Content: fiction

Summary:

To impress a girl, an ugly young man undertakes a robbery, and inadvertently kills someone. This sets off a chain of events which changes the course of history. This is an early work of mine which has undergone significant rewrites, and I am on the verge of sending it to market. I would like some honest opinions about its readability, characterizations, idea content, and literary merit (if any).

Chapters:

Summary:

Hi TNBW group! I've been working really hard at getting this story clean and tight, and I know that there is more I can do. I'm currently starting to edit and rewrite some things, along with adding more detail. I'm hoping to get some good feedback on what's working, what's not, etc. I'll take it all, the good the bad and the ugly. I will return reviews as well. Thanks again everyone. Cate

Chapters:

Summary:

Alert Trekkers! If you are a Star Trek fan, particularly for “The Next Generation” (TNG) series, I think (hope) you will enjoy this novel. You can expect a solid story from the TNG genre that follows the TNG universe; the same familiar cast of characters, and even bad guys. I did take some creative license, but did not stray from those guidelines set by Paramount. Of course, I am counting on you, fellow Trekker, to provide me with corrective feed back to make this more enjoyable for other fans. The Battle to Save the Federation of Planets Captain Picard and crew is given a relatively simple mission of escorting two aliens, Centrusians, from a recently discovered planetary system, back to their home planet to ratify a charter with the Federation of Planets that legalizes their entry into the Federation of Planets as full members. As the aliens board the Enterprise, Counselor Troi senses some undefined evil about the two Centrusians and warns Captain Picard. However, the two aliens prove to everyone, except Troi, their intentions are good and there is no evil (or is there?). Enter the Romulans, who are also vying for an agreement with the Centrusians, because the Centrusians hold the key to the survival of the Federation of Planets, and the Romulans assisted by the Tal Shiar, know it—Picard does not. Troi continues to be besieged by something evil and no one else can corroborate her accusations nor understand her deterioration into near insanity. Picard must unravel Troi’s mystery, and is ultimately faced with saving the Federation of Planets from extinction at the hand of the Romulan Star Empire. The Centrusians are the key to the survival, but the battle to save the Federation is grim as Picard becomes embroiled with the Centrusians over an attack of their religion, alleged military action taken against them, and being charged with breaking the Prime Directive. Please let me know if you think I know my stuff, if you enjoyed the story and think it is "original," and of course please lambaste me with feedback good or bad.

Chapters:

Summary:

This short piece was for a flash fiction competition and I really don't know what, if anything, to do with it now. There was a hard word limit of I think 800 or 850, but if I work on it some more I can extend it. It is a short short though so I probably wouldn't want to make it longer than around 1,500. I'd be interested in what folks think on length, plot, characters, POV etc.

Chapters:

Summary:

A young professor loses his job. . . Any feedback would be appreciated.

Chapters:

Summary:

This is a very short (flash) piece I worked on in a writing class over the summer. I'm really not sure if it's a 'story' or a 'vignette' so I'd be interested in thoughts on that question as well as other general comments. Also is it too 'cutesy' to live?

Chapters:

Summary:

This is one I have had sitting around awhile. I need to clean it up and finish it. Any and all feedback, positive and negative, is always welcome.

Chapters:

Summary:

When Charity and Adrian's opposite worlds collide twin souls are forced to face their connected pasts in the present to save their future... *LA*

Chapters:

Summary:

Rewrite. It is horror, but literary? I am lost in the forest of the trees after writing this and I chopped away with my tense ax, but can't see the clear sky yet. ≈≈≈ Another version of this is coming down the chute soon. This is the first of 15 (with 2 versions = 30) short stories I will be rewriting for an envisioned book of short stories. ≈≈≈ This is not a true story. I CAN'T MAKE CORRECTION SINCE IT IS 5.87K, THUS IT IS IN THE DREADED RED STATE- måx

Chapters:

Summary:

The plight of an addict. All comments welcome.

Chapters:

Summary:

A story about how deep some family secrets can be and how far brothers can go to protect each other. I am a new writer and this is just part of a much larger story, but am going to start in small peices. I need specific writing feedback since I am new.

