Hey, I changed my bio.  Not sure if this is appropriate or not.  Thought I'd throw it out there and see.

Chris Laws aka 77claws was planted and nurtured in the fertile soil of Portland, Oregon. As the years passed, the natives began harvesting Chris Laws, recognizing him for his abundant supply of humor and wit. They were so impressed with the juiciness of his crop that they sent him to the Eugene, Oregon writing fair when he was only in grade school. There, Chris Laws quickly realized the world was full of delicious writers and he would have to be especially savory if he were to someday become the cream of the crop. Acting quickly, he began enlisting such performance enhancing drugs as Miracle-Grow-Some-Talent and raw fertilizer straight from the back end of a horse's you-know-what. With these tools in hand, Chris Laws began working on what he believed to be the greatest novel in all eternity. Alas, he realized this book had already been written by Dave Barry. Chris Laws was nothing if not an optimist though, so he began working on a new project: the 2nd greatest novel in all eternity. Some fifteen years later, after numerous outlines and revisions, that novel has arrived. At least the first five or so chapters have. With the help of TNBW and you, Chris Laws can finally finish this everlasting project and begin working on his next dream: the 3rd greatest novel in all eternity.