Greg will be sleeping in this morning, due to an incident in a karaoke bar last night.  Sonny, if it weren't for writers like me, editors would be out of a job.  Quit being so selfish and think of the economy.  I'm sure Carmen is a perfectly lovely person who needed a break from someone who constantly corrects her grammar and washes her mouth out with soap when she says, "Heck!"  Even if she is the crazed and jealous psychopath you portray her to be, I was married to Juan Luis Garza, I worked for four years with a woman whose favorite thing to do was make people cry, over 90% of the residents in my home town voted for Bush twice and Karl Rove is my neighbor.  Carmen is the least of my worries.  I was trained in self-defense by a former Marine.  I'm out of cat food and have three cats who wouldn't think twice about eating a foreigner who broke down my door.  I'll sit her down when she arrives and show her the Kipling poem you posted.  Once she sees your attitude about women, I'm certain she'll rush back home, switchblade in hand, to have a little chat with you.

Where did you get the idea I respect Greg?

Kat

P.S.  Sonny, it would be funnier to say: She doesn't know a dangling participle from a box of Coco Puffs.

Last edited by kat nove (12-14-2008 09:00:57)

mishmont wrote:

kat nove wrote:

P.S.  Sonny, it would be funnier to say: She doesn't know a dangling participle from a box of Coco Puffs.

From a dangling earring is better.

Clever, but then some critic would whine about the use of "dangling" twice in one sentence.  I'd be willing to use it twice in the following sentences though:

She doesn't know a dangling participle from a pair of dangling balls.

She doesn't know a dangling paticiple from a dangling nut sack.

Last edited by kat nove (12-14-2008 09:16:19)

HavePenWillScribble wrote:

I can't help anyofyuz. Too far behind writing my own crap, and my head's kinda light today. Last night I cleared a corn-fed redneck karaoke bar by singing Steppenwolf, Billy Idol, G. Thorogood, and as a capper—Dean Martin. I think it was me singing 'Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime' that sent the cornponers scurrying for the safety of the forest.

Sonny, Greg's response to your desperate plea for help is the very reason you should choose women as friends.  I'm still willing to be yours, at least until the next time you make me sound like an idjit in an installment of Questions.

sonny wrote:

kat nove wrote:

Sonny, Greg's response to your desperate plea for help is the very reason you should choose women as friends.  I'm still willing to be yours, at least until the next time you make me sound like an idjit in an installment of Questions.

Did I do that?

I'm being serious here.  I love Questions and think it's quite brilliant, as well as hilarious.  The character with my name reminds me of all the people in Texas who make me cringe.  You've done an excellent job of portraying an average Texan.   A customer recently said to me, "You're not from Texas, are you?"  I asked her why she said that, although I knew the answer.  She said, "You don't have the accent and you don't talk like one."

I'm not suggesting you rewrite it.  In fact, kudos for portraying me as a typical Texan, rather than a changeling.

sonny wrote:

kat nove wrote:

I'm being serious here.  I love Questions and think it's quite brilliant, as well as hilarious.

Gee, thanks, Kat.  Does this mean from now on I can only say nice things about you?

Have you ever said anything nice about me?

By all means, continue the mocking.  I live for it!