Chapters:

Summary:

As children Jennifer Holcomb and her older brother, Micah were abducted. Both kids were raised and led to believe that the woman they lived with was their mother. After Sandra Holcomb dies unexpectantly, the pair find out the truth about the woman they believed was their mother as they try to handle her estate. Strangely enough, the pair has already met the family that they seek, but it's through strange and twisted circumstances that will test the nature of family and true love and morality. I guess I'm just toying with the idea...not 100% sure where it will go, but curious to see. Again, it's not going to be appropriate for children..and some of the topics tackled could really cause people some discomfort...but that's what I want people to do is just think about the "What if that happened to me..." So thanks for reading, I'll take the good, the bad and the ugly.

Chapters:

Summary:

A post-apocolyptic tribe of women survives through neuron regeneration implants and assisted reproductive techniques. Men? Neither needed nor wanted, except for one thing. *** I wrote this story purely on a lark, to escape "Client Relations," I suppose. I grew up loving Heinlein, Bradbury, Ellison, Asimov, Herbert... so I had a fun time with it. It's been submitted to 2 or 3 publications. I'm posting it here: (i) to needle the most sexist men on this site (wait - who?); (ii) to see if anyone thinks it's as fun to read as it was for me to write; (iii) for suggestions on what publications might like it; and (iv) for feedback and comments, of course!! But it's item (i) - oh yeah, I'm talking to YOU! - that inspired me to post it, right here, right now. : )

Chapters:

Summary:

A man struggles against his enemies, seen and unseen. A 5K word story complete in this posting. Would appreciate feedback on characterization, pace, plot. Do you enjoy the story?

Chapters:

Summary:

This is a tale of reconciliation between a father and his son set against the backdrop of a Caribbean Nine Night (a wake) ritual that calls their ancestors back from the past.

Chapters:

Summary:

Both Sides of the Ocean is the story of an Irish-American family that lives and grows through the most tumultuous times in both nations histories. The Famine in Ireland and our American Civil War provide the canvas on which this story is developed. These two nation defining events overlapped each other and defined our respective nations as it did many families of the time. As a first time author who is starting on what I have planned as a three volume series I am looking for as much feedback as possible on everything from plot and character development to general story line.

Chapters:

Summary:

This is a romance that is set in the 80's between a young child who meets a young man about to become a mega rock star and a friendship that spans for years.

Chapters:

Summary:

Machinery introduces the reader to an amazing scientific possibility through a rather... controversial (if not apocryphal) narrative. This installment is an introduction of sorts, hoping to spark your curiosity about both the science and the narrator. I appreciate your most brutally honest feedback. Thanks!

Chapters:

Summary:

What would you wear for the apocalypse? When Grace and her friends survive a Short Gamma Ray Burst that decimates the majority of the southern hemisphere's human population, fashion, uni, her band, and her old life become the least of her worries. Just surviving is enough of a headache. Her journey north, from the city to the country through a nuclear winter, and eventually to refugee ships fleeing Australia for Europe, sees her face sickness, starvation, fear and the death of loved ones, as well as the challenges of leadership and the miserable treatment meted out to refugees by people smugglers. In a sink or swim situation, how will this teen find the strength to survive? Thankfully, Grace's one true strength has always been her ability to "float".

Chapters:

Summary:

tracks wings junkie death

Chapters:

Summary:

They tried to kill me. I was only protecting my wife's good name. I was insanely mad with jealousy. Now I can only smell and hear the world around me. I was a good man before this happened... why me? Why did this have to happen to me? Think you have bad neighbors? Wait until you meet Robert Rubio's. No zombies, no vampires, no supernatural events... only a very wicked human monster who will go to the extremes to achieve resolution for his perverted idea of love.  ÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Chapters:

Summary:

SHADOW WOLF SERIES: Remembrance (Cameron&Sophia), The Three Kingdoms (Aedan&Kathleen-no longer Bianca), Cursed (Ian&Kirrah). BOOK 1: Remembrance: Sophia considers her life pretty much normal, that is until she befriends a gigantic wolf, who happens to push her down a waterfall. Technically, the fall wasn’t so bad and she would have forgiven her four legged friend, but when she emerges from the water, she finds herself several hundred years in the past, in Scotland of all places, abandoned by the wolf. Lucky for her, she is rescued by a handsome Scotsman, or so the arrogant lout says. Really, what’s wrong with the man? One minute he drives her mad with his kisses, the next he accuses her of being a witch. Cameron’s nights are plagued by dreams of a spirit, begging him to remember something long forgotten, and his days are tormented by a lovely stranger, who very well could be a spy from the enemy clan. What is a laird to do? Keeping the lass will only anger his mistress and cause him great distraction at the time of war, but the thought of sending her away leaves him barren. When Sophia saves his life, he learns that maybe there is more to life than empty passion and the sound of clashing steel.

