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rita aguilar · 10-19-2010 13:11:50

Please don't misunderstand -- I did not in any way mean to imply Apo should skip the DNA manipulation with Greg (though I do have some issues with that), I'm just saying, as long as he can do that, making the virus (as well) should be a piece of cake. So why bother with hiring the doctor? That being said, there are still a lot of grunt work things the doctor can do -- such as cultivating Apo's super virus.

As always, these are just suggestions.

Susan Stec · 10-19-2010 14:50:58

I see your point, Rita, but like Jeanne, I wonder how many would put the book down because of it. I also wonder if it would add to the story or take away from it.

To me it wouldn't be as suspenseful if Apo develops the virus, even if he doesn't dispense it.

Doc's character adds quite a bit to the story because he's not willing to develop (something that makes him totally responsible for the most horrendous part of this scheme) and then distribute a virus that he knows will kill millions. And it tortures him the whole time, knowing he is just doing it to save his own ass at first; later his family. And the whole while I'm wondering what choice I would have made, all the while hoping he gets one over on Apo. Doc holds the key - he's the one that can save the day - BECAUSE Apo needs him.

And for added stress, Doc knows if he doesn't comply they will just kill him and find someone else. Someone with no morals - someone like the rest of the men on the panel. Someone like the Dark Angel. And how easy would that be?

So I think the suspension of belief is worth the trade off as to why Apo can't make the virus, or why he didn't.

Susan

Last edited by Susan Stec (10-19-2010 14:52:23)

rita aguilar · 10-19-2010 15:11:04

One point of inconsistency isn't enough to put a novel down, but I'm putting this forward in addition to some of the other issues I've seen throughout the novel (all of which Jeanne is aware of) that, for me, create a kind of constant nagging sense of 'something's not quite right with the story'.

I also think that everything I've put forward involves a relatively simple fix. And I guess my approach to writing is: if a simple fix will mean a few more readers, then why not do it?

But what I view as a simple fix may not be seen as such by the author, and in the end it's the author's vision that truly counts.

Susan Stec · 10-19-2010 16:00:01

I agree and that's what we're hear for, Rita, to give and take advice. I couldn't have finished my novel without everyone who put in a review or took the time to point out a problem they were concerned with. And as always, it was my decision to make the fix.

Usually if more then one person tells me something is wrong, I fix it. Maybe not as they advise, but always some way to balance out the problem.

I had a terrible time trying to decide whether to take Zaire, Resi, or both characters out of my first novel. I had half the site saying take them out they don't move the story along, and half the site saying don't take them out the gay relationship adds to the story. A debate much like today got to the root of the problem. And in the end I kept them both but amped up their relationship and their characters and it worked. I carried it over to the next two novels as well. And I am so grateful for the help.

I would hate if someone didn't speak their mind, and I so much appreciate it when they do. I always get something out of every suggestion or a debate like today. And I've had my fair share of them on They're so Vein. That's what I'm here for.

Susan

Jeanne M. Bannon · 10-19-2010 16:16:16

Oh wow, I didn't realize there was debate going on about DA. I'm thankful the book works for you Susan. It's a relief. You don't know how many times I've come close to just throwing in the towel and starting with a completely new project. I realize DA is complex with a lot of out there issues. I think my next novel will have a more straightforward plot. I've been cutting my teeth on this one since it's the first book I've ever written.

I know there are issues that still need straightening out, but to tell you the truth I'm confused right now. I try to be organized and make lots of notes, but when one thing changes that causes a chain reaction and then another edit.

I will tackle some issues, such as making Paul a bit more skeptical and I will try to bolster the bad guys' motivation for doing as Apollonius dictates. Other than that, I will just polish the language and fix nits and then start the query process. I've spent over a year and a half on this book and I foresee at least another couple of months of work. But all things tolled, I've learned a lot from writing DA and I know my next novel will have a tighter more thougt-out plot.

I thank you all for your comments as like Susan said, I could not have done it without all the wonderful, kind and wise folks here on this fabulous site.

