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Any and all comments would be greatly appreciated if that is, you haven't listen to my warning in the title.

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Lost In Transition is the story about relationships. It is the story of a non traditional family whose Father is in the process of gender transformation to become a woman, while his wife is becoming a man. Caught in between is a precocious 13yr old girl who cannot stand either of them. Believe it or not, this story is based on a true life family in Wyoming. It is a tragic story in reality, but I have chosen to lighten it up and it is largely a sarcastic comedy told from the POV of the teen daughter Christye. My primary concern here is that Christye sounds like and acts like her age, and not that of a man of any age. I would like to know if my story is compelling. If it hooks you, what hooked you? What works and what doesn't? If you would like to edit as well, I would be happy to learn from you. Hopefully it won't be too much of a mess. This is my attempt to return to the group after a long absence, and I appreciate any and all readers. Cheers, Lost Soul

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‡‡‡ HUMOR-SCIENCE FICTION ‡‡‡ THANKS! ¬¬¬¬¬ måx¬¬¬¬

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I'm submitting this to the Writer's Digest short story competition. I've never done anything like this before, so I'm very excited, even if nothing comes of it. The limit is 1500 words and I'm at 1200 so I can add 300 words if I need to; so tell me if I need to. I have fixed all the things that people said I should fix. But there could always be more! *** I actually changed it just now to clarify who Mia really is. I may have ruined it. Let me know!

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This novel follows a year in the life of a recently divorced, software consultant, Edward Kale. Written in the style of a romantic comedy, Edward finds himself flung headlong into a mid-life crisis, despite his best intentions. He sees it coming and yet seems unable to resist its allure. These experiences prove beneficial ultimately, as they allow him to move on from the divorce, and come to terms with his ex-wife, his daughter, and his career. I welcome any insights or feedback, particularly as they relate to character development or credibility.

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The BOWW Autumn Tour Route

The entire novel is posted.

This is Babyface Fire, a work of comedic fantasy, the second book in the Geffia series. This book involves a new story many new characters, so while it helps to have read the Adventure Tournament first to get some of the references, it's not required.

Loebo Anders is a member of the adventuring company known as the Chosen Squad. Aside from sharing daring escapades with his friends and acquiring treasure, his main desire in life is to marry the lovely Alyssa Blume. However, when he sets out to rescue her from her overprotective father and take her away with him, things don't exactly go as planned. Loebo finds out a bounty has been placed on his head... by his own grandmother!

While the rest of the Squad tries to unravel the circumstances behind this mysterious bounty, Loebo falls in with a wrestler-turned-adventurer named Bleg. Before he can return Loebo safely to Foeny City, they decide to help out a female wrestler named Syrana by escorting her to her new job at BOWW, Bleg's old stomping grounds and the premier pro wrestling league in all of Bolognia. While Bleg confronts his past, Loebo suddenly finds himself in the middle of the biggest wrestling storyline of the year.

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This is my second attempt at this. IF YOU READ IT, PLEASE COMMENT!!! I've tried to add more visuals about the character, and adding his thoughts should make the piece funnier. I also changed the ending with a few quick words. IS IT FUNNY????? That's the big question. If you read it at all, please let me know and fill in the rest of the review with x x x x x 'til you get to 50 words.

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This is the monologue of a comedian who is doing his first performance on stage about meeting a girl on Match.com. I would like ideas on how to make it more humorous, and whether some of the "valley girl" language has to be removed to make it sound more like a male comedian. Also, let me know if it's R or PG.

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The novel will be released for sale on my facebook page and on Amazon on August 2, 2011. As such, I have disabled everything except the first three chapters. If you are interested in purchasing, please like my facebook page:
Nicholas Andrews - Independent Author

This is a work of comedic fantasy, so be prepared for a lot of crude, rude and "dude" humor. This is the first book to take place in my world of Geffia. Brief synopsis:

Remy Fairwyn is an enthusiastic youngster, whose ambition is to travel the land in search of fame and treasure, righting wrongs and winning glory along the way. Unfortunately, he's currently enrolled in a seemingly neverendi...ng program of education at Foeny University. And he has a father who disapproves of such pursuits. And he happens to have a mind more suited to a pack mule than a great warrior. But that all changes when the kingdom's powers-that-be introduce an Adventure Tournament, with instant fame being the prize at the end.

This story contains (1) corrupt organization looking to use the kingdom's woes to swell its own coffers. Contains your daily requirement of Feminist Healers, Professional Wrestlers, Drama Kings, Pompous Asses, Narcoleptic Thieves, Overbearing Fathers, Ambiguous Relations, Runaway Treasure Chests, Flying Shoes and a pinch of Cute Kitty Monsters Willing to Devour Any and All. Also contains one (1) Remy, perhaps the most ill-suited adventurer to ever wield a big piece of wood. Stir the brain well before reading; side effects may include side-splitting laughter, mild cases of forehead slapping and erectile dysfunction. Do not read if pregnant.

Will Remy be able to confront all these elements and cook up an unlikely victory? Or is his participation a recipe for disaster?

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Atticus Wynn and Rosemary Sanchez's relationship was already strained by their cultural and political differences, but now Atticus's Ex, the enigmatic Claire Rousseau, has burst back into his life, trailing a wake of mayhem and murder, and wielding an explosive secret about Rosemary who has a tragic secret of her own . . .

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Anything, especially does the ending work. Thanks!

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The name of the the town at the base of the mountain where the Dragons are is now "Little Al"

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I've noted several specualtive fiction publishers complaining they don't get much humor, so I dusted this old story off and am considering submitting. Please let me know where it could stand to be improved. Part 2 will be posted Monday latest.

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For Wiggy! No not an award winning piece of writing! Just a silly one from a grandmother of five celebrating two years on this site! fifty six hundred reviews so suffer through this one! ha... Play on word

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Beloved, aging comedian Buddy White signs a deal to play Vegas for one final performance, a fantastic send-off segueing into a well-deserved retirement. He wants to give his loyal audience a last memorable performance. Without warning he is shuffled off to Hell by mistake. When the misanthrope demon that grabbed him realizes the error, he abandons him outside the gate. Buddy can't get in. So he sets off to find his way back home. He follows the Acheron upriver on a journey that grows increasingly bizarre. Meanwhile, Hell's authorities learn of the blunder and send out a posse to round up the errant comedian. At the same time, Heaven discovers the mistake and dispatches a Chorus of Angels to find Buddy and rush him to Heaven. Buddy is determined to elude them all and get back to Earth. He's never missed a show or broken a promise in his entire professional life and he isn't about to start now. The prospect of a dead comedian playing to a live audience in Vegas would badly upset the status quo so Heaven and Hell join forces, determined to stop him. As Buddy perseveres, his natural cheer and success at evading the bungling bureaucrats of the afterlife begins to bring hope to the damned. By degrees he finds himself at the head of a revolution. All Buddy wants is to go home.

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Yes, this really happened; no I didn't exaggerate.

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