Chapters:

Summary:

This is "part 2" of a long short story that continues to run away on me. Due to publishing restrictions (5000 words only), it has been and will continue to be posted in "parts".

Chapters:

Summary:

What happens when an American Hellion meets A half Scottish Devil? Nothing short of trouble…. Wild and free spirited Tiana Twain, American heiress, has no intention of letting any man rule her life, especially an Englishman. She plans on returning home to Virginia after the London season, claiming her inheritance and living happy without male dictation. Yet when danger follows her from the continent, she is thrown together with the irresistibly handsome Callum, Viscount Branton and sparks fly. Callum is in need of a proper English wife with nary a smudge on her reputation or he will lose his inheritance. He finds such a lady in Lady Amelia, whose cousin is an American hellion of the first order, and the only woman who stirs his roguish heart. Unknowingly, Tiana made a powerful enemy, one with secrets he would kill to protect. When Tiana is nearly abducted, Callum knows he would do anything to protect the willful heiress, even give her his name in marriage.

Chapters:

Summary:

OK, y'all, no more sad stuff! This is something I'd like to see published as the text of a children's book. I think the rhymes lend themselves to some fanciful illustrations. I welcome your input. Thank you. P.S. factoid-something resembling a fact; unverified (often invented) information that is given credibility because it appeared in print

Chapters:

Summary:

This is a children's Halloween tale about a young boy who moves to a new town and has trouble making new friends--until Jim comes along....

Chapters:

Summary:

This has been updated to better show (I hope) the relationship between Blake, and his daughter.

Chapters:

Summary:

Jackson has finally decided the only way to escape the kind of love that hurts is to move away from the family that has always loved him. He kept both the hurt he experienced and his reason for leaving to himself, and although he isn't sure he is making the best decision, he was willing to take the risk. I welcome all feedback. Thank you

Chapters:

Summary:

HORROR-HUMOR-CRIME-MYSTERY-THRILLER I published this story to site for Halloween Contest a month back. Did some revision and re-posted for Halloween fun. I did publish this to: The Fringe (September), Strange Tales (Anthology) and the November issue of eFiction Magazine. The characters are all in early twenties, except Bernie (42) and it seemed to appeal to readers in their early 20's , based on publishers confirmation words and the nature/genre of publications. This is a chapter from my currently workshop-ed novel here on TNBW, The Thatcher Head (Chapter 25). I revised chapter to make it more short-story-able.

Chapters:

Summary:

"A Matter of Life and Death" is a tale of a tiny Midwestern town harboring a dastardly secret, festering to an ultimate showdown a quarter of a century after the story begins. Friendships are questioned, lifes are ruined, some lost, all with an isolated farmhouse in Fosterburg, Ill., as the muse for the saga.

Chapters:

Summary:

Well, this is a story fragment I just sort of hammered through in one of those mad periods when you get a story idea and rush to nail down the opening to it, in the hope that someday you will return to it and develop it. I am considering the idea for my next entry in the L.Ron Hubbard contest. My last try only placed in the top ten percent. So close, yet so far away. Ah, life is cliche eh:) tear it up please. Hammer, pick, and spotlights all welcome. Thanks for reading for me!

Chapters:

Summary:

Its hard when you have to enter a state of hibernation and there is a succubus hunting you. Then again, a few millennium can weigh on a person. Gotta sleep sometime right? I am hoping to polish this first draft. its missing something, but i can't tell what. Thanks in advance for lowering the hammer and letting me know anything you might not like, or see that needs attention. Thanks guys:)

Chapters:

Summary:

Do you remember then first time a childish day dream shattered in the real world? Please let me know anything about the story that didn't capture you. I am trying to polish my flash fiction skills a bit. Thanks:)

Chapters:

Summary:

This was a go at writing a short story idea in poem form to flesh it out. Falls apart at end but this gave me direction for short story.

