Content: historical

Summary:

This is a short story I wrote recently for a class. I would like to 'perfect' it, so any feedback would be appreciated.

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Summary:

On a snowy day in January 1985, Sanaz’ husband finally agrees to meet her to sign the divorce papers. Before any pen meets paper, he pulls out a gun, shoots her and then himself. When she survives and he does not, Sanaz faces both an end and a beginning. The novel proceeds with alternate passages: Sanaz’s teens up to this trauma, and the time of the shooting forward.

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Prologue introduces key characters and hopefully foreshadows conflict to come Interested in feedback on Narrative hook Pacing Potential suspense/reader interest Reaction to characters

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The story is based upon real facts but with the added writers license to indulge. Romance, and intrigue are part of the story. The development of the harbour in a remote Cornish village, the leading figure of this area was a Solicitor and a Banker, the Cornish family of long standing with connections to the throne. He has an affair with a male clerk, although married, not very satisfactory and his wife eventually meets an officer in the Royal Navy, whose frigate regularly berths at Georgetown, they immediately strike up a relationship. Poverty in a Fishing Village, a hamlet of nine houses and the wonderful backdrop of the cornish scenery provides the setting for this gentle story. Feedback: constructive critism please, any weaknesses please point out. development suggestions. Thanks: I would like to thank those of you that have taken the trouble to give an opinion and it has been taken on board. The rest of the book is still under construction, and yes I do use too many words. But the editing is still underway. I have only just realised that I could alter the layout, still learning you see. Ooops!

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Revised: The first four chapters have been revised taking reviews into consideration. Also, the original Chapter 3 is now Chapter 2, while 4 is 3, and 2 has the 4 slot - all of which will effect the attached reviews. Does the shuffling help or hinder? This novel is set within an orphanage in North Carolina during the mid fifties and sixties. Though it is basically true, the characters are composite and the time lines may be occasionally altered with some literary license thrown into the mix. I am looking for ANYTHING which might improve the readability, especially with regards to characters, dialogue, description, etc. Thanks!

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Summary:

Luke Livingston is a pirate by default rather than design. Stealing the cargo ship 'Elysium' would bring him quick wealth and possibly the hangman's noose, but marrying the young woman who's dowry paid for it would make it legally his. He sees an oportunity to begin doing business on the right side of the law, but will the pious young Englishwoman see past his notorious career to what is in his heart?

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