Susan Stec · 10-20-2010 11:17:40

"I realize DA is complex with a lot of out there issues."

It's fantasy, Jeanne, and in my opinion all fantasy is 'out there'. LOL And that is what makes it entertaining. And such fun to write.

Susan

rita aguilar · 12-17-2010 16:03:56

Merry Christmas to you, too, Jeanne!

[smiley face icon with santa hat]

Jeanne M. Bannon · 12-17-2010 16:09:36

Thank you kindly Rita

Susan Stec · 12-30-2010 13:29:31

Jeanne, I just flipped you an email. Let me know if you get it.

Jeanne M. Bannon · 12-30-2010 14:03:31

Hi Susan - I'm just seeing this now. I wrote you back...guess you know I got the email, lol. BTW thanks again

Susan Stec · 12-30-2010 15:01:24

You're welcome, Jeanne. I wish you luck. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.

Jeanne M. Bannon · 12-30-2010 15:16:47

Thank you Susan. Will do...same here. I'm here for you

C Lee Brown · 01-27-2011 00:10:44

Hi Jeanne
I left you a response to your question about royalties.
Go to the "Works in Progress Visitor to Sandahl" blog

Lee

Last edited by C Lee Brown (01-27-2011 00:11:42)

MattyZink · 04-05-2011 06:49:07

Hey Jeanne, I'm back after taking a long break from the site.

How's DA coming along, I see you've shot up the ranks pretty damn fast! That's good to see.

Got any bites from publishers?

Jeanne M. Bannon · 04-05-2011 06:55:18

Hey my friend, Matty - so happy to see that you're back. Believe it or not, I'm still working on DA, polishing it up for the last time (I hope). In the meantime, I wrote another book called INVISIBLE and this is the one I'm shopping around right now. It's a YA book so it didn't take as long to write. I hope to have DA finished sometime this summer and then I'll query on it too.

Thanks for checking in. Have you picked up where you left off on your story?

MattyZink · 04-05-2011 16:53:11

No, I've completely overhalled the whole thing after reading Gore Vidal's 'Creation' and recording my grandfathers life story.

I changed it to 1st person for one, and also decided to make the plot a lot more fragmented then it once was, along the way I greatly expanded the content.

I'll have to check out that YA book, something about good YA novel that always gets me hooked.

Jeanne M. Bannon · 04-05-2011 19:06:24

Hey Matty - I'll have a read as soon as I can. Looking forward to seeing what you've done. My YA book is in first person as well - love the first person. I'm hooked now.

Jeanne M. Bannon · 06-03-2011 10:41:56

Hi everyone - I just wanted to announce that I've just signed on with Solstice Publishing for the publication of my novel, Invisible. Thanks to all the wonderful people/friends here on this site

Susan Stec · 06-03-2011 12:15:14

Yea! You go girl! I'm soooo excited for you! But I new it was just a matter of time. Congratulations! Well deserved!

Susan

Jeanne M. Bannon · 06-03-2011 12:17:42

Thanks my dear friend. I couldn't have done it without your unwavering support

Susan Stec · 06-03-2011 12:19:52

Ya know I love ya!

Jeanne M. Bannon · 06-03-2011 12:22:44

Right back atcha!

LouLou S · 06-05-2011 21:43:54

Jeanne M. Bannon wrote:
Hi everyone - I just wanted to announce that I've just signed on with Solstice Publishing for the publication of my novel, Invisible. Thanks to all the wonderful people/friends here on this site

Yiiipeeeee!!! That's awesome Jeanne!

I'm so pleased for you. I didn't even get a chance to read much of that, so that will be a great treat when it is published.

SOO GOOOD!!

Congratulations!!

Jeanne M. Bannon · 06-06-2011 04:18:44

Thanks very much Lou. And thanks for all the support you've given me along the way. It means a lot!

rita aguilar · 06-06-2011 10:05:00

Just thought I'd stop in and do a little happy dance for you on this thread, too.

Congratulations again, Jeanne. You really deserve it.

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