Chapters:

Summary:

An idea that I had - possibly for a longer story, possibly for a novella/poetry combination thing, possibly as something to be filed away. Comments regarding those possibilities are welcome as are any other thoughts.

Chapters:

Summary:

This story concerns the same psychopath mentioned in my Locked - In short story. I must warn you that you may find this read disturbing. I wanted a villain to rival the most dastardly in literature. Fritz-Marilyn Mann is a Frankenstein monster, very evil at the core, born wicked, a eunuch and I think totally unique in fiction. This character is from, The Swiftness of the Sea. I thought I might shock a few reviewers into helping me with this and Chapters 1-6 (that I have also posted). Locked - In short story is actually cChapter 1... egads, why do I make things so complicated? I think the chapter stands on its own, but the one back story needed is: Fritz murdered his twin sister and had her vagina transplanted into his body in Thailand by Dr. Chop-chop (real name Dr. Choochai) so he could sincerely pursue his romantic love for his adopted brother Oz Osmund.

Chapters:

Summary:

Fidelity is a notion that at its most abstract level implies a truthful connection to a source or sources. Its original meaning dealt with loyalty and attentiveness to one's duty to a lord or a king or a... This is 2nd story recently revised and will soon write as a film script. This is also my first short story. Written in 2010.

Chapters:

Summary:

They tried to kill me. I was only protecting my wife's good name. I was insanely mad with jealousy. Now I can only smell and hear the world around me. I was a good man before this happened... why me? Why did this have to happen to me?

Chapters:

Summary:

A Brooklyn teacher named Charlie Maiks retells at gunpoint the story behind his current predicament while in a separate but related story line a character's life in Argentina during the Dirty War develops into one of the root causes of the Charlie's nightmare.

Chapters:

Summary:

I have added the character Roselyn, Princess Evaughnlynn's cousin, Any and all criticism gladly accepted. You won’t hurt my feelings. Princess Evaughnlynn( E von lin) of Hawkland, a small northern kingdom on the island of Ellisland,was engaged at the age 3 to Prince Thrall of Anglia, an empire to the south. The story starts when she is twelve and is given a stone of power (basically a crystal that stores knowledge and amplifies psychic power). Stone bearers, or wizards, are usually middle aged and fall into three categories, dru, or healers, and priests, called wizards, and scholars, called sorcerers). Great evil is on the move and the Elf Lady Gwerydd foresees that as queen of Anglia, Evaughnlynn will be in a position to save Ellisland. She passes her the stone and dies. The dark forces move against her. Fortunately, she has three allies, her cousin Roselyn, Phylon, a man-at-arms in her father’s forces and her cousin Beowyn, the son of her father’s Captain of the Guard.

Chapters:

Summary:

The story begins with mystery writer, William Tyler, contemplating his life in the midst of a citywide blackout. When he is confronted by a figure from his past, he makes a decision that will change his life forever.

Chapters:

Summary:

Here is a chapter from a larger work in progress. Originally written as a theatrical play, this story is inspired by actual events. I like to bring it out once a year or so and play with it... searching for an ending. Any feedback would be appreciated!

Chapters:

Summary:

Tiamat Ashtad, or Tash as she is called, is thrown into the middle of a high profile kidnapping when the suspect targets her. She's got to reach inside and learn who she really is to rescue the children and save herself. I'm looking for feedback on everything. Don't worry about being gentle I've got thick skin. I do however ask that you respect myself and my characters. I'm here to learn and grow. :)

Chapters:

Summary:

Feedback please

Chapters:

Summary:

Because this novel does not fit into any specific genre, I am going with Commercial Fiction. It has equal elements of Romance, Love Story and Drama. Suspense and humor are no strangers to the story, either. To me, it is a drama fueled by the quest of two lovers to find one another after a very lengthy separation. Two young lovers, Randy Harris and Brenda Chandler, are separated by totally unexpected circumstances beyond their control. They are taken from their small-towm roots of rural Kansas, Randy to Georgia and Brenda to Texas. The year is 1963. Weeks turn into months, months into years. Each starts a new life of his and her own. However, rarely does one completley forget about the other. But Randy and Brenda face substantial, and sometimes horrific, challenges in their new, seaparate lives. The drama and tension hover around every corner. Randy goes to jail, charged with the brutal slaying of his dearest friend. And that's not the only major trauma in his young life. Brenda's life moves in a most unexpected direction for a naive farm girl. She has her own tragedy to deal with. The untimely deaths of people they love torment both of them. In Brenda's case, the death leaves her with a heavy burden of guilt she can't seem to shake. Each enjoys moments of joy and rewards. But it seems there is always something lurking around the corner that wants to dampen those moments. But you will fall in love with the quirky humor of old Pop Johnson and the compassion of Bruce Armstrong. They are sure to make you smile between the tragedies and challenges. And there are a couple of places where you might want to have a Kleenex handy. Pop's story of his early days in Georgie will almost certainky bring a tear to your eyes. Randy's return from Vietnam culminates in a gut-wrenching discovery. There is quite an unexpected twist at the end. You probably won't see it coming! All comments, suggestions and nits are welcome. And thanks in advance for your time to read and comment, should you choose to. PS: The improper grammar in some of the dialougue is intentional.

Chapters:

Summary:

An unemployed man finds a new path to financial gain, until love trips him up.

Chapters:

Summary:

“Bad sheep�? daughter, Maya Cooper is pissed. Not only did her husband manage to get himself detained at the request of the state of California for the murder of his business partner, he also managed to leave her and fourteen-year-old daughter, Amberly, destitute. Snubbed by the in-laws and their friends and unable to find employment in LA, Maya decides to pack up her sullen teenager and head back to her hometown and into her parents’ home. Returning home is the last thing she wants to do. Her mother, Diana Ventimiglia, was the prime reason why she left town. Her older, “good sheep�? perfect sister, Marta, was reason Number Two. Marta’s self-righteous attitude and the parading of her two perfect progeny, Max and Ben, is more than Maya can bear. Add to the mix the irritating next-door neighbor, Chad, former high school classmate, football star and perennial thorn in her side, and the recipe for disaster has just been rachetted up a notch. Both Maya and Amberly miss their SoCal lifestyle, but things are different now. With the help of new friends and old, both mother and daughter learn that all that truly glitters may not be gold.

Chapters:

Summary:

A short novel about a tragic romantic triangle. Carla, Tom, Steven...Two will die. Note: the reviews, good and bad, were made about an earlier Chapter 1. So please deal just with the story as it is now. (Novel is finished; I'm doing a global edit; so I put part of it on this site to get feedback.)

Chapters:

Summary:

An odd 'ting, ting, ting' coming through the woods draws a passerby to have a closer look at an abandoned homestead. A woman's brooch causes the reader to say, "Hmmmmm."

Chapters:

Summary:

Walking on my way to lunch one sunny day, I look down at my feet and suffer an experience that leaves me filled with glorious joy and wrenching pain and realize I have an amazingly ability I'd suppressed all these years, because of Ma...

Chapters:

Summary:

***WINNER OF THE 2007 TNBW OCEAN FLASH COMPETITION***Linda returns to the small sea front hut the family owned and enjoyed when they were children and that she has now inherited. Her plan is to sell the property to help buy herself a new future. But sometimes the future can be found in the past.

Chapters:

Summary:

There's a doorway into the not-too-distant future. It's right there... you can see it at the end of the hall. Behind it, the matrix of thinking computers and lustful futurists bent on creating the perfect human being. Lean down and take a look through the KEYHOLE. --- AS A RESPECTFUL REQUEST, PLEASE START ANY REVIEWING WITH CHAPTER ONE.

Chapters:

Summary:

Warning: this novel has at least four levels, is full of sex and violence, and is very fast paced. The Well of Women is at risk, as is the Tourney which Rhiannon wishes to use for pride and peace. But there are riots against offworlders, who the people blame for the rash of mother hate that is spreading through the land. And there is the mysterious Maelan--supposed guardian of the Well, whose malfunction may explain the evil that is afoot.

Chapters:

Summary:

This is an article written as part of a series on rural happenings. I plan to submit it to a magazine of some sort. British, Americans and others - no, this town is not in your country. Fellow Australians, I will tell you where it is on payment of a hefty - nay, massive - bribe !

Chapters: