Hi Rita - thank you sooooo much. The action in my book is now taking place in Golfito and you've given me such a wonderful description and sense of the place. I think I picked a wonderful setting and although I've never been to Costa Rica, I am using my experience in Panama as I write. I could see, hear and smell the place as I read what you wrote. You're invaluable, thanks again!

Jeanne, did you repost ch 1 or your MS?

Jeanne M. Bannon wrote:

maryapryl wrote:

Jeanne, did you repost ch 1 or your MS?

Yes, I did. BTW I've got you on my list and will get back to reviewing your work soon. I apologize for not being around a lot lately. Work is killing me.

Don't I know it.  I'm up by 5 to leave the house by 6.  I don't get home usually until a little after six at night.  By the time I get everyting taken care I barely have enough time to squeeze in writing let alone reviewing . 

Don't worry and take your time.

Hi April - Thanks for leaving your review here for me. I don't know why you're having trouble since I republished chapter one. Pity you can't get credit for reviewing it. I really appreciate it though.

As for the flesh eating bacteria - Dane does get into trouble and the police do end up going after her, so I think I will keep it in. I think there has to be a little tiny bit of suspending reality on that point. i really couldn't come up with a more unique way of killing Joan other than NF - I think it surprises the reader as well. Most people would think an overdose of some medication would be the most logical and I didn't want to go with the obvious.

Please, take your time. I've been super busy lately as well. I've been working night and day.

Thanks again!

Hi Jeanne

ok. give it to me straight...  where am I in your story?  I went in to have a read and I was confused. the chapters look different.


Is it best if I start from the beginning?

thanks 

It did not take much to get Dane to go.  She is upset about killing the first woman.  I would think it might take more than June's words alone to get her to leave.  She had the vision of greg but he appeared "good" to her if I'm not mistaken.  So, really she is leaving based on something the Dark angel showed to June.  Does Dane trust what the dark angel says already? I know she killed once for him but does that me she will do anything he says now?  Now that doesn't mean her going is totally unbelievable to me.  I just thought it might take a little more proof to get her to go.  I hope this helps.  Talk to you later, Scrib.

A note to everyone following my work. I've juste deleted chapter 4 (Street Demon) so all the chapters are now renumbered from that point on. I hope I'm not causing too much confusion - I just want to point out that you may think you've already read a chapter when you haven't.

Thanks everyone

rita aguilar wrote:

Jeanne M. Bannon wrote:

Thanks Scrib - I'll make a note to flesh out Dane's motivations for going to Costa Rica a bit more. How I'll do that I don't know yet, but thanks so much for answering my question. You've helped me a lot.

Hmmm....It never occured to me that someone might not be motivated to go to Costa Rica. I mean, automatically.  Without a second thought.  Dark Angel or not.  Who would say no to a trip to Costa Rica? 

(This is not to suggest Scribble doesn't have a point, just that it never occured to me this could be a source of additional tension/conflict.  Go figure.)

I agree, but it is not like she is going for pina coladas and pollo guisado.  She is going to commit another murder.

Jeanne I am having the same problem.  I just emailed Sol too. ha!  I thought it was just me. Whew.... What a pain.   I agree. But at least we are not alone!

Susan

There are several people leaving messages to Sol on a few other threads.  It seems it is not just us.  Christ, what a pain.

Let's hope the upgrades are worth the wait. I'm bored without my TNBW
I suppose I could write though couldn't I?

Hi Jeanne,

In the review of your last chapter, I got so caught up in the question of how to make a villain, that I forgot to mention some thoughts I had about the virus. 

I think you could build in a lot more conflict about how/whether the virus is going to work, and especially whether the antidote will be effective at protecting the families of the folks sponsoring the project.  This would be a good debate to incorporate in this particular meeting, perhaps having some (or at least one) of Greg's investors play devil's advocate (hah! almost literally, I suppose...) and really try to nail down the doctor on what guarantees there are that his family will not be affected by the plague.

A test run in an indigenous village in Costa Rica probably wouldn't work.  CR's public health system is as rock solid as it gets in Latin America.  If there were an epidemic that killed 500 people in a single village, they would be RIGHT on top of it, even calling in the CDC, which would undoubtedly complicate Greg's efforts at keeping everything undercover.  Actually, I'm not sure where one could get away with doing something like this... perhaps in the Peruvian Amazon?  Or the Congo in Africa?  In any case, the good doctor will have to pick a place that is much more remote and does not have as advanced a health care system. 

Interesting on the conspiracy theories you mention; I'd never heard of them.  But I can certainly imagine certain m/billionaire crazies buying into such an idea, though I suspect the true powers behind modern transnationals understand high population density in poor countries is always to their advantage.  I think you could assemble a very interesting crew of wealthy supporters for Greg.  You don't have to include all their personalities and backstories in the novel, but as an author you should definitely know where they come from and what motivates them to follow him. 

Good stuff!  I like the fact that Greg is so very very evil. 

forgot to say...  Happy New Year to you too!!  I wish you the best year - may it be better than every other year!