw a bright bloody red...

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Xuxiki you have inspired me again with your piece "together forever."

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Taking a page from Poe...shades of The Tell-Tale Heart and The Black Cat.

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Every now and them I like to try my hand and pen at horror, so here we go.

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A man is offered a new life to replace his old one.

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'He was listening to Mozart as he operated on me.'

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I knew this boy when I was a child. My dad and I would go on a dove hunt every year at a friend's farm. The family described in this story lived on his farm as tenants. The boy in the story was a fetcher of killed doves for us. He told me his father and grandfather were the same. I felt compelled to write this because since he died I'm sure no one has thought a second about him.

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NEVER SWIM ALONE AT NIGHT

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Yes, this really happened; no I didn't exaggerate.

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The sounds of shattering glass, a brief scream, and a hollow ‘thunk’ looped continuously in his mind like the background music for a cheap porno.

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