Content: children

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REVISED to include these picture book musts: sound words, structure repetition, action verbs I envision this as a picture book for older children, 8-12, something a teacher might read on the first day of school as a lighthearted reminder for students to keep a neat desk.

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From the infantile existence of our vast universe unto the dawning of the next day, we have experienced the ability of God to take care of us. With the dawning of each day, His mercy is undoubtedly revealed. He constructed this vast biosphere just to house us, planted a lush and nourishing garden to provide for us, and even suspended, way before any of us were thought of, the sun and moon in the sky. Today, God continues to inspire us to reach for higher heights if we just take time to stop and listen to his voice.

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A possibility for C Lee Brown's "Visitor to Sandahl" project. This is the first part of a 2000-3000 word story. If you already read/reviewed the last post, you may skip the first 500 words and start at the '##' mark. Or you can read it all, to get a feel for how it's fitting together. All feedback is welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read & comment.

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I am hoping this is the final revision. I have made major changes, mostly toward the end of the story. I hope to have some old Callie fans stop by and let me know if they like the changes. I also wish to grab some new readers who will let me know what they think.

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This is a story about a woman struggling with her drug and alcohol-addicted son. The story is a very rough first draft, and I'm just not sure what to do with it yet. Any constructive feedback as I look forward to the revision process is needed and appreciated.

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A summer at camp provide the backdrop for a child overcoming his fear of heights and at the same time finding friends where there weren't any before.

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What we are exposed to as children can have a lasting impression, and actually shape what we accept as "OK" in our future relationships.

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Poem about nature, children, joy ... does it conjure up memories? Is it visual and easily understood? Does it read like a short story in its presentation? Any and all feedback

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A poem in the form of a song for Haiti... No reviews are needed as only my own way of handling sadness I feel watching the horror... Not a critical piece of writing. Just heartfelt feelings that keep racing through my head. So little distance between Haiti and our own shores. How in God's name was this allowed to happen. Not the earthquake but the very conditions that led to so many deaths.

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I've decided to try out a series of 'vignettes', which are memoir, though might not be in the same 'order' of chapters as I'm now posting. I'll have to do some rearranging at some point. But for now, rather than upload them all as short stories, I'll start with this for chapter one--and dread the day when I have to figure out how to rearrange. (NOTE: While the title is a shout out to my favorite author, it's a tentative one at present-though it does sum up my life quite nicely on some days!) I'm the mom of two autistic boys, and these are our stories.

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ok! I'm trying some free verse ~ like some people have suggested :) I was at the playground with my son and made some obs. enjoy!

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The Premise of ‘The Gold Mine.’ Jacob Townsend inherits a a gold mine in the Sierra Nevadas, from his Great-Great-Great-Grandparents, Tom Watson and Eliza Townsend. In the box containing the hundred and fifty year old legal documents is a map made by Eliza to the location of the mine and a diary written by Eliza. The innovations she designed and had built would amaze engineers of today. Scheming relatives would like to take a peek at that map. Living in present day Dallas, Texas, Jacob takes a business trip to Caracas, Venezuela with his friend, Jessica Lopez. While there, a copy of the map is stolen from their hotel room and a flight in a small plane to a local gold mine is sabotaged, forcing the pilot to land on a river in the jungles of Venezuela. The pilot and the two of them trek through the forest and raft down the river trying to get back to civilization. They encounter a Drug Gang, who hold them hostage. What Jacob does to escape will stay as a nightmare with him as long as he lives. Back in the US, more relatives make attempts to steal the map. An attack on Jacob leads him to a Drug Lord, Manos Santos in Brazil who has connections in the US. Jacob seeks help from the CIA who turn him down, but not before meeting an agent named Marilyn who falls for him. Now he has two women on his hands. He goes to Rio de Janeiro at the height of the Mardi Gras Festival to track down Santos and confront him. At the shoot-out in Santos mansion, Jacob is wounded. Marilyn makes a surprising appearance and helps him escape. Jessica is furious but thankful. The diary leads Jessica to believe that Eliza and Tom may have perished in the mine. With a GPS system Jacob and Jessica trace their way to the mine. Using modern safety suits they penetrate the interior of the mine to find a few surprises. One of them being the body of someone they know, overcome by poisonous gases. Now they know who had the map stolen. Another chapter in the diary leads them to an amazing find.

