Content: africa

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Hi, this is a complete re-write changing the narrative to third person following feedback from the last posting. I also tried to give a little bit more context. I wanted to bring in some dialogue too but somehow that just didn't happen!!! I tried to keep the simplicity of the language but tone down the "little girl" voice. This was following some feedback but also I went to the Library to do some research and try to be a little clearer in my mind as to the target age group. I always intended the stories to be illustrated so if I could just ask everyone to imagine a large & colorful picture book read aloud to children in the 3 - 6 year old age group... I love feedback and am really grateful for any thoughts or help you can give. HG.

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A kijiji is a village in Kiswahili. This was a strange story for me to write. I know I spent time with Rachi's wife. (Rachi is pronounced Ray Chee). I remember the village. Or was it big enough to be a village? Being puzzled because people talked to me and I could not understand and then suddenly understanding them. Not being able to weave the grasses and suddenly being able to weave them... for the rest - I'm not sure. It seems to me I could not have been as unsupervised as I recall? Surely!!! But I still have these snapshots in my mind. The memories are mainly visual with no audio. I do remember smells:- sunshine, dirt, coconut oil, spice and sweat - all combined. Somehow I could not seem to find the right place for a smell description. This is a new story, written since I was on this site. I tried to apply some of the very kind (and helpful!) feedback I have received for my last stories. It is actually a bit easier to write a new story than to correct some of the old ones! I am happy for any constructive feedback! PS - just spoke to someone from Tanzania and the proper word for the language is Kiswahili - I think the other way is a shortened version? hg

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Hi, This is the second children's story I have posted. All of the stories are based on memory - I think they are mostly true, but nearly fifty years is a heck of a long time! I have changed the PoV to third person following previous feedback. In fact I have done a complete re-write. I hope this works but am open to and welcome any feedback - hg

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a little detective story for your afternoon reading pleasure. introducing my new favorite action crime-fighting hero i just invented right now today! too obvious on the crime execution??

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Anything

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*************PLEASE TAKE NOTE, THIS HAS BEEN ABANDONED FOR THE RE-WRITE******************* (I have performed a major rewrite and changed the title.) This novel involves three lives caught up in the miserable web of slavery. Desperation and vengeance drive the three main characters: Alain Gravois, the son of a fisherman living in Nantes, France, struggles to become his own man; Osawe, a warrior, living in a small village situated between two warring kingdoms along the 'slave coast' of Africa, struggles to survive; and Assad, a moor, and military man, is betrayed by an empire that is being torn apart. France, the 'slave coast' of Africa, Morocco and Haiti are the backdrop to their story which spans twenty-three years, 1727 to 1750. All criticism is welcome.

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Summary: Mark flies from Rome to become Australian High Commissioner in Lagos in August 1965, just as violence erupts there, Ian Smith unilaterally declares independence for Rhodesia and “Winds of Change� continue to sweep through Africa. A military coup, for which “six Ibo majors� are blamed, overthrows the Federal Government of Nigeria in January 1966, killing the Prime Minister, a celebrated Muslim leader in the north and others, mostly northerners, to the apparent advantage of the Ibos. In July, the northerners take their revenge in a counter coup and savagely massacre thousands of Ibos. A million Ibo refugees flee to their homeland in the Eastern Region. Mark mediates between new head of government Gowon and charismatic leader of the Ibos, Ojukwu. As the world media watch, Mark talks to Ojukwu in his capital Enugu, raising hopes of a peaceful settlement. Mark travels to other African countries talking to their heads of government; but “things fall apart�. Ojukwu declares an independent state of Biafra, civil war breaks out and “brother� fights “brother.� Most Great Powers support Gowon with arms and supplies. Disease, starvation, bombing and military action kill a million Ibo men, women and children. The OAU, the Commonwealth and the United Nations do little but watch the genocidal-style slaughter. At the United Nations in New York, Mark is helpless. Ojukwu’s army surrenders in January 1970. Biafra dies, others plunder its oil in ways that corrupt the country and destroy traditional industries. In 1973, Mark returns to Nigeria on a “Goodwill Mission�. He meets Gowon again. Peace reigns. Biafra is only a memory – an especially bitter memory to Ibos who still suffer oppression and discrimination. The world takes little notice. It has other worries, other conflicts, other crimes and corruptions in which some can selfishly rejoice and to which others must grudgingly attend… Feedback: Comment/criticism of any kind welcome, including comment on content, literary quality and readability.

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Interested in feedback primarily

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