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A commentary on the mislead people decrying Obama's speech to our school children. To quote Shakespeare, "What fools these mortals be."

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An unknown entity begins writing letters to the editor. R-Restricted

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Random thoughts this cool morning! Reflections on grandchildren ... children in general All feedback is appreciated.. trying to hone skills

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This is meant to be a children's story with illustrations--I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post it, but I'd still be interested in any feedback I get. I'm not thrilled with the writing--I think it falls flat. Maybe I should scrap and start over. . .

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The specter of divorce looms over the leader of a group of neighborhood kids. I had changed the title to "Wish Rock" and then changed it back again--I'd like feedback on which title works better for the story. As far as the story itself, any and all feedback welcome, and feel free to be tough!

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A 7-year-old elf growing up at Santa Claus' toy shop at the North Pole accidentally causes big trouble. But Santa fixes it and gives the boy a new job that turns him into a celebrity. The story contains several embedded songs that can't be rendered in this text-only environment, so only their lyrics are shown here. Try to imagine a tune! Criticism sought!

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This is a writing assignment given to a group of 2nd graders. They were to rewrite the three little pigs. Here is my effort. I'm posting it as other because there is not place for children's literature.

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This is just a piece of writing thrown together when I was bored. Any kind of feedback is appreciated.

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A nine-year-old boy befriends his ailing great-aunt and fears losing her. Many thanks to all who have given valuable feedback so far; much appreciated!

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When Glory Rattinuss falls in love with Cosmos Sharpteeth,she doesn't realise the opposition to their marriage will involve a long, perilous journey to the Shining Mountains. This is a children's fantasy fiction novella.

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This is intended to be a children's picture book. I hope to do a series of books on all the five sences. This book shows how smell affects our lives in a humorous way. Although I feel I have the humor and story plot down, I am especially looking for any grammar and sentence structure issues that may be present.

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Please comment on voice, cadence and general impressions....is there potential for expansion into a book?.....thanks for taking time.....PF2

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The holiday season reminded me of this little event in my history. It made me laugh; I hope it makes you laugh too. The little boys in this story are now grown men with children of their own. By the way the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

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An adult child discovers his father wants a separation from his wife of forty years. The son is dismayed and confused, but his wife understands and is not surprised. I tried to write a story about everyday people dealing with a common problem adding some humor and frustration. Please tell me if you think it works. I welcome all remarks and suggestions.

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Just a slice of life, my reaction to seeing the pledge.

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Children's bedtime picture story book. Second draft.

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Children... Innocence.....Questions..... Promises.. Mockery Answers? Why?... Man's Need to block realities with beliefs?

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As a Godfather I help raise the granddaughters of my best friends. When the eldest Goddaughter was eight years old her grandparents and I had to deal with the pressure to get a cell phone. This is what happened.

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This is a work about the person who loved me the most as a child.. who taught me the most and provided a safe haven where I could be a child. It is full of small simplistic acts that made me whole.

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Memories of the freedom I had as a child on my grandfather's farm that children today will never know.

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Everyone please send their children to my new day care center. I'm putting my friend Moses in charge, since he came up with the best word in this poem.

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I don't know how to do this without giving too much away. A man loses everything, including his faith in God. His sister is there, never waning, to help him. His life changes and if you believe him...so could yours. There, how's that for a hook.

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Dr. Misery plots an end to Christmas and Santa Claus.

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The free world they came to find turns out to be something else.

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This is a Christmas story for all the kids the world over who still believe in Santa Claus. Sorry, I'm a bit late.

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This is a story written for ages 5-10.My dream is to do this as a series...same child, different episodes in her little life. This is a new step for me, so from title to everything....HELP!!!I am posting it here for this purpose, even though there is no Children's Category.

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